I am beating mysefl up - does anyone else feel guilty about being bored with their toddler?

[Gateau]

I work three days a week and have four days at home with my 18-month old DS. It's usually just the two of us as my Dh works weekends (he only gets every other Sunday off).
I really enjoy my days off with DS. Probably because his personality is developing, he's interacting a lot more and trying to talk . We have dood fun together.
However yesteday - ue to tiredness and a slight (very rare!!) hangover, I just couldn;t be bothered to do much with DS. We stayed in all day, for example, and that is totally rare for us! I woke up in great spirits but as the day went on, I got really bored and was willing him to go for his nap - which he didn't until 3pm.
I usually find lots of things to do with him, but yesterday everything seemed like a huge effort and I got really bored playing with his toys. (He doesn't play on his own). I was also getting annoyed at him (but didn;t show it)following me around everywhere when I was trying to do housey stuff.
Now I am wracked with guilt that I got so bored being with him and couldn't be bothered doing anything with him. Has anyone experienced similiar? Is this normal?? I feel so bad.

Crikey, the thread title looks REALLY bad. I don't mean I'm always bored WITH my toddler. What I mean is that on some days I'm bored playing with him and sometimes just wish he'd play on his own for a while.

I reckon the toddler years are the hardest. You can sit and coo over a newborn or a 5year old and over will hold conversations with you as well as entertaining themselves lots of the time.

I used to get so bored of sitting on the floor doing the same jigsaw over and over or paying with the same toy all the time.

I did it but I can't say it was my favourite time of their childhood.

Don't feel bad. Especially because you were tired and hungover. We can't be perfct all the time.

I'm bored with parenting small children. full stop.

I can't wait until ds4 gets older/bigger/less demanding. After 10 yrs of neing a SAHM I would LOVE a job.

Hi, don't worry this is compleatly normal. I spent 2 years as a SAHM, I only worked sleep-in shifts at a local old peoples home.
I had to get out with my daughter every day, to maintain my sanity. I'd been used to working FT and felt isolated and just wasn't a natural in knowing how to entertain a little one. If I had another adult with me, it was great.

Bored - yes.

Guilty - no.

Thanks everyone for the reassurance. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
As I said, I usually really enjoy mucking about with LO. But yesterday I was just clock-watching.

God no you are not alone (thinks back to my facebook status yesterday about not being bothered to look interested in what the dd's were doing)

I work 2 days a week (thankfully) and dd1 goes to preschool the other 3 mornings but dd2 (22months) with me all day and although shes adorable and funny its so friggin montenmous (sp???) DD1 and DD2 have brief spells where they play together and dd2 is much better at playing on her own but most afternoons I am home doing stuff and leave them to it (unless it involves felt tips/paint etc and then I keep a better eye on them)

DD1 never played on her own but tbh I probably didnt ;leave her to get on with it where as DD2 has sort of learnt that I cannot occupy her all the time (and seems to find the silliest things to occupy herself, yesterday it was my dustpan and brush and she spent 30minutes sweeping one corner for me!)

I think you could be right eandh about not leaving DC alone long enough for them to get used to playing on their own.
Yesterday, for example, I picked up a magazine and read it for several minutes whiile DS payed on his own. It was bliss, albet for several minutes and made me think that maybe I should continue doing this to encourage to play longer by himself.
Apparently he plays very well by himself in nursery. So I must be doing something wrong - ie paying him too much attention!

18 months is so hard.

I'm so gald DS is nearly three and very into playing doctors which invovled me lying on the sofa being sick which he sticks plasters on and gives me injections.

oh and absolutely you need to leave him playing on his own a bit more. Start with a few minutes and build it up.

These are the things we need to think of when we keep feeling broody for more babies! There are the wonderful times, and there are the mundane times. Just remind yourself you wouldn't want to wish away the wonderful times which will just keep on coming as they develop!

If you have a hangover and can tolerate being in the same HOUSE as an 18month old I think you are a saint, frankly. Hangovers and toddlers are a match made in hell.
I think you judge yourself incredibly harshly. If you normally love being with him four days a week, with very little input from your dh, then that's incredibly good going. I'm never that patient.

Need to leave him to play, kew, yes, but I have tried this and he usually just totters after me after a few minutes.
Do you think I should do it by sitting in the same room with him, maybe by reading a book?

If I had to spend all day one on one with an adult who had v. narrow interests I would also be bored. Who says mothers should enjoy playing kids games? That's not the important bit - we sign up to love and care for them - not to narrow our interests to theirs. Other kids and childcare workers are there for playing with. Having had kids I now have a huge respect for childcare workers but could NEVER do it myself.

A bit of "benign neglect" is prib a good idea. I think most 1st children get too much attention and become v. demanding of attention as a result. Try and imagine how much attention they would be getting as a younger sibling and limit them to that.

Thank you for making me feel so much better, mabanana. That's great encouragement.

Any tips on how we leave them to play alone though? It's very hard when they don't leave you alone!
I love my little man to bits but he just follows me everywhere!

DOn't feel guilty. You are bored with your toddler because, no matter how cute, adorable and well-loved, toddlers are boring. And repetitive and hard work. And messy. And it took me 3 children to realise that was true and not a problem with me. It's excruciatingly dull to be stuck at home with them! But conversely I find going out with toddlers great fun.

You are normal.

"Do you think I should do it by sitting in the same room with him, maybe by reading a book? " well a book might be ambitious! But a magazine/newspaper certainly. Thats how I started. Alternatively do somthing "busy" whilsy he plays in the same room. I bring DS's cars into the kitchen and he plays whislt I cook for example.

I also think you should give yourself a break. It won't hurt him if you read a magazine for a minute, but equally, it's fine to play with him all day if you want to and enjoy it, and it sounds as if you do, hangovers excepted! Don't feel you 'should' do X or Y, just do what you feel is right, makes you both happy etc. IME 18month olds just do follow you around the whole time, unless you are at softplay or something.It's perfectly normal and not something they need training out of IME. By the time they are teens you'll hardly see them! Actually, by the time they are three-ish, they'd much rather go round to a friend's house to play. You had ONE DAY of feeling a bit ratty and tired! That's nothing. It certainly shouldn't make you reevaluate or judge yourself as a parent. Sounds to me like you are doing fabulously - just carry on!

Yes I found it incredibly boring.
Yesterday, chatting to my mum, I recalled the hrs I spent with ds (when he was around 18 months old) looking through the Yellow Pages. Yes: he enjoyed doing that. Hrs spent pointing at trucks and cars in the YP

Very reassuring of you once again, mabanana. Thank you!
Next time I go out I vow not to drink as much - and it wasn't even that bloody much! I'm just not used to it. Going to bed before 2am would also be a good idea.

I used to get very bored sometimes, especially with my 3rd, dd3. A year ago I was off work with her just one day a week and I got so bored I upped her childcare and went back to work for that extra day a week.

I feel a little bit guilty, on occasion, that I cracked after 7 years working part time and couldn't take even one day a week off alone with my last ever preschooler. But I was moaning about it and wasn't enjoying it and dd3 wasn't that happy either (she likes to be around other children).

They get easier to spend time with though, I am loving time with my dc now (8, 7 and 4). It's fun. Far less hard work and much more interesting.

The YP - that made me laugh, franca. Am sitting here sniggering in very quiet office.

As for teaching them/leaving them to play alone. Some do, some don't. my dd2 has never played alone. dd3 will but much prefers company. I see that as perfectly normal (but my solution is to socialise frantically when I'm looking after the dc, and put them in childcare if I run out of people to socialise with. We don't really do the 1-1 time in this house. Because IT'S BORING.

You lot sound so confident about your decisions about how you look after your children. Maybe confidence and lack of guilt comes when you have more than one DC!? Please tell me it does!