How much,if any support do you get?

[Bonnycat]

From family and friends?
Just curious really-my mum helps out a couple of hours a week now she has retired and babysits when we ask if she can but has her own life /plans of course too.
I dont EXPECT anyone to help as it was our choice to have them.

None except dh. We've had 1 evening out in 14 months when ds was in bed and mil came round and watched the baby monitor. Won't do it again as we came back and the monitor was switched down so sound off and she was asleep in the sofa.

My Mum lives round the corner but has never been able to cope with the DC's and has now got to the stage where she needs a fair bit of support. But we do have lovely neighbours who will help if needs be, though I try to keep it to emergencies. And also friends who will rally round when needed.

Dp is good, usually does the bathing and homework when he comes home from work and looks after dd's most of 1 day at the weekend then we share the rest of the weekend this is usually so I can clean/ do paperwork/ go food shopping.

My family are good especially my mum shepicks dd up from school a couple of times a week and comes round to see me and is usually helpful while she's here. My mum also takes dd's away for the weekend a couple of times a year too.

My dad has dd's once in a blue moon for a few hours.

Pil quite often have dd's overnight and have taken them on holidays.

Overall we get quite a bit of help and we're very grateful!

Practically none.

DP does what he can, which is very little TBH. He gets up with DD one morning most weekends and helps with tidying up after dinner most evenings that he's at home.

My mum is still in the UK and is a lot of work doesn't help when she comes to visit. PIL are great but live an hour and a half away and are bringing up my niece (7) so aren't able to offer any practical help.

I don't really know anyone where I live so there are no friends/neighbours that can have her for an hour / drop round for a bit of company (or whatever) on an ad hoc basis.

I do have a cleaner 3 hours a week though and DD goes to nursery one day a week (the day that I work).

2 boys - 6yo and 2.9y. Live alone with the boys, their dad (we split about 7mo ago) has then overnight once in the week and overnight for a 24 hour period every weekend.
So - I get the support of their dad having them.
And my parents help alot, my mum looks after them 3 days a week while I work and are always about when I need them.

None at all. Just me and the kids.
Don't even see family over Christmas!

I have to work part time as it's the only way I can cope with kids' hospital and dental appointments.

Its hard. Kid moan that I'm irritable sometimes.

Just me and DH. Parents and ILs both about 100 mile away (in different directions). Pay for 3 days a week of nursery so I can work and, through the wonders of MN, found a marvellous babysitter locally, so get one night a week 'off'. It's expensive but has made such a difference to both of us. It's going to get a lot harder once #2 arrives though.

On a day to day basis, not much.

My parents are too far away / too busy. When we've needed help FIL and step MIL are a great help- collected DS1 is the middle of the night when i was in labour with DS2, took me for a scan when our car had broken down.

They also have DS1 overnight maybe once a month (because they ask and love having him) and will soon be having them both overnight for the 1st time.

They also babysit for us if we ask, but that's once a month if that.

None except for dh. Parents live abroad and only see them twice a year. In-laws dead except for bil who would look after lo about once every month/two months so me and dh can get a night out together. My sis would occassionally look after ds for an hour or two but as she's only 20 isn't interested/confident enough to look after him for a longer period of time.

My DH and I work in partnership.

We have a fantastic friend who helps out lots, she will hang my washing up while I make a cuppa (often before I have even seen her do it!), or spin the hoover round while I make lunch. She spoils DD, spends time with her, talks to and about her. She babysits. Not too often that we take the pee, but enough that it helps us. For example this evening, two of our close friends (not hers) are having a jont hen/stag do as they are getting married quietly next week. They live 1.5 hours away. My friend is babysitting, going to put DD to bed, and stay the night. We will get back in the wee hours. She has no children herself yet.

Another friend was very supportive until she had her own baby a few weeks ago and was v ill. So not surprisingly she is a bit busy.

Other friend's too busy with either their own family or their own social lives.

Family. None. All live in USA, or in Yorkshire. Hardly see them. My parents are dead.

me none either.

me and dh.

wont go on about the fact that we have pil and i ahve a mum and dad 5 mins away but we never see them & they never offer. We never ask becuase we dont want to put on them.

Penthesileia I know what you mean, absolutely .
I don't think you came across as more hard done etc. Incidentally I was recently speaking with a dear friend of mine, who lost her mother when she was only 12, and she was telling me how the birth of her first dd had made her miss her mother more than usual.
Anyway, if you are in need of a laugh you can youtube nanni moretti, there's loads!

On a day to day basis it's just me and dh, but once in a while we will visit my dad and stepmum and stay with them for an extended weekend, they love having the kids over and will have the baby in their room for a night so me and dh can get a fullnight sleep, and every so often my mum will have my son for a few days in the school holidays, she is taking him for the halfterm week. We don't allow our daughter to stay away as at 10 mths old we think she's too young (thats just our opinion)

Its just me and DH, although he leaves for work at 7.30am and is back in time for the DCs' bedtime if we are very lucky. His parents are too old and too far away to help, my mum has dementia and my dad is too busy with her. In the nearly 7 years that we have had the DCs we have never had a night away from them, only go out together very occasionally as babysitters are so expensive. Feel a bit when I see friends who have mums around to help, pick up the kids from school etc and have them overnight. Sorry that there are so many of us in the same boat, but it does make me feel a bit better that I am not the only one!

Not much apart from me and dp. My mum lives just up the rd and would help if we asked but she has 4 children under 16 so has her hands full really. MIL has just started having 2 yr old ds for a few hrs each wk and for tea, so gives us a break as we also have 9 wk old baby and dp has 12 yr old dd. We are building up for ds being able to stay the night at MIL's soon.

Wow im surprised so many of us are in the same boat, in RL i seem to be surrounded by people who have tonnes of support from their families.

Well, bonnycat, I suppose the reason a lot of us are on MN is because we lack the support and comradeship of a family in RL.

I have no parents, and dh's parents are a)old and b)show a complete lack of interest in anything except themselves. Bitter, moi?

I too get tearful sometimes and feel so envious of people with lots of help, and as someone said further up, just to have a mum to pop round to for a cup of tea would be wonderful.

When my DDs were younger my Mum helped out a lot with school runs etc when I was at Uni and also ex-ILs would (still do) have them for a week in the summer holidays. I don't think I appreciated fully how much that support helped me out. Ex dh no support at all in any shape or form.

With DS I have no support (apart from DDs who are lovely with him). Mum and stepdad now too old and live too far away. One of my sisters is great and I know she loves me and cares about me and she and her DP 'look out' for me but they are very busy with their own family. Rest of family live too far away and all have busy lives anyway and DSs father and family have never seen him. In fact his family dont even know he exists.

He's almost 22 months and I'm beginning to feel a bit run down. I'd love a day off. Well, a few hours would do - I'd miss him too much

I feel very lucky - my mum lives close by and would hang out with my 2yr old forever if she could..xx