on a lighter note : Out of the mouths of Babes.... funny things your kids say...

[jojostar]

This morning getting ready for school helping my 6yr old dd put her tights on....

Mummy...

yes, come on put your leg in, watch what your doing.....

Mummy...

yes, what? other foot now...

Mummy..you know your belly?

yes

Mummy..you know your belly? (now prodding my belly and losing a finger in the fold of it around the point I last saw my bellybutton about 6yrs ago)

Yes... (waiting for it)

Mummy you know your belly I think it needs ironing......

If only life was so simple I'd have a travel one in my pocket, just popping to iron my belly wont be a min...I could be cindy crawford I could do my legs too hold one end and stretch iron them....
What a super idea.....

DS 3.8 yrs, 'There's a new boy at nursery with hair like George's'
Me, 'Oh, is it blonde?'
DS, 'No it's the same make as George's but his is black.'

Loving this thread.

dd2 (3) on a rare visit to church last week. "Is this God's house, mummy?"
Me; "er, yes"
dd2: "I thought so. I saw the stairs up to his bedroom when we came in" (the balcony!)

When dd1 was 2, she kept asking me to sing "farmer's Jacket". I had no clue what she meant, and she claimed to have learned it at playgroup. I was cursing them and their new-fangled songs, as nothing else would do. I tried "Old MacDonald", and every farm/ animal song I could think of, but she really wanted this "Farmer's Jacket" After a couple of days of this, I decided I'd need to learn the blummin song, so asked her to sing it and I'd try to join in. So she sang- "farmer's jacket, farmer's jacket, Dormez vous, dormez vous..." AHHHH- THAT Farmer's jacket.

Similar situation with dd2 and "All the builders hats" Took a good while before we realised she meant "Everybody Hurts"

I re read this and it was so funny I thought I'd bump it back up again in case anyone had anything else to add!

DS2 told me he'd been playing the Three Billy Goats Gruff at school and that he was the wicked Trollop.

DD1 always thanks automatic doors
'Thank you magic door...'
We were in the foyer of the sorting office when I man came through the door and stood behind us.

DD1 started hopping about and stage whispered
'That man didn't say thank you, the magic door must be crying.'
went over and stroked the door saying
'Poor magic door'
and proceeded to give this poor man the biggest evil look I have ever seen.
She is 2.8

Upon returning to playgroup after the summer holidays DS (4 in December) asked me if I was going to school too. I said no I was too big for school.

"Don't worry Mummy, you'll fit, I'll push you!"

Had me in stitches!!

when to a christening this sunday, when I went up for communion i took DD for a blessing. when I received the host, dd reached up for hers, when none was forthcoming than loudly said 'I didn't have any, mummy you should share'

ds (aged 7) said to me this morning "Mummy, you know those signs you get on doors on public toilets?"

Me - "Yes?"

ds - "Well, why do the women always stand like this (stands with legs together) and the men like this (stands with legs apart)?"

DD has a limited vocab, and had just mastered the word "tea" the other morning when we had our morning cuppa. Later that day at a family gathering I was trying to get her to show off her new word.

Me: What did mummy have in bed this morning DD?
DD: Daddy

Cue entire family killing themselves laughing

Buicuits - HAH!

My niece, 4, to her annoying brother, 6: "Ben, you are SUCH a commoner!"

Where would she even get that???

I asked DD1 (4) what daddy was cooking for her tea:

"Pombears and peas"

Good thread!
Similar to another poster, DD1 (~3 at the time) asked in a loud voice in a public loo 'Why have you got a furry bottom, Mummy?'

Whilst showering DD1 and DD2 (2.5), I said'Come on DD2, time to get your hair washed',
DD2; 'I not DD2, she is' pointing to older sister. Cue FIL shouting 'I'm Spartacus!' and PHSL

Day before yesterday left DD (4.1 and long since toilet trained) playing on computer in dining room while I tidied living room. She'd not long come down from the loo....

After about 5 minutes she rushes into me:

"Mummy, I done a poo poo!"

MC: "WHAT?!!! You just did one. What do mean, where?"

DD: "I done a poo poo on the computer"

Went flying into dining room, steam coming out of ears, hyperventilating only slighty, to find she had managed to shut dow the game she was playing, and no sign of bodily functions.

She'd made a 'boo boo' on the computer!!!

Poledra, your post reminded me of the time the DSs were playing Lazytown and got into an argument about who should play which character. Much shouting of "I'm Sportacus", "No, I'm Sportacus" and they didn't have a clue why I fell about laughing.

A few years ago when DD was smaller she walked past a church where there was a wedding going on. Full of excitement she asked, "when are they going to start throwing spaghetti on the bride?"

Think she was referring to confetti.....

DD (6.2)and me in supermarket:

DD: can I have Moons and Stars?

ME: no, because you never eat them and they are expensive and Mummy doesn't have enough pennies.

DD: Then go to the cashpoint!

ME: remember when Mummy told you about how our bosses put our money in the cashpoint for the work we do? Well Mummy doesn't have anymore money in the cashpoint until Mummy's boss puts some more in. So I can't get anymore money.

DD: Yes you can, you can get cashback at the till.

ME: fits of laughter

DD1 (5 in Dec): "When is my Full Stop?"

ME:

DD1: Repeats above

ME: "I really don't know what you're talking about, DD1... try and explain"

DD1: "You know, when I don't have to go to school"

ME: "Do you mean half-term?!"

DD1: "Yes!!!"

ME: Hysteria

DS says such random things... yesterday he was talking about the park, and the slide and suddenly said "Daddy stuck. Daddy too big"

He also says goodnight to everything once in bed... "goodnight moon. goodnight sun. goodnight daddy. goodnight grandma. goodnight grandmas snoring."

On holiday, first few days dil did not go in the pool, she had her period, when she did go in, dgd (5) shouted from the other side of the pool, oooh mum, has your period finished now

at all these ...

DS1 (8) said last week ..

'I broke my nail today mum .... playing rugby'

Not exactly what I would expect a real rugger fan to come out with !

Out shopping with DD (3) and about to run out of time in the car park, so no time for our usual visit to the cafe. DD got quite upset and had a march her up a crowded high street whilst she wailed:

"I want a nice cup of tea and a sit down, mummy ..."

over and over again.

Not DD, but my little second cousin, at a christening, to his mum:

(Points at her DH's relative) Yes mummy, she HAS got a big bottom, hasn't she?

Cue me, my mum, my auntie and DD all piling into the Ladies and collapsing in a heap of laughter.

DS 1 almost 3

"mummy is pretty....daddy is complicated"

This morning DD1 (aged 5) told me that I must never drink beer, because only boys drink beer as it makes Daddys trumps smell bad.....