Do you need to be a fat arsed frump when you have kids?

[chelsygirl]

I know you don't, but I've just had my hip young neice to visit and God I feel old

Should I give up now?

Hah I was a fat arsed frump before I had the boy. Never really gave a damn about clothes/make up. Much more important things to be doing. Am sporty/gamer chick so married sporty/gamer dude, its all good.

I do think I am more attractive now at 31 than I was when I was 20. Probably has something to do with being very confident now.

You don't need to be a fat frump, no. You can choose to be one or you can just sort of let it happen, but you can also decide to make at least a small effort every day re diet, groom,ing and clothes. I think once you let things slide it is easy to think that you will never be attractive again, but conversely making an effort seems to breed a more positive frame of mind.

my frame of mind depends how much sleep I've had and how early I was woken up

how do you stay positive all the time?

You really don't need to be a fat frump. I've found that setting myself targets has borne real fruit. I ran the Race for Life in summer for which I trained and am now, for my sins, committed to the 10K Cancer Research Race in October. I've been running three times a week (I'm 32, 5'7 with a BMI of 27.5) and I'm no athlete. I'm seeing real results and feel so much better about myself.

I need to make more of an effort. The sales assistant in Zara yesterday called me Ma'am, that made me feel terrible.

(in Zara buying clothes for kids, no time or desire to shop for me)

Nah...my husband says I'm hot!

Truly, I'm probably a bit frumpy now and again and I am a fatty but I was a fatty before child-bearing!

I couldn't run with my boobs, I'd knock myself out

Well, I'm wearing milk-stained pyjamas and my hair looks like a Brillo pad, but so what

Also, my house is a state and my baby is covered in cat hair At least I did manage to strip off my awful granny moustache before facing the world last night.

no

I have more wrinkles, that is the only change from pre-kids

same shape and weight

It's an issue simply of sleep. When you get enough it's easier to look good. When you don't everything goes down hill. I'm 46. My daughters (nearly 22 and 24 today) look pretty good but that doesn't make me feel bad. I'll be flying off tonight for a business thing and I look quite good. Perhaps it's a work issue. Become a housewife, i. e unpaid unvalued servant and you may well look pretty bad. Keep working full time when you have babies and you tend to have to keep looking better because you won't get work or fit in with people at work if you look dire and also work gives women confidence and power and money so it's win win win if women work full time in well paid careers when they have babies.

Weight though is a big part of it. Whatever you wear if you are fat people tend not to look good even if they have expensive clothes and make up on.

oh fgs give it a sodding REST

No of course not.

I have had lots of positive comments this week about my look along the lines of "You're looking very funky for 8.45 am." .

There is no reason to let yourself go because you have children - your children certainly won't thank you for it. My elder DSS and my DD both make lots of comments and suggestions about my clothes, look etc. All the children, and my DP, look good, have nice haircuts and stylish clothing (all different, depending on their looks and personality).

ROFL @ Xenia

I especially like "housewife, i. e unpaid unvalued servant"

I work but still often feel like an unpaid unvalued servant at home, don't save that one for SAHMs please

No. It isn't inevitable. But it's quite comfortable Once I threw out my leggings after DD was born I think I made a huge leap forward

Actually having a leg in plaster turns you into a fat frump. Fat because I'm boredom-eating and I can't run. Frump because I can only wash my hair in the evening and by the morning it looks like a bog brush, and because I've only got about 3 things I can wear - jeans are out!

I have my moments on both sidea of the frumpy / fabulous fence but I can't say I lose much sleep over it (I have children to help me with the losing sleep thing )
BUt at least now I have children I can lie to all newcomers and tell them how I used to look fit and fabulous before hand

LOL anniemac. My DD is the same - she is always encouraging me to wear dresses/skirts/boots rather than trousers and she often tells me things I look at in shops are "boring" (and she is always right ) - though if it were totally up to her I'd probably wear a lot more purple.

I'm not fat (bit of a skinny Minnie actually) but some days I certainly feel frumpy. Especially hate days when I get ready for work, think I look good, then get on the Tube and realise everyone else is so much more groomed/well-dressed/immaculate than me.

I do make the effort to wear make-up every day and blow-dry my hair, and try to make sure that my clothes are at least clean and well-pressed, even if they're not the height of fashion.

I look after myself and TBH care more about being physically fit than wearing whatever is featured in this week's Heat magazine. I run 4 times a week, and am just as slim as I was pre-pregnancy. It's just my wardrobe that needs some help really!

My 19 year old neice has that effect on me too. The fact that as well as looking young and cool, she is having a fantastic time at university makes me feel nostalgic for those days... when I first met her I was her age & at university - and she was 2!
After their last visit, feeling like I really HAD to stop looking so frumpy, I had my hair cut and bought some make-up. But most days I still can't be bothered and end up with my hair a mess and pasty face with bags under my eyes!!

I may have a fat arse, but I am no frump !!!

I'm not fat but some days I definitely feel frumpy.

I was still doing my hair and makeup during the 5 breast feeds a night stage. Always tried to dress as I would've b4 dc too. No excuse,its all about pride!

i think all these mums who are immaculate dressed everyday must have good sleeping babies or oh who gets up with kids.

with 2 dc under 3yo it's been over 3 years since i've actually had a whole nights sleep.

they say sleep deprivation is a form of torture. as i never even get one nights full sleep to make up for any pervious nights lack of sleep.

as for priorities. my main priority is getting as much sleep as i can before my eldest wakes. i am not getting up at 5am just to get ready before he wakes.i have to get ready with 2 toddlers destroying the house.

this said i can usually get make up on, hair done and throw on a practical outfit.

some days i simply shower and dry hair

getting to the gym is impossible as i have no one to watch kids.any spare time i have is spent on housework as my form of excercise.

there is no point whatsoever of me buying expensive clothes to get spewed on/messy paw prints/juice spilt.

and we do have the odd day whereby we all stay in pj's. this usually occurs after we've all been woken a minimum of six times through the night and i've had a total combination of 3 hours sleep.

i still have my pride.

all you lot who are making out that i'm being lazy/ unprioritised / lackinging pride and self respect ---- GET STUFFED