When a kid gains a 'reputation' at school, is there any way back?

[MrsSnape]

DS is sobbing is heart out. Says he is constantly getting shouted at during school. If a group of them are fighting, DS gets the blame for all of it. At assembly time he is seperatd from all of his friends and has to sit with a teacher BEFORE he's done anything wrong.
During class he is seperated from his friends and has to sit at the front with the teacher on his own INCASE he distracts the others.

And this is the best one ... On a friday when a certain teacher goes in, DS is sent to work in the coridoor on his own BEFORE he does anything wrong so that she can work with the others 'in peace'.

I know he can be a pain but I know for a fact he's not the worst kid in the school or in his class.

The other day there was an incident involving a boy in the toilets. Basically a kid was in a cublicle and a big group of boys were banging on the door and shouting at him and made him cry. DS WAS THERE. I'm not denying that but when I was discussing it with the head she said "he was very quick to tell me that the others had done it rather than taking responsibilty for his own actions" ... and the kid sat on the toilet had even said it wasn't DS!! he was just there at the time.

He's getting told off and isolated every 5 minutes and I know he's not making it up because a lot of it happens under my nose.

A couple of weeks ago for instance there was a row in the playground with a group of parents and I heard DS's name mentioned. Basically a 3 year old lad had been punched in the face and one of the boys said it was my DS. So the parents go in guns blazing complaining about DS before the 3 year old turned around and said "it wasn't him! it was (kid who'd blamed DS!). So what happened....both DS AND this other kid got into trouble for it but basically, the lad blamed DS because he knew full well the teachers would believe him.

I'm starting to wonder if there is any way back from this it makes me so sad to think of him sitting in a coridoor on his own whilst all the other kids get to work together inside.

I'm sorry to say it, but this school sound as if they exist in some sort of educational backwater - their attitude to a child on SA+1 is designed not to encourage and foster confidence, but to do whatever causes them least bother. I can't work out if they really haven't got the idea of what SA+ entitles a child to or whether they have just been inept at explaining their approach to you and your son - but I suspect the former actually. And as for that school assembly example, I'm just

Are there any other schools in the area he might be happier at, or is this your only choice?

What is School Action?

The school must tell you when they think that your child has special educational needs. At this point, you may want to contact the Parent Partnership Service, who can give you lots of information and try to answer any questions you have.

Your child?s teacher or the SENCO will collect information about your child. This can include additional information from you and other people who work with your child. They will discuss with you what extra or different help your child needs. This is called School Action.

The school will write an Individual Education Plan (IEP) for your child. The IEP will include information about:

the three or four short-term targets for your child (small steps that your child can achieve)
what special help will be given
how often your child will receive the help
who will provide the help
how and when your child?s progress will be checked
what help you can give your child at home
Your child?s teacher or the SENCO will discuss the IEP with you. You can ask for a copy of the IEP if the school has not given you one.

The school will review the IEP at least twice a year and ideally termly. Wherever possible the school will include your child in the review process and setting of new targets. If your child is not involved directly then his or her views should still be considered.

Sometimes the school will decide not to write an IEP but to keep the record in another form. They should always tell you how they are helping your child and what progress he or she is making. The school should also explain why they have not written an IEP.

School Action will continue until your child no longer needs this help or it is clear that he or she needs support at School Action Plus.

What is School Action Plus?

If there are concerns that the progress your child is making with support at School Action is not adequate, the SENCO will ask your permission to seek further advice from external support services. They may want to ask for help from, for example, a specialist teacher, an educational psychologist, a speech and language therapist or other health professional.

The SENCO will usually develop a new Individual Education Plan (IEP) based on this advice. You will continue to be involved, and the school will regularly record and review your child's progress, just as they did at School Action.

School Action Plus will continue as long as your child needs this help. If your child does not make progress, you and the school can ask the Local Education Authority for a statutory assessment.

Thanks for the info Heated. It's so frustrating because everytime I ask for an update they react as if I'm an OTT parent wanting all the attention. I've had no meetings at all with SENCO, the IEPs are just handed out during consultation evening...

Unfortunately, to move one child to another school would mean moving them both and DS1 is in year 5 which I think is too late to change now really

I'd still look tbh. It's a long time to be unhappy at school & there are much better schools out there as Retiredgoth1 described.

If you are resolved to stick with the school then unfortunately you are going to need to know your SN stuff, since it sounds like you are going to have to go looking for the provision & possible educate them, rather than as it should be, which is for it automatically put in place.

Someone before (sorry can't remember your MN name!) mentioned the parentpartnership who would be well worth a phone call. Also, I don't know if the parent partnership offer this but the alternative can be to find an advocate who knows about SN entitlement and who would go into school meetings with you.

sorry, that should have said: educate the school...