Mummy meltdown moment - do you think I might need help?

[handlemecarefully]

Wasn't sure where to post this. Probably would have been better in the feeling low section...

Have been feeling increasingly tired and fed up with looking after my 2.7 year old and 10 month old. Last week was entertaining fantasies about doing a Reginald Perrin and disappearing into the blue yonder

Yesterday when asked by dh why I was so fed up, explained that I loved the children but couldn't be bothered with them anymore.

Meltdown moment started to build momentum. Dd would shout "mummy, mummy where are you?" and I wouldn't reply (I'd be in the kitchen or somewhere and she was looking for me - doubtless to make yet another demand)

It happened at teatime. Baby ds was being a difficult eater as per usual so I just emptied the contents of the bowl on top of his head (don't worry it wasn't hot - I wouldn't hurt him), went to find ds and told him that I was having a wobbly moment, and then retired to bed at 17.30 and left dh to it.

I wasn't throwing my toys out of the pram, I just felt that I had to shut the world out and literally couldn't do anything for anyone anymore.

Feel fine today - but then I am at work. Not confident however that I won't feel like I did yesterday again.

Is this all just fairly normal. Or do you think I might be depressed? Like I said, feel okay today.

[vict17]

sorry I didn't mean it too sound like that! I bet he thought it was a new game!!!

[handlemecarefully]

That's okay. I suppose when you feel guilty about something you get a bit oversensitive. I didn't take offence, just thought (wrongly) that I had been mildly told off - which in the circumstances would have been reasonable.

Yes, hopefully thought it was a new game. Hope he doesn't try to copy tonight though!

[wonkydonky]

HMC - Invite some girl friends round for some wine and nibbles before you go away and get around to your GP.

Some adult company (social not work) may ease the pressure for a short while and it might remind you that you have a name and you can hold a conversation - even if it's predicting the outcome of "Desperate Housewives" on Wednesday night )

Glad you posted as I feel a lot better knowing that the out of character outbursts i get are normal and even though i hadn't thought about PND I am also going to chat with my GP - so thank you xxxx

[Demented]

HMC, thank you for posting your experiences on this thread. When my DS1 was little I did the food tipping thing (totally out of character for me as I am generally quite calm about whether they eat or not), I feel awful when I think back to it, I had struggled with b/feeding, given up, and got myself into a state about weaning trying to make up for what I thought he was missing and he just had to eat the avocado because it had something or other in it I had decided he needed. Of course he wouldn't eat it.

Just wanted to say I think you are doing the right thing going to see your Dr, I felt on the brink of PND after having DS1 for a long time and never had the guts to see the Dr about it. If I had read this thread back then I think it would have helped me find the courage.

[handlemecarefully]

Wonkydonky, I'm really pleased this thread has done something for you too.

..and Demented, thanks for making me feel better with your post.