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Parenting

You only have to take the b***** doors off....

31 replies

whellid · 04/03/2003 11:22

Just wanted to know what was the stupidest piece of advice that anyone had had from so called experts.
I had a visit from my health visitor last week as my ds (14 months) has been to A&E twice recently - once from his childminders after cutting his head after falling over while pushing a walker around, and once with me after hitting his head and then vomiting on and off for
a few hours.
Anyway, hv comes round and sits there giving me a lecture about safety as ds throws himself round the room, and then after the usual stuff says 'and you should think about taking your doors off'.
I was stunned, not only had ds hit his head on the door frame rather than the door, but what a stupid thing to say. Surely if the doors need to be removed (and does that include the front door?!) then the walls are also dangerous! I couldn't believe she had actually said that, and it negated everything else she had said.

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oxocube · 04/03/2003 11:40

Whellid, silly cow (HV not you )

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katierocket · 04/03/2003 11:44

yeh and while you're at it you'd probably better cover the whole house in padding. Duh! how dim can you get! (HV not you

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Bozza · 04/03/2003 11:44

And what about anything else wooden in the house - bed, table, cot.... In fact Whellid, you shameful mother, why have you not just turned your house into a padded cell?

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SoupDragon · 04/03/2003 11:45

LOL!

And whilst you're at it, staple foam cladding to all your walls, skirting boards and door frames. Lay super-thick foam on the floor and wrap your child in bubble wrap (leaving holes to breath, eat and, erm, change nappies through.

Do these people have to train at all to do their job??

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Bozza · 04/03/2003 11:45

Cross posting katierocket but we are obviously in agreement!

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Bozza · 04/03/2003 11:46

And with you soupdragon.

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whellid · 04/03/2003 12:04

Exactly my response!
Every time ds hits into something now dh suggests we get rid of it! The floors are coming up at the moment as ds banged his head on the bedroom floor this morning!
We now live in a tent in the garden, but without the poles of course!

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Crunchie · 04/03/2003 12:17

Another family for the Yurt (see gf thread!)

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whellid · 04/03/2003 12:37

as long as there's no furniture in there.

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SnoobyKat · 04/03/2003 12:53

DS was born in France where the equivalent of a HV comes round a couple of weeks after you get home (more to check on your home than anything else). Fortunately they only come back on request as, after we had chatted for a bit, she came up with the following : "If he gets too hot, take a couple of layers of clothing off him....". OK I realise that I am 30-something, first-time mother and a computerfreak to boot but honestly...!!!

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CAM · 04/03/2003 13:14

Whellid obviously what you're doing wrong is letting your toddler toddle about! It's obvious you should keep him strapped down all day, making sure he can't reach anything nearby!

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hmb · 04/03/2003 13:32

jeez, what next? Radiators? Tables?

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Demented · 04/03/2003 13:44

Are all HVs nuts?

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whellid · 04/03/2003 13:46

She did tell me where I could buy foam!
I was really annoyed at the time, but after telling dh haven't been able to stop laughing about it

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breeze · 04/03/2003 13:59

Sorry, but I totally agree with the HV, Not really, she's barking. maybe she was born in a stable.

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Gizmo · 04/03/2003 14:03

That's given me a great new product idea - a toddler ball! Imagine a large inflatable hamster ball with appropriate cushioning and airholes, pop your child in, seal it up and let 'em roll!

Can't bump, can't fiddle, can't drown - I'm going to sell millions! And all to health visitors

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whellid · 04/03/2003 14:19

But don't use them upstairs Gizmo because since the doors have gone, to follow the logic so have the stairgates!
Really I should take the stairs out as well to be on the safe side!

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Gizmo · 04/03/2003 15:07

It's well known the government should be providing grants for all pregnant families to convert their houses into bungalows. I think you should lobby your health visitor about it

Or Yurts.

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SoupDragon · 04/03/2003 15:27

I put those little corner bumpers on our table when DS1 was small. He spent 20 minutes picking them off and then smacked his head on a corner.

Served him right!

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breeze · 04/03/2003 15:32

wellid, is there anyway you can print this thread and send it to your health visitor (anon of course)

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whellid · 04/03/2003 15:36

Breeze, the hv concerned job shares and this is the first time I have seen her. I was thinking of phoning the other hv who I have had contact with previously and got on with, and telling her what she said. Only problem is that I have got rid of the phone in case ds hits himself with it
And I think they might guess it's me, unless other people have kids who are regular visitors to the accident department!

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breeze · 04/03/2003 17:49

It is just kids, I mean my DS was up A&E 3 times in 6 months for falls and stuff. Typical boy, rushing around and falling over.

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WideWebWitch · 04/03/2003 21:10

What is she on?! I can't believe she told you where to buy foam as well. Barking!

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SofiaAmes · 04/03/2003 21:32

whellid, wow! Thank god we didn't need to take ds to the hospital everytime he whacked himself on something. He chipped his very first tooth crawling out the front door, then gave himself a nice egg crawling out the back door. Threw himself down the stairs with his toys twice. Gave himself a black eye at the childminders when he tripped coming in from the garden. That was all in his first 12 months. At 27 mo. he continues to do his best to damage himself daily as most boys do. The childminder is on holiday this week and so far under my care he has tried to skateboard on a toy car and smashed his chin and bit his tongue (day 1) and tripped over and put an egg on his forhead (day 2). I don't know who left me in charge but it probably wasn't a good idea. But I do have to add that he has never had an accident involving a door.

p.s. I'm dying to know why she suggested taking the doors off...could you find out for us.

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whellid · 04/03/2003 22:20

If I hadn't been so surprised by what she said I'd have quizzed her further, instead I'd had enough and got her out as quickly as possible.
She did start by pointing out that our doors are very solid! If ds had hit his head on the door it may have made a fraction more sense, but as it was the door frame it is just plain bonkers.
Anyway, been freezing tonight with the front and back door off!

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