Do you need to be a fat arsed frump when you have kids?

[chelsygirl]

I know you don't, but I've just had my hip young neice to visit and God I feel old

Should I give up now?

elmoandella -
I don't think us un-made-up, messy haired, jeans and t-shirt Mums are lazy or lacking in pride. We just have different priorities, life would be boring if we were all the same.
I enjoy SOMETIMES making an effort to look nicer, but simply have more important (to me) things to do most days!

I've never understood the whole grooming thing. It seems like so much bollox to me. What person in their right mind wants to wear nylon tights round their genitals ? Or push up bras ? Or high heeled shoes ? Or paint stuff on their face ? How hideously uncomfortable. I really distrust people who are "done up" - Why ? I've never understood it and I never will.

I am very, very scruffy. I have hair down to my thighs because I can't be arsed to cut it off. I live in fatigues and t shirts (and more often just T shirt and pants at home ). DS doesn't care what I look like. He loves me as long as I'll dance with him /read to him. breastfeed him / play with him / sleep with him or whatever is required. DH loves me obviously and unconditionally. I'm right glad I'm me

I look like crap most of the time, and dd usually covers me in snot/toast two minutes before we leave the house.

I miss my pre-dd self. I just went on a hen night with lots of gorgeous young girls and felt like a million dollars when one of them said she liked my dress.

Pathetic really.

elmo is like most mothers of babies who don't sleep. I am sure I was the same at that point. You are just too exhausted almots to eat some days. You often don't even get 5 mins to go to the loo without a child there and I certainly remembering when we had 3 under 4 years and both worked full time having a shower every other day as there just wasn't the time to do it every day. When you have the non sleeping children as I did and I mentioned above, then life is about survival and getting through each day rather than how you look.

Once they sleep it's all much easy. Sleep in fact is the one thing that actually improves you looks and health most. You fight germs when asleep and your skin is helped and you look better. It's the best investment you can make in your looks. When the twins were babies I used to take them to the gym in Saturday afternoon put them in the creche and then have a quick sauna and then sleep for an hour. Nothing I could have done at that gym could have done me more good than that sleep.

But now the youngest at 9 it's entirely different.

Now
Now snippety raises the very interesting issues and arguably the true feminist position as well. So why do I wear high heels? When I was in Frankfurt yesterday would I not have had that work if I wore flap shoes and no make up and weighed 3 stone heavier? Women who wear make up earn more but if you're good it probably doesn't matter. I suppose those of us who want to look what society regards as attractive either for sexual purposes or because it makes us feel good do it because that's what we're conditioned to and we enjoy playing that game, taking part. Plenty of people choose not to bother and gain a lot of time and money in opting out of that. At least women in 2008 in the UK have the economic power because they earn their own money etc not to have to dress in a particular way in order to eat because attracting a man depends on their looks. Instead they earn their own money and can choose to look how they want.