someone please help me..................please...........

[shhhh]

Im desperate,posted somewhere hre before but now im at the end and I can't cope or take any more......

dd is 3.6 yrs and potty trained snce early this year I think. No issues.

Till the time for pre school 3 months ago. Then started poo'ing around once a week..
Then "marking" her pants. Wee's are fine.

I broke down on monday with her in the toilet, I couldn't take any more.

Every night while im preparing dinner its the same.......for an hour its:
toilet,lounge,toilet,lounge,toilet till finally no more...each visit see's her sit on the toilet and either pass a penny size poo or notihing.
She has started asking for me to leave her..only for me to return and she's put her fingers into/on her bum to remove poo.(no idea where she got this idea from.) or wets a tissue to do it iykiwm. She ends up covered in poo and usually tries to wash her hands or wipes it onto the walls .

I have just started another episode tonight and im ashame to say I have smacked her . Please don't all shout me down etc BUT im at the end of things........seriously.

I took her to the gp on monday who has given movicol. She's has had the dose suggested for 3 days now and nothing.............

gp's says we need to break the cycle as seems she is witholding BUT how do I do it..............its depressing me,stressing me out and as I have a 20mth old ds (with hirschsprungs) I have little time or patience..

I want to walk away from everything. Silly as it may sounds...

dh working away alot atm.

Poor you.

You know you need to break the cycle and the easiest way mught be to put a nappy on her when she wants to do a poo. You control the cleaning up. No time pressure to do it and then try again in a week or so.

Is she upset with her Dad being away and this is her way of getting attention?

im lost..completly...
Im crying atm............

I hate being like this and its so not me, im usually confident and the one offering advice but I have had enough..

I said to her last night, I will put you into a nappy and you can poo when you want and she was like "fine" but today wanted pants..

can I put her back into nappies iykiwm...even though she is so far into pants wearing iykiwm...

She is daddy's girl and I get put to the bottom of the pile when dh comes home...she is the same with him atm BUT he has time and patience iykiwm..yes,she does miss him..

My 3 year old desperately wanted pants at night time and he was so insistant I let him as I thought, I never know, he might be dry. He wasn't, but a wet bed was fine to try.

Make it clear that if the same thing happens again you will put a nappy on for her to poo as it isn't nice for anyone to sit on the loo for 1 hour and then make a mess. She is old enough to know she shouldn't wipe poo on the walls and also stay with her so she can't make a mess.

Talk about how you both miss Daddy but won't it be a lovely surprise for when he comes home to see how she is a big girl now and can do poos on the toilet without any mess.

right,tonight before bed I am going to discuss her having a nappy tomorrow instead (is that right..) and I will say the bit about daddy...

See,the poo on the walls etc I don't think is intentional iykiwm...BUT I don't know why she is trying to touch her bum..maybe she is trying to remove it iykiwm....I tell her its dirty and disgusting but she just argues back...

Ok let me tell you me recent experience, and please accept massive hugs from me, cos its crap isnt it?

DD is 2.10 and started potty training in April and wees are brill- but she never really did a poo.........

Anyway cue last month when she was pooing in pants at least 12 time a day! it was a nightmare- lots of shouting on mybehalf and dd getting upset and having a very sore bottom

Took her to docs and did research on internet and basically the problem is called encppresis? or a blockage caused by constipation and all the soiling was the other poo leaking from behind it.

DD had no control of this- so we went back to pull ups, wee normal on toilet/potty but poos I told her to do it in nappy and took the pressure off her.

Gave her lactulose- no improvement
Senna- No improvment

Today we have been given movicol so hoping that works if not then I am asking for a referral to paeds at hospital.

Try not to loose your temper, and yes I know it is very hard not too- I can totally sympathise- I am 21 weeks pregnant and have the patience level of a gnat at the moment

Wait for the movicol to kick in, it may take few days afaik.

Hard esp when your dp is away.

Chin up
LM x

oh and the reason she is trying to put fingers is because it is so sticky and smooth (TMI) and gets stuck in her bits and wont fall into the toilet.

My dd woke up the other morning and changed herself before waking us up and there was poo everywhere

Today I told her to wake her dad up to change her

Okay shhhh there are issues here which we can separate out.

First: poo.

I wish that the dr had told me this when DS had a witholding poo problem last month - that the laxative will soften what is at the upper end of the poo blockage, but that you need to help the hard lump near the anus. Darling MNers told me to get glycerine suppostitories from the chemist - 92p for 12 I think - to soften the stool. DS was so frightened by the thought of pooing and pain. It took one suppository and we were away .. TMI coming up ...... poo running down his leg before he filled the pan with turds. Yay. Then kept on with the laxative on a reducing dose for a week til I was utterly sure that he was functioning.

Next: DH being away puts all the pressure onto you. Can you get help from friends or family to go out for a treat - the park/zoo/woods, you sound v lonely.

Finally: Smacking. I know you have had enough so I am not going to flame you.

This old parenting lark can really suck the life from one.

Boysarelikedogs

how do you get the suppositories in their bum ?

here's the thing.

Vinyl glove

Lie down child

Wet the pointy end

Pop in [screw eyes shut at this point]

Child is indignant even though you have explained

Poo happens

HTH

do I need to do this,even though she is now on Movicol?

I am sure she is touching her bottom as she can feel it hanging out but it isn't dropping into the toilet. If you gently separate the buttocks very slightly that may help. I think you need to stay with her so she can't do any of these things.

I would give her one more day in pants but make it quite clear that it is nappies if she can't manage to go on the loo. Make it seem like you are trying to help her rather than a punishment with the nappies.

I have to go now to sort out a 3 year old who won't stop showing his willy and touching Ds1's bum, and a 5 year old who is crying.

See, the Dr never said that the big lump of poo will hurt like billy-o, but it hurt him, and he held and held and held, in such pain.

I came on here asking for advice, so that he could pass the lump and start getting back to something like normal; and the suppository did the trick.

Part of it is showing the child that it does not hurt to poo, and to ensure that it does not hurt.

The pharmacist assured me that they do not do any harm and at that oiut I wantedto try anything to help poor little DS.

So, IME, try it. It can do no harm , and has potential to help solve a Big Problem.

at that POINT

sorry for wierdo typo there

You poor thing, this sounds extremely stressful for you. Can I second the glycerine suppositories advice? I had horrible constipation after dd was born, and was prescribed lactulose etc but it was definitely the bottom end (ha ha) that was causing the problem...the suppository did the trick within an hour. I definitely think this could be the reason the Movical isn't working.

thanks everyone....
just been trying to sort dd and ds (imnotmamag,you sound like you live here..)

Well the gp and pharmacist both said she is withholding and reason is coz it hurts and the pharmacist did say that movicol would clear everything behind iykiwm and not always the blockage but didn't suggest anything other than warm baths,tummy rubs,exercise and drinks...

So,tomorrow I need to:
Suppositries to try
Sit by the loo and wait....................
put her into knickers and suggest if things don't happen that she then has a nappy...

I think you are right about the poo touching bit,I can usually see a bit hanging down but never thought this was why..so to solve, part bum cheeks..righto..

See,tonight putting her to bed (all day in fact) she has pushed and pushed me and has been wild..
She has gone to bed minus a story and minus her dummy (both big things for her) as she's been awful. Screaming,throwing things,kicking etc.
She is usually well behaved 90% of the time BUT never like this. I wonder if the lack of poo is sending her over the edge..?

I feel bad for it and for smacking her earlier BUT I can't cope any more. Friends with lo's work so I am on my own iykiwm.
I have both sets of parents BUT imo it doesn't help as its still up to me to sort iykiwm and she wraps them around her little finger........MIL comments many a time "oh she is such a good little girl" .

Just checked your profile but unfortunately you aren't near me but you are near my oldest friend. She lives in L. D. Is it near you?

Im lost imnotmama...doesn't take much .
More hints.....

hi chicken ! poor you and poor DD

DD witheld poo when she was first out of nappies. i did put her back in a nappy to poo, it took an hour of her lying on the floor screaming to poo.. it was so enormous the back of her nappy and PJs was sticking out in a big lump .

phoned HV who recommended lots of fluid, so i let her have fizzy drinks etc.. to get fluid into her and lactulose, within a week she was pooing normally on the toilet and she was fine

she witheld one poo, and then got to afraid to poo, but the lactulose really helped.

also, i stayed with her in the bathroom, read to her, sang to her, pottered in and out doing laundry etc while she sat there, so the toilet was not a scary place

DH also not at home much and it does put a lot of pressure on

my smpathies and i hope things resolve soon x

Little D.....

Hi Lulu a friendly face.

See it seems its v common yet noon in rl seems to talk about it..I guess with ds having hirschsprungs poo is not a taboo subject in our home.

See, loads are saying they reverted back to nappies BUT dd's been out of them (still in one at night) for 10/11 months and I don't know if I will make more problems (although what can be worse than not poo'ing ) iykiwm...

ds's gp did give dd lactulose a few weeks ago when I spoke to him on the qt, maybe I try that instead as movicol seems to be crap..lol .

notmamag...email/CAT me x

DD was only back in a nappy for a day or two, just to poo in.. and very quickly, once she had done a lactulose poo, realsied that it did not hurt, and wanted to go on the loo

for the first few poos, we gave her a little reward and that seemed to help

whats the diff between lactulose and movicol...any ideas which is best..?
Do you think I try lactulose instead..?

Have CATTED you.

Imvho lactulose makes more water absorb into bowel and makes stools softer and easier to pass. It also takes about 5 days to work.

Movicol makes the bowel muscle move and push the poo out. Takes about 24 hours to work

Its the first line treatment at hospital refered cases following lactulose and senna.

Imvho both lactulose and senna will not really move a large blockage, but movical will.

Could be wrong- the sachet on the movicol reads as "treatment of constiptaion in children between 2 and 5 years will prob need treatment for 6 to 12 months.
This is because following a long bout of constipation, the bowel becomes distended and abnormally changes shape, and it needs time to get back to normal.

RE the nappy thing- its slioghtly different for your dd as I presume she is at pre school/nursery and may be more embarrassed about wearing nappies?? is that right?

For me dd is not even 3 yet, and although she is now back in nappies, it has not effected her weeing on the toilet, and has no ill effects with her peers etc, as most are not even toilet trained yet either- but it may become and issue next year when she enrols in nursery school- hence why I want this sorted now.

But if the above reasons dont concern you, then yes put her back in nappies, its easiar to clean up, and will take the pressure of your dd.

Hope it all works out

I just mean to put a nappy on the child when she knows she is about to go.