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Parenting

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Original poster

So, do you go out with your DCs at least once a day, or are you quite good at staying in & amusing yourselves??

47 replies

caspercat · 28/08/2008 13:10

Cos DH & I had a HUGE row last night, where he accused me of hating staying in with 2yr old DD & things are 'obviously not right' with me cos i take her out every day. This stung, cos i had PND after she was born, & literally booked up my days weeks in advance to keep myself busy & from having to stay in with her all the time. But that was 2yrs ago, and since then am off ADs & feel absolutely fine. I now work 3 days a week, & on the days i don't, we're usually always out, either meeting friends, food shopping, swimming lessons & monkey music. Or just to the park or to feed the ducks.
I must admit to wondering what we're going to do every weekend, esp when the weather is crap, but things just happen & before we know it, it's Monday again!
Anyway, what i really want to know is, am i really that unusual in not staying in all day with DD, cos the friends i have with LOs do the same but DH doesn't believe me. I love being with DD, & she's generally a really good girl, but i think we both need to get out at least once a day - does that make me an insecure parent??
Sorry for the long post, & thankyou for any replies xx

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jojoisamum · 28/08/2008 13:17

We try to go out everyday too but it has been hard with the very wet weather we've had in Scotland.

I admit we are not out all day but DS is only 2 months old - longer trips will come the older he gets.

Why stay inside when you know winter and "having" to stay inside is only round the corner.

MilaMae · 28/08/2008 13:19

God yes, I've always got out with my 3 even when they were 3 under 18 months. Sometimes it would be an activity in itself just getting everybody ready but couldn't contemplate staying in all day, ever.

I could never stay in all day on my own let alone with 3 little ones bouncing off the walls, I'd go insaaaaaane!!!!!!!!!

nickytwotimes · 28/08/2008 13:20

My ds is 2 and we go out most days on some kind of trip or errand. I would go nuts otherwise. He is very happy being out.

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oops · 28/08/2008 13:20

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mazzystar · 28/08/2008 13:22

I do hate staying in with them all day.
We all need fresh air and exercise and a change of scene.
I am dreading winter when it I can't just bung them out in the yard for a couple of hours or nip over to the park without piling on the layers.
It does not make you an insecure parent.

2point4kids · 28/08/2008 13:23

How odd!
It sounds like you do fun things with your DD that you both enjoy. Why one earth should you stay in when you can be out doing fun things?

Maybe ask your DH why he feels the need to go out with his friends instead of making their own entertainment at home together instead? Perhaps its because they all enjoy it?

I can understand him worrying that you are not feeling ok if it is bringing back memories of when you had PND but for him to have a huge row with you and accusing you of hating being at home with your DD is just plain odd.

LoveMyGirls · 28/08/2008 13:24

Its totally normal to want to get out for a bit each day, it breaks the day up and the kids need more than 4 walls too!

I bet you are doing a fab job! Unless he has done it he has no clue!

alarkaspree · 28/08/2008 13:25

I agree, I feel restless and uncomfortable if I don't get out. With or without kids.

Why does your dh want you to stay in? Sounds bonkers to me, surely it's better for your dd to go out, see friends and run around than to stay indoors all day?

ILovePudding · 28/08/2008 13:26

Occasionally I'll have a day where we don't go anywhere, but we've got a big garden and we'll at least spend time out there.

dd (2) loves going out though, and our day seems to go much better, fewer tantrums etc, if we get out the house. Even if it's just out for a walk.

Think I'd feel really isolated if we stayed in all the time!

LittleMyDancing · 28/08/2008 13:27

out at least once a day, except very occasionally or when it's absolutely tipping it down.

otherwise everyone starts going a bit bonkers!

Original poster

caspercat · 28/08/2008 13:29

Wow, thank you all for your quick replies. He was more pissed off about it yesterday because when he came home from work DD & i were eating dinner & i had nothing ready for him yet - he's a vet & can finish work at a different time each day depending on emergencies, etc, and i wanted to get DD fed before 7pm - & he was expecting a cottage pie cos i said i had to make one soon to use up the mince! He thinks i should have stayed in to have made that instead of taking DD to the park!!

OP posts:

Dropdeadfred · 28/08/2008 13:32

aaaaah..completely separate issue there casper..

Notquitegrownup · 28/08/2008 13:32

Another vote for going out everyday, at least once.

tarantula · 28/08/2008 13:39

Have to say I'd think things werent right if dp didnt take dd out almost everyday. The only times he doesnt take her out is if there is a godo reason for him being at home all day (delivery or something) and she tends to go stir crazy if she cant go out.

MuffinMclay · 28/08/2008 13:42

I could happily stay in all day for a few days on end but always thought I was odd in that. Most mothers I know would go stir crazy if they didn't get out and about.

MrsMattie · 28/08/2008 13:43

Your Dh is being a bit weird, isn't he? Why is it a problem? Not sure I understand?

Original poster

caspercat · 28/08/2008 13:50

I don't understand either. We obviously need to get it sorted, cos know i feel like i shouldn't plan anything for my days at home next week as it'll just start another row. But he is incredibly stubborn and very rarely accepts i might be right. I'm also 4 months PG with No2 & shattered, so believe me i'd stay in & curl up on the sofa all day if i could, but that's no fun for dd. I think this Saturday i'm just gonna leave Dh to spend a day with DD on his own, get in the car (he's not gonna need it if he's fine staying in all day, hey?) & have a day to myself. He'll cope brilliantly & not see what all the fuss is about, obviously, but at least i'll get a days peace......

OP posts:

madness · 28/08/2008 14:03

We defin. try to get out every day even if it's a short trip to the playground/corner shop or something.Breaks the day

MegBusset · 28/08/2008 14:07

I think your DH is nuts! I am out most of the day with DS (18mo), rain or shine -- if we're in for more than half an hour we both start climbing the walls. I really don't see what the problem is, kids need fresh air and exercise. Would he really rather you put her in front of the telly for an hour so you could make his dinner?

theangelshavethephonebox · 28/08/2008 14:10

Am quite happy staying in and so is ds but I still try to get out at least once as I think it's probably good for both of us. It is a strange thing to be worried about, imo...

MummyToOneForNow · 28/08/2008 14:30

I try to go out every day (walk to shops, library, park, toddler group once per week, meeting friends etc) - I find rainy days very difficult to fill with a 20 mth old so would even get the car out if desperate. She and I would go mad being stuck in the house all day.

MrsTittleMouse · 28/08/2008 14:36

Neither.
DD would love to go out every day, but I'm pregnant again and I just don't have the energy. I don't have the energy to do wonderful things at home either. Poor DD1. Mind you, I suppose it's preparing her for the time when I have a newborn and don't have so much energy for her.
You sound like you're doing a great job, meeting friends, going to the park, swimming, shopping - they're all great.

singyswife · 28/08/2008 14:42

I HAVE to get out every day. Both of mine are at school but I go out every day after school. Kids need air and exercise every day. I would just take the car and go out at the weekend. Just tell him that you are doing this and he should be fine to have dd in all day. We'll see!!!!!!!!! Got for it and let us know how you get on.

Acinonyx · 28/08/2008 15:23

I definitely need to go out with dd every day. This frequently means we are eating when dh gets home and there is no dinner which he accepts gracefully and may have to cook or 'forage' (although I do cook most of our meals).

your dh should try it himself or is he of the school that believe women are programmed to enjoy the sole company of preschoolers at home 24/7?

I have a cohort of mums and we all do the same thing. And the dcs love to get out too (sell that angle ).

Sounds like he thinks you're enjoying yourself too much

wahwah · 28/08/2008 15:25

Your husband is a vet so hopefully will appreciate the dog analogy. Dogs need walks, toddlers and children need to run around and get worn out too.

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