What do I give fussy friends for tea?

[bella29]

Hey there people

Trying to take a bit of heat off that poor woman who asked if it would be rude to use a DS in church

I do genuinely want to know though what you all think about feeding dc's fussy friends when they come round for tea.

They are not majorly weird fussy, but there's a pair of siblings and between the two of them meat and vegetables are excluded, and anything remotely exotic (eg an olive) is just not on.

Should I stick to my guns and dish up what we normally eat or cater to their problems tastes.

TIA & leave that poor woman with the DS alone!

i always serve cheese and tomato pizza when the boys' mates come over.

In such situations I would sreve soemthing that was put into serving bowls and they could take what they liked.

So for example: pasta

• plain pasta in a bowl
• tomato or bolognaise sauce in a bowl
• cheese in a bowl
• garlic bread in a bowl
• salad in a bowl

Bits and bobs tea, with pitta bread, ham, cheese, hummous, cucumber/carrot/pepper/celery sticks, dried apricots and raisins, sliced boiled egg etc. Everyone can help themselves to what they like, you're only making one meal and it's easy to prepare. You can include olives etc. too if your DC like them.

We do like snowleopard also - DD calls it a rainbow salad. Big platter with cold meats, salads, dips, bread, coold pasta, etc.

Fish fingers, dry pasta and baby corn or carrott sticks. Never fails.

Pizza out, as one of them doesn't do tomatoes.

I do like your suggestions, thanks, but really I was wondering whether there comes a point (these children are 4 & 6) where they should be able to eat what's given to them, or at least quietly leave the bits they don't like?

At 4 and 6 I think it's unlikely. My DS is a good eater and eats most things, but there are some things he really dislikes and if it can be avoided I don't think he should be "made" to eat them IYSWIM. I mean there are lots of adults who don't like/won't eat certain foods and we have to put up with them don't we? I wheel out the bits and bobs tea for them too! It's a good option because no one is obviously turning up their nose at anything - they just help themselves to what they fancy. Hula's pasta concept works the same way and another you can do is baked potatoes - I put out plates of grated cheese, fried mushrooms and onions, bacon bits and/or tuna mayo.

No, I agree they shouldn't be made to eat what they don't like, but if there are e.g. veg on the plate they don't want, I am happy for them to leave that alone.

Obviously you'd hope there would come a point but I wouldn't deliberately take on other people's children's food issues, tbh. I'd serve something likely to be popular and just say "oh well never mind" if they weren't keen.

Some of my son's food isn't always popular with other kids, I'm always adding veg to things like lentils or spinach in the bolognese as my son's pretty good with most foods. It can be frustrating when you slave over something that just gets wasted / rejected.

I find fish fingers with mash and peas or low sugar/salt baked beans seems to work with all my friends kids.

Just as Snowleopard does and it has always worked well. It means that the fussy friend does not feel overwhelmed with food that he won't eat and hopefully we do not add to his food issues.

I also tend to serve bits and bobs meals to visiting children, most of whom are fussy IME. It varies among basic staples - pasta and a choice of sauces and veg and cheese, or pizza. Sometimes stuffed tortillas (and the fussy ones just have plain tortilla with a bit of sweetcorn). But some don't like pizza and many don't like anything on pasta, so some just eat plain pasta or a piece of toast.

I don't ever bother with anything at all exotic as too many of our visiting guests are bound not to like it.

I do sometimes wish that all children had been brought up by Victorian nannies and just had to eat everything without a murmer.

"I do sometimes wish that all children had been brought up by Victorian nannies and just had to eat everything without a murmer."

lol fennel

me too. I have not been Victorian enough, I fear. I was too busy being impressed with one twin's penchant for eating odd stuff like squid and chillies to get tough with him re not eating mashed potato or rice or pasta... And the other one gamely tries to choke down everything because he's so eager to please but looks like a whipped puppy dog being forced to eat vomit.

I'm sure they are horrendous at other people's houses though I always give them strict instruction to eat or at least be v polite.

sorry for typo- I actually give them more than one instruction...

Fish fingers, oven chips and beans.
It's not my job to sort out other kids fussy eating and I don't mind this occasionally for my kids. They love it.

This thread has only made me really want pasta & olives now

Most of you seem far more accommodating than any of the parents I ever knew as a child - most of them just served stuff up on a plate & got all sniffy if you didn't like any of it. There were certainly no options.

I'm anosmic, so am naturally quite fussy - texture is far more important to me than to most people, & I have no 'blending' between types of taste. For example I can't possibly eat sweet & sour anything, because I can taste the sweet & the sour completely separately & it's vile. Eating at other people's houses was always a nightmare (& eating at my own was a complete nightmare for my parents as for a long time I'd only eat about 5 things), but I hope to be far more like all of you!

I agree it's not my place to sort out other children and believe me, I don't want to, but I do resent having to feed my children plain unhealthy stuff which they don't like, in order to please the visitors, iyswim.

I often do a sort of mini roast if anyone is fussy. If its only for the kids then a couple of chicken pieces (skin on) in the oven, add to that a potato, wedged and bunged in oven, ready made yorkies and some veg and gravy. Normally goes down really well and have yet to meet a child that doesn't like yorkshire puds!

Meant to add, if they don't eat meat or veg, then fine don't worry, they can fill up on yorkshire and wedges. Pud normally icecream with fresh fruit but of course a selection of sauce and sprinkles and everyone is happy and I don't think its at all unhealthy.

Just serve up your normal stuff then, bella, and maybe have some bread and butter as a back up. I think the key is not to be offended if kids don't like it, though.

I think at that age its more important the tea date goes well, so I tend to do the whole 'don't worry, if you don't like it just leave it' with lots of smiling. If they truly haven't eaten a thing I would maybe mention to Mum so at least she could give them a snack at home, but otherwise if parent were to ask would again do lots of smiling and say they ate some and it was fine. If the child is fussy and I know them quite well I would always try to include something I knew they liked. I want them to think I am great not awful. My kids think I am awful so I love it if a guest has fun

Bella I think if you were to try any of the suggestions so far which are healthy and tasty and generally appealing to kids, then you'll be making an effort which should be appreciated. The jacket potato idea was good as well, or even letting them make their own sandwiches from a choice of fillings if they don't like potatoes.

There's fussy and then there's just plain unhealthy - if you give a choice and they reject it all then they're clearly the latter. Just because a child is fussy doesn't mean they have to eat crap.

When I think of the times I was made to sit at the table until it was all gone as a child no matter what was on my plate I just think some kids don't know they're born!

I think the do-it-yourself tea as mentioned by Hulababy and Snow leopard works really well. I also get mine to make their own pizzas - ds doesn't like cheese so has sauce and ham, if they don't like cheese they can have all the toppings they like on top of the base. Helping themselves can take a lot of the strain away for you and them!

My DD two best mates (sisters) are really fussy.

I find it hard to get together a meal that they can all eat due to the fussiness and DD's allergies.

Don't want to feed my kids unhealthy crap just so that visiting kids will eat. Tend to give them pasta as have yet to find anything else they will eat.

They have refused fish fingers, mashed potato, eggs, peas, pizza, chicken casserole, pancakes, lemon drizzle cake AND Nigel Slater's gorgeous chocolate cake.

Basically I think they don't like eating things unless they have been made by their mum. Last time we had them she suggested I make a bacon quiche type thing as they love that. They wouldn't eat it.

Don't know why I care and they are lovely children but for some reason it just really pisses me off.

What do they eat at home? Couldn't you serve that sort of thing up?

FWIW I would put a variety of stuff out for them to choose from, and hope they like something. They won't starve in one meal and they all love ice-cream / cake or whatever for pud!