Does anyone else's toddler eat with them at around 6.30ish?

[Gateau]

My DH doesn't get in until this time, so it has just evolved that this is the time we all eat tea. (my DS is 20 months).
And I must admit, we like it like this, although it does mean DS doesn't go to bed until 8-8.30 or even later.
But we seem to be the only ones who do this. Most people I know feed their kids at 5-5.30pm and then eat their meal afterwards when they are in bed. But this just doesn't seem to work for us. That said, I am thinking of changing the routine as lately DS is just not going to bed until about 10.30! I am worried he is not getting a proper wind-down before bed-time.
Does anyone do similiar to me?

Goodgrrrl, I'm not slating you for what you do. You're getting a bit defensive for no reason.

Blimey - can he last this long ?? I think whatever works for your family. If your dc is still happy on the lead up to bedtime then no probs. If they are ratty and irritable however, maybe a bit too late to make them wait for din dins.

My sister's little girl always had dinner with them around 7pm - they all loved it. she was a real night owl and hasn't changed now she's 11 yrs.

Your family dynamics are unique and you shouldn't be influenced by other's opinions. Enjoy!!

I haven't read the whole thread, but when we moved nearer to DH's work, DS was 20 months and at that point we started eating together at around 6pm or 6.15pm ish. Bedtime at that point was 7pm, but now DS is 3.2yo, we have relaxed bedtime to around 7.30pm or 7.45pm.

I also have a 6yo mindee who stays until 7pm 2 or 3 days a week and he eats with us at that time too.

I have found that it seems like two lots of cooking and two lots of washing up if DH and I eat later, plus, it's nearly 9pm by the time we are done which is not long until our bedtime.

I think this all changes a lot when they start school though.

It didn't change for us when dd started school but, as stealthsquiggle says, playdates can be a trial as they mean dd has dinner two hours earlier then she normally would!

Gateau, i know i am very lucky, until dd2 was 6 weeks old dh worked from early morning until when it got dark (Summer!). Mealtimes are, on the whole, great, and I really love being able to eat together ( I also really love eating pizza and drinking wine in front of the telly on a Friday night, though!)

DS (21mths) eats with us at 6-6.30 as there is no way that I am doing a 5pm and then starting to cook all over again at 7.30 every night. Once we have eaten he has a quiet play whilst I clear up from dinner then goes straight in the bath, then stories and bed at 7.30. Everyone moans that he shouldn't have a bath straight away but we have done this since he was born and it works for us. He sleeps from 1.30 - 4pm and has a snack when he wakes so wouldn't want to give him his dinner at 5.

Gateau- i wasn't getting defensive! I was just saying we have no choice about going to bed early...it would be nice if we could stay up. Anyone who knows me on other threads will know that sleep deprivation is a regular thing in my house.

Hazey- as long as you're alright and the baby strain hasn't killed you off!

Have just spoken to my health visitor about DS being unsettled at bedtime (a recent thing) and she advised that we bring his bedtime forward to 7pm. She thinks he's overtired and it's having a knock-on effect on his bedtimr routine.
I really can't see this happening as on the days I work we don't even get home until after 5.30.
Plus, as stated before, an earleir tea for him alone doesn't suit our lifedtyle. That said, I would sacrifice what I want for the sake of my child's wellbeing, IF it would make a difference.
Any advice?

My DH isnt in until at least 8pm. Boys eat at 5-6pm then play, bath, bed and sometimes story - i theyve been good! i eat with dh if home around 8 or if he is away/out then ill eat once boys r in bed at 7-7.30pm.

We do what hertsnessex does. Dh gets home at about 8pm./ DSs (7, 3.5 & 21mths) all fed at 5-5.30pm with me having a cup of tea and a chat with them then. Then follows bath, story, etc and hr our so later. IF they can last long enough, they can wait up to see DH who will then put them to bed (which can last about 20 mins as he has a catch up and a play with all 3.

Works for us and we get to have adult time in the evening.

BTW, I don't cook twice either. Cook for us all in time for the boys to have some and then we have the same later, sometimes with 'grown up' things added,like chilli peppers, etc.

could you eat at 6pm, and aim for 7.30pm bedtime?

I could do 6.15 and aim for a 7.45 bedtime.
Better, eh?

i think with bedtimes a gradual approach is best- otherwise it just leads to stress and confusion for everyone! Mine go to bed early as it is, but they were going even earlier and i had to edge them later bit by bit (5 mins later each night)

You're right. I was thinking gradual too.
That said, any earlier - on work nights - is impossible for me. And I think consistency is important for LOs.

Our children have always (even before they were eating solids) eaten with us at around 7-7:30. They have always gone to bed around 8-8:15 and it's never been a problem for us. I was brought up in France so might have a slightly different take from many on the whole living life as a family unit thing.

My DS1 used to eat about 5:30pm (he is nearly 3) but since DTs (nearly one) have been eating supper he wants to eat with them at 4:30. They cannot (have tried) make it to 5:30, or even 5pm, unless they snack and thus then dont eat proper supper, so it means he eats very early now. And then invariably has to have some crackers or something before bed. Am looking forward to it moving to a bit later again eventually, but like to be able to get everyone in bed as early as possible!

We eat together at 6pm, then ds has bath and milk and is in bed for 7 - best of both worlds!

gateau - what time does ds get up in the morning??
total sleep is what counts not what time he goes to bed

ds2 (21 months) eats with us in the evening - but he has an "afternoon tea" (sandwiches and fruit, sometimes cake) at about 4.30 too. That way he doesn't go too long between meals, but get used to family eating too. He's rather a night owl though, so we've got no chance of getting him to bed before 8 anyway.

luvaduck, his getting up times have been varied recently. He used to be a 7 o-clock riser and had a big mid-morning sleep of a coupe of hours.
Now he gets up anytime between 7 and about 9.30! And his now afternoon nap only lasts about an hour. I don;t think he's getti g enough sleep at the mo.
Honestly, I don't know where I am with his routine and think I am gettingmyself increasingly worked up about it.
By thw way, is it ok for LOs to have a bath straight after a meal? My DH claims it isn't. He says the same thing about going to bed straight after a meal. Any advice?

my kids have a bath about 10-15mins after tea, then bed shortly after that. Never done them any harm. Unless of course your bath is like a pool and they're planning to to do the butterfly stroke in there

No such luck..

its fine to have a bath after a meal (not swimming but a bath is fine)

he may be overtired if he gets up at 7. If iwere you i would work out a vague/flexible routine that involves 12 hours in bed from when he goes down, and decent lunch time nap

something like

get up 8/830
breakfast
midmorning snack
lunch about 1
sleep 130-30
snack/milk when gets up

dinner 630

bath 730
8/830 bed

i suppose the problem might be the that room is too light for him to sleep past 7am, if that the case then yes you probably need to put him to bed earlier so he gets his full 12 hours (albeit broken)

if he'll sleep past 7 then above routine should work well