Does anyone else's toddler eat with them at around 6.30ish?

[Gateau]

My DH doesn't get in until this time, so it has just evolved that this is the time we all eat tea. (my DS is 20 months).
And I must admit, we like it like this, although it does mean DS doesn't go to bed until 8-8.30 or even later.
But we seem to be the only ones who do this. Most people I know feed their kids at 5-5.30pm and then eat their meal afterwards when they are in bed. But this just doesn't seem to work for us. That said, I am thinking of changing the routine as lately DS is just not going to bed until about 10.30! I am worried he is not getting a proper wind-down before bed-time.
Does anyone do similiar to me?

Oops, not DD; DS.

re routine: no telly after tea, straight into bath (on a bath night, otherwise pyjamas) then story in bed. but that's for the 5 year old, toddler just isn't ready to sleep that early if she's napped (if not we have earlier tea and get her to sleep first, around 7). so really i'm not the one to advise on this

No, Lucy678. He doesn't eat everything: but he TRIES everything.

I would love us to all eat together, but DD needs to be in bed by 7pm so usually we eat after her. At the weekends we try to eat together.

answering the post dinner routine
usually dd has a bath mostly because she likes playing n the water one of us will keep an eye on her, then story time then lights out she usually is asleep within 10mins

I should say that all this routine is very 'movable' she can be asleep by 8pm or 10pm depending on the day she/we have had, very useful for travelling and holidays

I eat with my daughter, although DH isn't home until very late most nights so we mostly don't eat with him. I have one daughter, who is 2.3.

We eat at 6ish, DD has half an hour's television (something recorded, eg Night Garden or Balamory) or half an hour's playing or reading books. Then she has a bath at 7, into bed for 7.45ish, more reading and lights out between 8 and 8.30. She sleeps until 7 in the morning which suits me just fine!

Thanks everyone. I don;t think I would get as many replies!
Any more advice re bedtime routine after late tea?

I did find it hard work when they were little, but am now reaping the rewards- we have got to a stage where dinner really is family focus time.

As for cooking twice- no, would never have occurred to me. From an age where they could understand, they were allowed to list three foodstuffs they really would not eat; otherwise they would have to eat or stay hungry. Made a minimum of fuss about it, that was just the rules. No rude comments to the cook allowed, and any changes to the list to be made before the shopping had been done.

They both went through a stage of being fussy eaters and have both emerged at the other end.

It's been hard work but very well worth it. I know I can send them for a meal to other families and they won't drive their hostess up the wall by whingeing, they are used to eating with adults and, apart from ds who has motor problems, observe reasonable table manners.

She used not to have a bath every day and would play instead during that time but has recently started asking for one and it is a nice relaxing thing to do before bed.

I am extremely laissez faire in my parenting in general. If dh is expected home we all eat together. She then has a bath, a cuddle, some milk and books and goes to bed when she's ready. Usually by 8.30/9.00pm. She tells us it's night night time and off she goes. If dh is later than usual then I bath her while he's at work, get her ready for bed and she eats in her pyjamas. If dh is on a late shift we just eat together, bath together and go to bed together. She's 20 months.

I think it only works if they sleep longer in the morning to compensate. If you have an early riser regardless then early bed is needed. DD never wakes before 8am.

lucy678 there are a few things my lot won't eat - salmon (allergy), spicy curries spring to mind, but otherwise yep we eat the same (rule is they have to try it, if don't like it bread and butter is only alternative). occasionally if i fancy something i know they won't touch/is too expensive for four then they have beans on toast, fishfingers etc and we eat later. and i think being a foodie is very much an issue - if you cater to their tastes to some degree but you give them the option to try lots of things and they see you eating and enjoying them that's bound to make them more adventurous eaters imo.

That is nonsensical. So supper is curry. He tries and doesn't like.Then what? I am not eating food my children deem acceptable all of my life.

Just wanted to add - it's not just that my DS needs to eat earlier...I couldn't stand eating at 6.30pm! Me and DH don't eat until 8pm. I'm just not hungry at 6pm.

Yes I agree. My optimum time is 9pm.

Sounds good Cory. I think I'll take some of that on board!

Why nonsensical? In my house that would be "he tries it and does not like it, so has to stock up on the rice and salad". Won't do him any harm as a one off. Next time curry comes round, I would expect him to try it again. Eventually, he will either decide it's not so bad or that this is one of his 3 most hated foodstuffs. If it is, then I would cut down on the number of times we serve that particular dish and try to offer him a little something on the side.

What puppydetox said- they can always fill up on bread and butter.

When I was a child we had a very limited budget, so had to eat what there was. I did not grow up with food problems, mainly I think because my Mum was calm and relaxed about it. It was just a fact of life that boiled spuds and cods roe were cheap and some things I might have liked better weren't.

not nonsensical at all lucy - curry here includes rice, yoghurt, mango chutney, maybe daal, if i fancy spicy i'll dish theirs out before i add extra spices/add chilli sauce at table. so they can have a small bit of (gently spiced), if don't like can have whichever bits of meal they do like - rice/yog etc.

and if they really don't like any of it they have bread and butter.

i don't see what's difficult to understand about that.

Lucy, I don't see what your problem is.

22 mo DD eats at about 5.45, and we eat at about 7.30 after she's gone to bed. I would love to do things the OP's way, as DD generally eats what we eat.

I'm changing job soon though, and will be out until 6.15ish three days each week, so we might give family meals at 6.30 a whirl. If we do, I'll get DH to plonk DD in the bath while I cook so she can get to bed at a reasonable hour.

We do this and have done since dd started eating proper meals - she is 4 now.

We ususally eat between 6-6.30 and she is in bed by 7.30.

After tea routine = no tv, quick play or cuddle with ds, then up to bed for stories. Every other night she has a v quick bath.

Thurs and Fri she is at home in the afternoon so she will sometimes have her bath before tea.

Sometimes dh and I eat later, and dd has a quick tea on her own, but I much prefer us all eating together, and all eating the same thing.

we feed the boys at 5-5.30 if it is 5.30 I eat with the boys and sometimes DH makes it home to join us - and we all eat at this time together at the weekends.

The boys are in the bath at 6.30 and asleep at 7pm. They eat home cooked meals and eat a huge variety of food that is not limited by the fact that they don't always eat with us.

The main thing in my opinion is that you do what is right for your family - my boys need 12 hours sleep - they are horrible without it - so the important thing is that they have to be up shortly after 7am therefore they have to go to bed about 7pm.

We all eat together at around 6/6.30pm and the little ones (1 and 3) go up for a bath immediately afterwards. One of us adults does bath time and the other does the washing up and cleaning up the kitchen and the teenagers do their homework/piano.

It does mean the little ones don't go to bed until about 8/8.30pm but this works very well for us.

In answer to OP: we have always had our main meal together as a family at some point after 6pm (sometimes closer to 7). My younger dc (now nearly 4) rarely gets to bed before 8, but even on a pre-school morning he doesn't have to be up until 7.30, so this has always seemed to work OK for him. Upside is - he has never been an early riser. We do supper then ds gets straight into the bath, then story then lights out. The bit after supper takes half an hour - it's a finely honed routine, with no room for messing about (have to remind dh about that from time to time).

an example of how eating together helps with fussiness: dd had a scary allergic reaction to smoked salmon years go and as a result has (understandably) refused to touch it since. she had the same reaction to pepperoni and the docs told us it was probably preservatives rather than the fish/meat itself that caused the reaction.

so we got some local no-preservatives smoked trout and salmon for xmas. she tried some of the trout (and liked it) but didn't want the salmon (we offered her some but didn't push it). after the meal she said "next time you're having salmon i'll try some".

i'm not saying they (or we) eat everything but i think so many of our ideas about food are culturally transmitted, that eating (and cooking) together has to be beneficial.

We all eat together about 6.30-ish. Then there's either a short playtime or straight off to bath if it's a bath night. Into bed for stories by 7.30-7.45pm, asleep by 8pm. Seems to work for us but then my children don't need as much sleep as, for instance, Greyskull's. (both the older DDs had dropped their daytime naps by 2.4 years).

Lucy, I really don't get your problem, and think you're being quite rude. It's not nonsense - my children will try most foods and, like cory's, have a few things they just will not eat otherwise they eat what is served. And we keep a range of spices and condiments that DH and I can add to our meals if we want to spice them up a bit.