Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

How do you work full time when the children start school?

182 replies

mummyclare · 24/09/2008 10:47

It's a year off for us but I've been panicking for some time. We have had luxury of workplace nursery so far. I am going to try to reduce my hours - but that's only going to help with some drop-offs and pick ups and will do nothing for hols. Also local playscheme takes from 5. So what are you meant to do when they're still 4?

Help please. All ideas warmly welcomed.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Anna8888 · 24/09/2008 14:12

That's because politicians are either men or women aping men and they are in complete and utter denial about the myriad tasks and chores that domestic life and the upbringing of children entail.

mummyclare · 24/09/2008 14:13

In all likelihood the politicians don't realise that this is what we're up against.

OP posts:
Issy · 24/09/2008 14:24

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Marina · 24/09/2008 14:24

This all sounds depressingly familiar
We are doing 2 x everything at the mo, plus a pile of open days for secondary transfer for ds, plus both bluffing our way nervously through middle managerial posts in HE. I once sorted out a major systems failure via text while at Cubs frogs, I know the feeling.
It can be done mummyclare, but truth to tell, I'd not put yourself through it unless you have no alternative (ie, compressed hours, jobshare etc)
We use holiday playschemes but not for weeks at a time. Your child will come back with some useful new vocabulary and covered in glue/sand/icing.
At the risk of opening a whole new strand to this so far unified discussion, we actually went private to get round such issues as graduated starts, half-days and lack of after-school provision.
We had many other reasons for choosing the school, but its ability and willingness to support working parents in the same way as daycare did pre-school, was a helpful extra that we now see with hindsight we could not have managed without. We did not have available, willing grandparents initially (my parents moved to be near us but are now too tottery except for emergencies).
It probably marks me out as clinically insane but actually I do volunteer at the school, on a regular basis. I run an after-school club. I love doing it, so it is possible if you can wangle those flexible hours in your day job.

motherinferior · 24/09/2008 14:30

The father of my children still secretly thinks, I suspect, that life would be frightfully simple if I opted for a five day a week job.

mummyclare · 24/09/2008 14:31

To be honest Marina I am going to be applying for part time work before she starts school. I don't know what I'll be able to negotiate but at least need to know what I want as an ideal to start the negotiations. I have been wondering about trying for 2.30pm finishes on 4 days with late finish thurs- because have to. However this leaves all the holidays unresolved.

There is a private school near work which does fantastic care re hours but is too expensive for us.

OP posts:
mummyclare · 24/09/2008 14:32

MI- it probably would be for him

OP posts:
Anna8888 · 24/09/2008 14:32

MI - why is that? Does he think that you would have some kind of nanny/housekeeper/chauffeur to pick up all the pieces?

Pamina · 24/09/2008 14:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

motherinferior · 24/09/2008 14:39

No, Clare, it wouldn't, because when I do work OTH he does the early shift: he's just finished 14 months of leaving home at 7am, cycling to work and leaving at 4.30 to pick up the kids, three days a week. He's only able to do evening stuff on those three for the past month - his life is considerably easier when I work based from home!

On the other hand, Anna, yes it's very much what he's used to - he comes from an ayah-ed-up background, his parents both worked with the help of aforementioned ayahs, and he doesn't really see after-school club in a different light. And the fact that we had the most excellent childminder for ages also reinforces this belief, even though we're not actually using her any more.

Marina · 24/09/2008 14:40

LOL pamina we have similar issues with Thursday afternoon/evenings...and guess what

Bridie3 · 24/09/2008 14:42

Yes, it's the homework which is the killer. If you have two, each doing at least 40-60 minutes, perhaps with vocab. which needs testing, or a project that needs you to do a Blue Peter Presenter job on, that's when life becomes a mite frantic.

Then there's piano practice, etc.

And people will expect a cooked supper! I'm like a dervish between 3.30 and 8.30--testing French words, finding glue sticks, feeding dogs, peeling pianos, helping with maths...

Bridie3 · 24/09/2008 14:43

It is the peeling pianos bit which is the real cause of evening stress.

mummyclare · 24/09/2008 14:43

I've got to learn how to peel a piano now too!

OP posts:
bran · 24/09/2008 14:45

You know, I'm feeling so much better about being a SAHM of one school-aged child. Although it is a bit feast or famine, when I was working it was all a bit fraught but now I literally loll around for most of the day. Sometimes I MN and the rest of the day I pretty much waste my time.

HuwEdwards · 24/09/2008 14:46

I work from home and my DD2 came into where I work (laughingly called 'the office') crying silently with tears running down her face.

She wanted to tell me she'd hurt herself (minor, but painful stubbing if toe) but knew I was on a conference call.

Obviously, somehow I got cut off from the call....

Bridie3 · 24/09/2008 14:46

They're so darn big...

NormaSnorks · 24/09/2008 14:46

Right, we need to capitalise on this wealth of expertise with a separate thread entitled something like "Secret strategies for working mums with school-age kids.."

Shall I start it?

Bridie3 · 24/09/2008 14:48

Off you go!

LadyMuck · 24/09/2008 15:05

I had the best job ever: well-paid, very flexible, stimulating, and all my colleagues appreciated that I was working around kids. I packed it in when I was on the runway at London City realising that whilst my children were being looked after that night, had someone taking them to school the next morning, would be picked up by the nanny that evening, there was a 3 hour gap between nanny leaving and me returning home which I had managed to leave uncovered. What was more I wasn't even going to be able to start phoning around for help for another hour or two until I landed.

I don't think that teachers deliberately make it more difficult - but many of them are actually in the same boat. I currently love ds2's young single teacher who says " I know that that the parents evenings appointments only go up until 7:30 but if that is still a struggle let me know and I can book a later one". But all of our other teachers have been working parents themselves, and whilst their holiday cover may be easier they still have before and after school issues of their own (cue their children sitting in the classroom next door whilst parents evenings go on). But in fairness they have always recognised those looks of panic in our eyes as we realise that we have forgotten mufti day/to return the class/mascot etc, and do do their best to help.

I think that NormaSnorks put her finger on it - your children are older, are more capable of expressing their needs, wants and preferences, and are also more exposed to how other families operate. It is a bit easier if you manage to find a school where many of the parents are in a similar boat.

NormaSnorks · 24/09/2008 15:06

whoops - have to go to preprae for my "3.25 conference call "

LilyDale · 24/09/2008 15:12

Interesting, LadyMuck - I too had a fab job which I loved but one day I was sitting in a meeting when I suddenly realised I hadn't seen my son for 3 days (and I was only travelling around the UK!!).

My current job is much more flexible - I am supposed to be working from home at the moment!

Grammaticus · 24/09/2008 15:17

Frogs - so, so true, you have made me ROFL - you should definitely have quote of the week.

hotmama · 24/09/2008 15:20

Well, I am supposed to be working at home - but I have got engrossed in this thread - oops - will need to do some work tonight now when the dd's are in bed!

This thread is incredibly honest and helpful - and is confirming what I have thought - that dc's at nursery is dead easy compared to them being at school.

Dd1 starts school in September - "luckily" I am pregnant with dc3, so will be on maternity leave for dd1's first term.

I need to start thinking about my flexible working options now so I know what to do in time for Jan 2010 when I go back to work. Luckily, I work in a LA and deal with schools so having school holidays off won't be a problem - didn't think about all the meetings during the school day! Hey ho!

Keep the advice coming!

frogs · 24/09/2008 16:04

Someone sent me this as a jokey email a few weeks ago, which sums it all up very nicely.

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports
and either take music or dance classes.

There is no fast food.

Each man must
take care of his 3 kids;
keep his assigned house clean ,
correct all homework,
and complete science projects,
cook, do laundry,
and pay a list of 'pretend' bills
with not enough money.

In addition, each man
will have to budget in money
for groceries each week.

Each man
must remember the birthdays
of all their friends and relatives,
and send cards out
on time--no emailing.

Each man must also
take each child to a doctor's appointment,
a dentist appointment
and a haircut appointment.

He must make
one unscheduled and inconvenient
visit per child
to the Accident and Emergency department.

He must also
make cookies or cupcakes
for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for
decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside
and keeping it presentable
at all times.

The men will only
have access to television
when the kids are asleep
and all chores are done.

The men must
shave their legs,
wear makeup daily,
adorn himself with jewelry,
wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes,
keep fingernails polished
and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks,
the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, back aches,
and have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or
slow down from other duties.

They must attend
weekly school meetings,
church, and find time
at least once to spend the afternoon
at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to
read a book to the kids
each night and in the morning,
feed them, dress them,
brush their teeth and
comb their hair by 7:30 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:
each child's birthday,
height, weight,
shoe size, clothes size
and doctor's name.
Also the child's weight at birth,
length, time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child's favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear and
what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island
based on performance.
The last man wins only if...
he still has enough energy
to be intimate with his spouse
at a moment's notice.

If the last man does win,
he can play the game over and over
and over again for the next 18-25 years
eventually earning the right
To be called Mother!

After you get done laughing,
send this to as many females as you
think will get a kick out of it and
as many men as you think can
handle it.
Just don't send it back to me....I'm going to bed.