Ok, I NEED to know, do you tidy your dc's bedrooms or make them do it ?? Plus HOW can I stop the mess

[IllegallyBrunette]

I have Dd1(10), Dd2(8) and Ds(5).

Currently I aks Ds to put toys away, he kind of flings them in the right direction and I do the rest, so his room is generally ok most of the time.

Dd1 is currently living in a shit hole to be frank. She has a small room, with bed, wardrobe, chest of drawers and desk. Her bed is a divan with storage section underneath.
The state of her room is a constant sore point between us with her argument being, that if it is all on the floor, then at least she knows where it is.
My argument, is that things get lost and broken because of the state of her room.
My mum thinks that dd should be made to help tidy it, but that I should keep it up.

Dd2 has a big room with bed, huge wardrobe, shelf unit and chest of drawers, but her is also messy, although not to the extent of dd1.
Dd2 loves books and so they are everywhere, on the shelves, in her bed, all over the floor, all over the window sill etc. She also still has alot of toys which I think she is now getting too old for ie pram, dolls dolls and more dolls.
My mum also thinks that I should tidy dd2's room to keep the peace and save on arguments.

As it is at the mo I nag, they moan and pick a couple of things up and thats it, so I nag some more. Occasionally I will give in and clear the whole room out on the understanding that they keep it up, and they don't. Dd1's room can go from pristine to a bomb site within 24 hours.

I have taken to just shutting the doors on their rooms as I don't want to look at it.

Both have left for school this morning with their blinds still shut, lights on and floors covered.

Is there a secret to finding a happy medium ?

IB - the rooms don't look that messy.

You can SEE the floor in those pictures, It has just taken me three hours and I still cant see the floor in dds room can I exchange?

Have to agree btw, they don't look that bad, have definitely seen a lot worse.

The first thing that strikes me when looking at the pictures of your DDs' rooms is that your DD1's room is really very small and her storage systems are not very efficient. Chests of drawers are a nightmare for children IMVHO. But in general I don't like the look of the furniture - it definitely isn't what I would have chosen - and I think this may be a huge part of the problem. Certainly when we sorted out the furniture in my DSSs' room, the mess disappeared very quickly.

i do dd2s and dd3s (6 and 2)

dd1 (9) keeps hers very tidy

I actively enjoy tidying dd2's so I suspect I will carry on doing it for AGES

Agree with you Enid - I love a lazy morning playing with DD's toys tidying DD's bedroom.

yes I particularly enjoy arranging the playmobil people into jolly scenes chucking all her playmobil in its box

I really like playing with rearranging my her dolls house

I am not 100% sure what you mean by 'I don't like the look of the furniture' Anna.

It is a wardrobe and chest of drawers, which she has to have for her clothes, so I am a bit puzzled. It is crap in terms of that it could of been made by a 2yr old though, I agree with that LOL.

Her room being small is a problem, but I cannot fit anymore storage in there.

She did used to have one of those high sleepers to give her more floor space, but she didn't like it as it was a tad wobbly, and I hated it because it was a pain in the arse to make the bed. Plus her room was still untidy anyway.

Any suggestions for how the space in dd1's room could be used then ?? Bearing in mind I am broke the majority of the time.

You could put one of these either between the wardrobe and chest of drawers or between the chest of drawers and other unit (cd rack?). That would give you 5 neatly stored baskets to keep things in.

If that's too much expenditure, what about a shelf mounted on the wall where she can easily reach it? You could then put baskets on the shelves (Oh God - I sound like Anthea Turner don't I?!)

Maybe a couple of shelves above the desk would help as well and you could put one of those hanging pocket things on the back of the door for storing smaller things in.

My daughter doesn't have a chest of drawers and never will do (nor will my stepsons). They don't have wardrobes, either. They have open hanging systems, and open shelving, and hooks, that are much more user friendly . Basically I try to avoid folding clothes as much as possible as I think it is a complete waste of time and hard for children to manage piles of clothing - hooks and hangers are much easier.

I am not sure that an open hanging system would help dd or me tbh, so I think we will have to stick to her wardrobe for now.

The chest of drawers is rubbish (falling apart), so I could replace that with shelves but then where would I put the clothes from the chest of drawers ??

I like unit you linked to moosemama, not too pricey either really.

My DD8 and I have had a constant battle with reguard to the state of her room, she has loads of storage but still either shoves stuff under the bed or on her desk however she's been pestering about pocket money for ages so two weeks ago I wrote a list and said if each thing on the list was done she'd get 40p, we only do it mon-fri so max she gets £2.00 so far her rooms been done every day.

DS 4 is really tidy, don't know where he gets it.

We have 2 of the £49 units stood upright and fixed to the wall. Can't see the baskets we have on the website, but they still had them in the store when we went recently. Can't remember exactly but I think they were about £6 each and they hold a lot of 'stuff'.

As I said with the baskets, even if everything has been put in the wrong place, at least the room 'looks' tidy and that helps to preserve my sanity.

Agree with others that their rooms don't look that bad.
I struggle with this one - in principle, I think that it is DD's space (she's 6) and she should be allowed to keep it how she wants. She is pretty good about keeping her mess in her space, and not leaving stuff in the sitting room.
On the other hand . . . basically she makes more and more mess until she can't actually play with anything any more, and then she sits on the sofa & complains that she is bored. By which point of course DH and I are fed up, and tidying up turns into a battle.
In general, I just give up and tidy up when she isn't around, mostly so I can throw away 90% of the clutter, which is mostly bits of tree, stones, cut up bits of paper and random tat.
The other thing I struggle with is DH's insistence on providing super organised categories - I reckon that if putting away the lego involves sorting it all into different types of bricks, in a compartmentalised tray its much less likely to happen than if all DD has to do is shove it in a big box. DH is convinced that it is then impossible to use to build anything . . .

I am fussy about things going in certain boxes, instruments all in one, toy tools all in another, etc as it is much easier for the children or me to find when they want something. I do think Lego should just all be in one place though if you have a box which makes a plane or a truck then maybe they could be in the original box. Other than that, get your DH to sort them!

I think the bedrooms look fine. They look like the bedrooms of kids who enjoy playing.

when I was little I used to get really distracted reading old Bunty comics etc instead of cleaning. I liked it if my mum helped me, but with no judgement and no sweeping stuff off my chest of drawers, breaking my beautiful shell night light with pixie on toadstool inside sob.....

IB, ds1's room is the bane of my life. He will argue for hours about tidying.

I've put a photi on my profile of it, Its ds1s version of tidy.
He said before school that it was tidy, and that what how I found it.
The photo doesn't show the dirty pants and socks littered all over the place and all left over bits of biscuits/chocolate/crisps which he isn't allowed to eat upstairs.

I despair if it TBH.

Lego isn't just about following the instructions. Especially when you are 6. It is also about creating something new.

Of course if your DD is complaining that she can't find a particular crucial element then she might be motivated to sort them out more!

it also doesn't show all the crap he stuffs under teh bed, all the stuff he piles up under the desk.
The room desparately need decorating but Dh has told him it snot getting done before he starts to keep it even remotley tidy.

(BTW I took the photos a few days ago, justto prove to ds1 that he's room has beena tip all day)

Suggestions (which I would do well to heed myself )

• if at all possible, have more storage space than stuff to fill it with: it's far harder to stay in control when you're overstocked. Do a big serious clear-out (by yourself) of each room until there are gaps in the shelves/cupboard/drawers

• insist on the nursery school rule of Put The Last Toy Away Before You Get Out The Next One. (Though last time I reminded dd of this she did a dramatic sigh & said "But Mummy the whole point is I want to see everything I've got which is about cats")

• build in good time in your/their lives to do the tidying: tidying in a rush tends to result in horrid secreted middens which have to be completely excavated & re-tided. Also having to tidy at the tired-out end of a day makes for fights

I really like the idea of an "I don't know where it goes" basket. I think I will take that advice!

Oh - to answer your first question, whether they or I do the tidying depends on the tidying intervention level:

• twice-a-year radical turn-out: me by myself over a couple of days or however long it takes

• every-few-weeks restoring of basic order: me in charge, them as helpers

• daily floor-clearing: their job

I am quite forgiving of extended games - there is one going on on the dining room table at the moment involving a wooden stable, a wooden turret, three generations of Swiss dolls and chalet furniture, a set of dolls house garden toys, a landrover and horsebox and an awful lot of assorted Schleich animals... I wouldn't dare touch it