How do you work full time when the children start school?

[mummyclare]

It's a year off for us but I've been panicking for some time. We have had luxury of workplace nursery so far. I am going to try to reduce my hours - but that's only going to help with some drop-offs and pick ups and will do nothing for hols. Also local playscheme takes from 5. So what are you meant to do when they're still 4?

Help please. All ideas warmly welcomed.

Well I'm seriously considering about giving up and staying at home...I'm happy to fight on for a bit but if it never gets better I'm not sure I could live with how bitter I'd become - its already starting to affect our hoem life quite significantly.

I think sisterhood only works when you're in v similar places in life - otherwise it seems all about defending your life choices!

Its a shame though - with a bit more teamwork I think most of these issues could be resolved. Especially if we attempt bring up sons with a better attitude. My biggest fear about giving up work is that I don't want my DS to think thats what should happen.

I may well attempt to join the ranks of 'mumpreneurs' and start a home business. Trouble is that just propogates the notion that mothers can't hack it in the workplace.

On a much more positive note - I have a close friend who is training to be a consultant paedetrician (now on a p/t basis) and her employers seem to be far more reasonable. So there is hope for your DD!

I have 2 pre schoolers and have been fretting about whether to return to work as I dont know how I would fit everything in. Looks like its set to get worse once DD starts school (18 months after I return from mat leave). Time to have a rethink..........

childminder
after-school club
a reasonably supportive workplace

I am actually finding this even more terrifying than I was just 2 weeks ago!! Like many DS is starting school next Spetember.

Everyone is talking about getting OH to cover as well, but what happens when you are a single parent? I may be able to get him to take a week or two off for hols, but other than that ... no chance.

I work FT cos I have to pay a mortgage and rent. I am starting to feel that looking at a private school round corner that are open prvate nursery hours might not be so stupid ... Do you get tax credits towards school fees?

I read this with great interest, although I skimmed a lot 'cause it's 10pm ish and really I should be sleeping! My DD is now 14 yrs old. I went back to work when she was 4 months old. I was then a single parent. I had mortgage, bills etc that we all know. I chose this step, and it was tough in the begining, because I wanted (and continue) to be a good role model for my DD. My ex, her Dad, has been on the dole ALL his life and she sees the sharp contrast between what a working life can give (and take) and what another route, if we choose, can take. This is not much help for any if you panicking! But I wanted to say, they survive, they accept, and we cope. Remember to plan and try not to let that guilt get the better of you (days it will). Seek others in your workplace in the same situ. Use what ever the people you work for offer (flexi, home working etc) and make it work FOR YOU. Finally.. don't be a super mum. You can not do everything. Oh.. and just look at this topic.. we're not alone.

Private schools normally have longer hours for child care - but you will pay and no you do not get tax credit (wishful thinking!) but always push the single parent thing. I even got discounts at my hairdressers! Make sure you have a good support network, especially for those days when child is sick.. try to keep holiday days, for holiday.

I could go on and on...! I still work full time, I had to have a hold on my career mentally, but now I'm picking it up again. I still have 25 years of work (OMG!!) nuff said. Hope this helps anyone. Need sleeeeppp...

Sage advice Jacally. I think you are absolutely right about using what is offered at work and making it work for you.

It is really good to read this. Being a real career-minded person I was taken by surprise to find how hard it was. I love working. But I also love my child. So I was even more surprised to find myself giving up work. It's such a relief to know I am not a weakling who just couldn't hack it.

My husband is in a 12+ hours job, and earns twice my salary, and has a traditional outlook on life. Considering all that, he really did his bit when I worked full-time and we had a nanny. Then I was made redundant (and frankly, ready to give up myself anyway, too much stress from ...well...see above).

Now I love running my own web-community www.mumandcareer.co.uk (helping mums combining career and children) and being there for my son. My husband loves our reasonably stress-free house. And I meet many, many other women who have had high-flying careers and now have created their own flexible job, working free-lance or running their own company. Which also helps to make me feel better about losing the career. Remind me, why did I ever think a career was so important? (sorry, not trying to offend anyone who has no choice financially, like most of us I guess) Just sharing my story.