on a lighter note : Out of the mouths of Babes.... funny things your kids say...

[jojostar]

This morning getting ready for school helping my 6yr old dd put her tights on....

Mummy...

yes, come on put your leg in, watch what your doing.....

Mummy...

yes, what? other foot now...

Mummy..you know your belly?

yes

Mummy..you know your belly? (now prodding my belly and losing a finger in the fold of it around the point I last saw my bellybutton about 6yrs ago)

Yes... (waiting for it)

Mummy you know your belly I think it needs ironing......

If only life was so simple I'd have a travel one in my pocket, just popping to iron my belly wont be a min...I could be cindy crawford I could do my legs too hold one end and stretch iron them....
What a super idea.....

Oh my dd(2.7) is full of these - my favorites are..

The time she threw a tantrum in the entrance of tescos and I had to drag her in whilst she was yelling 'no mummy I go asda, I go asda' followed by sobbing.

She did a painting at pre-school and dh asked her what it was a painting of - she thought for a bit and then said very seriously 'i don't know daddy'

She calls yoghurts - numbnuts for some reason and my dh cannot keep a straight face

She also frequently pulls down my neckline, peers in and says 'Mummys boobies' - always in a very public or embarrassing situations

Oh, and when she was really little (2ish) DD1 couldn't say Biscuits, so it was often funny when she asked for Big Tits in Tescos....in her very piercing and audible helium balloon voice!

DS in bath.

Me: Two minutes, then out you get.

DS: OK Mummy

Two minutes later

Me: That was two minutes, out you get.

DS: No I want a long two minutes

Me: (Confused) Two minutes is two minutes.

DS: A looong two minutes, like when you read the paper.

I can't really argue with that.

lovely thread.
ds1 aged 2 cut his foot; he didn't notice but it bled everywhere.
ME (coming into gore-splattered kitchen: ds1 what happened? are you all right?
ds1 (looking round in wonder): jam! jam everywhere!

My friends son has just started saying his big sisters name, but he can't pronounce 'Evie' so calls her 'wee wee'!

Made me remember when I was little and couldn't pronounce the name of my mum's friend's son 'Jeremy'. I called him 'Germy until I was about 8!!

They are so surreal!
DD (2.8) this evening at bedtime- talking about a party we're going to in a few weeks- 'Mummy, after the fireworks, will we see the pirates?'
Points to a picture of a witch in the book we were reading (The Magic Bed)- 'That witch is called meal... potato meal' wth?

We have recently rehomed a rescue dog - a lovely border collie. He'd recently been done so he was still horny. Unfortunately, he found our toddler a little over attractive so he tried to dry hump him. We pushed him off and explained gently that the dog was just showing how much he liked him.

Roll on a few days and we're at nursery showing off our son's new dog to friends when he goes up behind the dog, hugs him tight and starts dry humping him. When I ask him to stop, he explains that he is showing him how much he likes him too

This is the son that at 18 months caused much embarrassment in the gym changing room by toddling up to a lady with very overgrown pubic hair, pointing dirctly at it and going 'uhoh'. I retrieved him without looking up as I was trying not to laugh.

Ds (nearly 3) is at the 'why' stage big time.
My current favourites...

"Why can't babies eat roast dinners?"
"Why has that man only got hair round the edges?"

just remembered more recent gems as I chuckle to the rest of this thread...

"Where do pigs wee from?"
"Do them baby kangaroos have to wear pants?"
(Recently toilet trained so a bit obsessed!)

DD2 came home from school today and told me she'd been to church and practised singing.I asked what this was for and she said it's for the Harvest vegetable Mummy.

Takes me back a bit as my lads are grown up. But can remember my youngest who is now 20 (about 7 at the time) come running into the house.....

Mummy, mummy Samanthas calling me names.

Is she, what's she called you?

She said I'm a virgin & I'm not am I?

Lol-that probably wouldn't happen these days!!!!!!!!!!

After we'd been at a Christening dd aged 3 asked "Why was that man watering that baby?"

DD2: Mummy, you know when a lady has 3 babies in her tummy?

Me: Yes

DD2: Are they called twiglets?

My sister was singing (she has very nice voice) my niece aged almost 6 says

"Mummy, you have a lovely voice you could be on X factor"

Sister "thank you"

Niece "I was only joking, that's called sarcasm"

Potty training DS and he told me he needed to tuck his "snake" in potty. DH denies all knowledge of where this has come from!

Friend's Twin 1: John Lewis is Daddy's favorite shop.

Twin 2: No, I think that's Sainsbury's

(Daady feels age and socio-economic position...)

ROFL

dd1 (4yo)

"Here you go Grandad! An invitation to my party."(reels off instructions) "Bring a present and please don't die. Have lots of fun...."

ds 4,Yesterday,on seeing a blue light ambulance

"Look mummy,an emergency ambulance,is someone poorly?"

Me "Yes"

ds "Why can't you look through the windows?"

Me "Well,um,if someones very poorly they might be being sick,or bleeding,or something like that,so it wouldn't be very nice for them if everyone was watching them when they were poorly"

(Tries to introduce concept of privacy and dignity.Glosses over potential of cardiac arrest,fitting,DOA,Overdose etc)

ds - "Or their leg might have fallen off?"

Me,"well er,peoples legs don't tend to just fall off,but if they did I don't suppose it would be very nice!"

ROFL at please don't die

This is a fab thread,

My DS aged 3.9- put DH Tie on- oooh look mummy i am just like daddy, i can say naughty words like f* Sake!!!!!

i was mortified but it was so funny(relly had to concentrate on not giggling), i had to explain that he really should not say that as its very rude etc, and i will tell daddy the same!!!!

As DH came home from work DS told him he had to sit on the stairs for 3 minutes as he says naughty words like .......

(of cource DH found it very amusing and i am pleased to say we have not had a repeat perfomance!!!!Lol

Ds who's 3 next month goes to bed with a cup of milk drinks it falls asleep and we then leave a cup of water for him. Last night he came downstairs in the middle of the night with his cup of water crying saying 'Mummy, my milk has melted.'.