8 year old says she hates herself and doesn't want to live

[Abitconcerned]

A bit concerned is under statement of the year.

Bit of background, she's come out with corkers like that before and we've tried, don't be daft come lets get you off to school type ignoring it in case it was attention seeking.
At school she told other 7 year olds last year she was going to kill herself with a knife and caused all hell to break loose.
She has actually gone to my kitchen draws and taken out a knife causing my other kids to scream blue murder with fear.
This morning she came out with this because DH told her to hurry up getting dressed, not in a gruff voice just chivying her along like he did with the others.
She seems to get little pleasure from anything, has had drama classes, horse riding, piano, brownies etc she just cannot be arsed with any of it.
I have booked an appointment with the GP, we've exhausted the schools options I feel. I've sat and cried in the heads office because she has so few friends and ailienates herself from the other children.
Has anybody else been through this and had a positive outcome ?
Sometimes she seems really happy, watching tv, reading and drawing and then times she's so angry and self harms (in punching her own face). It terrifies the younger ones and frankly me too.

so sorry. bumping this so hopefully you can get some sound advice.

Definitely see your GP,and insist it is taken seriously. What is she like at school apart from no friends? How would you describe her? How is she academically? Is it possible that she is being bullied?

No real advice, just hopefully bumping for you.

She sounds like a very angry little girl. There must be something going on to make her feel this way, and I'm glad you're taking her to the GP. She may be referred for counselling at the local CAMHS unit, but the waiting lists are usually very long, so ask your GP if he/she can recommend a private therapist for her.

So sorry things are so bad.

I don't know either, abc, but wonder whether childhood depression could be a possibility and whether you could get a referral to a child psychiatrist? So sorry for what you are going through.

I haven't had any experience of this, but it sounds like you are doing the right thing by going to the GP - it sounds like something you need specialist help with.

Hopefully someone with personal experience will see this soon.

Wanted to bump for you.

Poor DD and poor you. I've no experience so can't offer any advice. I do think the GP is the right way to go for now though. What about other organisations that help children or specifically childhood depression?

I just googled childhood depression and found loads of links.

I hope you get some help and advice for this and your DD gets the support she needs.

I've no experience of this but I agree you need to see your GP and get a referral to CAMH'S (child and adolescent mental health services).

I'd ask for a referral to your local CAMHS,(child and adolescent mental health services) via your GP as I think she needs to be assessed as to the liklihood of her either hurting herself or hurting someone else. Push for some counselling - last year it helped my friend's 9 year old son whose depressive anxieties were ruling the entire household.

Everyone's advice here is spot on. You can also ring up your local Social Services Dept and they can make an emergency referral (at least here in Ireland they can) to see someone within a day or the next if there's an immediate fear for her safety. They will also be able to guide you and your family. best of luck to you

I don't actually believe for a moment that she'd harm herself or anybody else at the moment, what I am scared stiff of is this esculating.

She kind of is bullied but only because the others kids think she's a werido, and who could blame them when she comes out with corkers like that.

My biggest fear is opening a pandora's box, does anybody know what happens when she gets assessed ? I just know from when I called for help with an elderly relative to MIND who was suffering from depression they asked me if i wanted her sectioned at which point i put the phone down.

Sorry just read the other questions.
At school academically she's fantastic, above average reading age, has pulled her socks up in maths, seems to have really connected with her year teacher.
She has the two friend triangle which can be a nightmare and she does lash out at times when she's frustrated. NOw I must admit I do too when she's pushed and pushed she's had the odd smack on the bum, not talking a monthly occurance, maybe once this year.
She just doesn't seem to empathise with other people or get why they aren't responding to her which makes her more frustrated.
I wouldn't say my other kids are a walk in the park and maybe this is her way of getting attention where as they drop to the floor and howl ?

Have the school said anything about her problem? If so, have they suggested any support?

Will you think about bringing her to the GP?
I had dealings with a child who was about 4/5 years older who exhibited the same kind of behaviour until he became quite frightening to be with. He was referred and diagnosed as having Oppositional Defiance Disorder and was put on anti psychotic meds iirc. This was after his mum being told for 2 years that his behaviour was down to her poor parenting.
Trust your own instincts (btw I'm delighted to say that he's doing really well now).

Hate to say this, but is there any possibility she is being abused?

Has she seen an educational psych? Could she have depression? Could she be on autistic spectrum?

She needs to see a doctor asap.

I too wondered if she might be on the autistic spectrum - maybe Aspergers? The lack of friends, lack of social skills/empathy and seeming 'weird' are flags for me. She may be bullied for it too. Does/did she she play imaginatively (ie pretend a hairbrush is a pet, pretend her toy doll is real and has feeling etc), does she prefer routines or obey rules rather strictly?

Would she be happier if she didn't have to go to school?

Her drawings and stories are out of this world, she hates routine, gets really fed up of doing the same thing, like a regular drama class every week.
So it doesn't really fit with anything other than depression from the little i've read online.
The abuse this crossed my mind when we had a nanny who took the kids to her house and had an argument with her boyfriend over the nanny's previous life (partying from what I can gather) but the kids over heard it and the nanny told them not to tell me and they had a group hug. Of course 3 months down the line they did tell me but the nanny had left by then.
Dh is beyond reproach he just wouldn't and is never alone with one child, the middle one can't hold her own water she'd tell if anything was wrong.

Ds1 (also 8) was a great deal like this over the summer although he has calmed down a lot in the last few weeks. We went to the GP at the beginning of September, were referred to CAMHS and had initial assessment there about a month ago. He is now seeing a psychiatrist next week for the first time. He really loved talking to the psychologist during the assessment and I think that being able to do that has played a big part in him settling down since.

CAMHS have been great for us. They told us they had long waiting lists and he probably wouldn't see anyone until the New Year but have in fact found him an appointment much sooner. They contacted school for a report first, but only after us giving them permission.

I know how upsetting and draining it is to see your child so angry or distressed. I hope you get some help soon.

onwardandoutward - I think she would be, the highlight of her day is lunch at the deli bar but I am scared of moving her, in case it's out of the frying pan into the fire or taking her out altogether because she is bright, expected to pass the 11+ and there's no reason why she shouldn't do really well academically and I don't want her to be any more isolated/out of the loop than she already is.

The school told me about what happened and then over to us to deal with.

At least you don't seem to think i'm over reacting like my mother does.

fwiw, I don't think you're overreacting at all. Things don't seem right to you, and you're her mum, you're the expert on your dd. Certainly, Aspergers may make sense here but until she's assessed no one will know for sure, and it can be something "they" (Educational Psychologists and Psychologists) prefer to have diagnosed by someone who specialises in the field, or else wait until the child is older to get a definitive answer. Either way, it will take some time to assess and find out exactly what's going on for your dd.
Write down the things that concern you, the "weirdness" the intellectual ability, the isolation etc etc. Please make an appointment with your GP and you'll be on the right road. Best of luck

You're not overreacting imo, I'd have been very worried if my ds had said stuff like that at that age.

Thanks, she phoned childline tonight off her own bat and then told me she is having some problems with year 6 girls.
I shall go and see the head tomorrow and maybe still see the GP see if we can help her express herself better in future.

School might be able to kind of "fast track" you a CAMHS meeting too; or the GP might.

I hope it goes well with the head tomorrow; I really feel for you.

Yes good luck with the school. They do have influence to push things through quicker. If not, I think that looking at a private assessemnt may be an option - if only for your peace of mind.
Please keep us updated

How did you get on at school?