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Parenting

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Original poster

Do your children call you by your first name?

54 replies

PinkyDinkyDooToo · 18/08/2008 17:30

THere is a boy at DS1's nursery who calls his parents by their first names. I was wondering if anyone on here does that, and if so, why? I'm not judging just want to know reasons people have for this, curiosity

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slavemum · 18/08/2008 18:39

My 2 only call us mum and dad. Apart from when they're doing the 'mum, mum, mum' thing. Then I tell them I've changed my name and I'm not answering them until they've guessed my new one.

goingslowlymad · 18/08/2008 18:40

My 15 year old calls me mum and my DH my his name as he is his step-father.

My 7 year old and 5 year old call us both by first names.

My 1 year old says mummy and daddy at the moment but I fully expect her to call us S and D the same as her brothers do.

I don't really mind what they call us tbh. Every one we know thinks it's normal. They are used to my family being a little off beat.

Original poster

PinkyDinkyDooToo · 18/08/2008 21:44

Is there a reason your DC do that Goingslowlymad. Did you concsiously(sp) choose that or is it something your DC just did and you went along with

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goingslowlymad · 18/08/2008 21:49

It's just something they did on their own. They never, ever call us mum or dad now.

Original poster

PinkyDinkyDooToo · 18/08/2008 22:00

I take it you weren't bothered by them doing that. I'm not sure how I would feel if my DC started calling me Pinky

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goingslowlymad · 18/08/2008 22:06

nah, we don't mind, but then I like being a bit different from other people.

I just asked my husband if he minds, and he said he'd prefer it if they called him Dad, but ot doesn't really bother him one way or other

jollydo · 18/08/2008 22:43

DS1 (4) tends to call us by our names sometimes if we are with others, and obviously they are all calling us by our names. I suppose it makes sense to him, and we don't mind, I think it's sweet. I heard him talking to our neighbour today and refering to me by my name, but it IS what she calls me after all.
He also sometimes calls his grandparents by their names, dp's parents don't mind but my dad always corrects him! (Doesn't stop him tho...)
I think I'd miss it if he never called me Mummy tho.

Desiderata · 18/08/2008 22:46

My nearly four year old has called me by my first name since he could talk. He never calls me mum, never has and probably never will.

I've never encouraged him to go one way or the other. I guess it would be nice to not be constantly mistaken for his childminder ..

On balance I think it's pretty cool, tbh. I don't have a problem with it at all.

madrose · 18/08/2008 22:57

My dd (3) generally calls me mummy, but when there are other children here playing or if lots of family are visiting, she call me d~~~~ . I don't mind really, but I'm not so keen on 'mum'

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 18/08/2008 23:09

my four year old calls me by name when i dont answer mum.

MadBadandDangeroustoKnow · 18/08/2008 23:13

We used to have neighbours whose children called them by their first names, but I never had the nerve to ask whether this was a deliberate choice by the parents or just something which had happened.

Jas · 18/08/2008 23:16

Both dds called me by my name until dd1 started school.

DP never calls me mummy, nor does anyone else, so that is what they learned, and I wasn't worried so I never tried to "correct" them.

Once dd1 started school, she changed to mum, and dd2 followed her lead.

I sometimes miss it, even though I was often assumed to be the childminder when out with them.

DS is 5 years younger and learnt to call me mum.

watsthestory · 18/08/2008 23:17

This reply has been deleted

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kikid · 18/08/2008 23:18

I'm a single mum & my only child always called me by my name, simply because she never heard anyone call me mum!

only when her school friends said "is kikid your mum?" did she feel some conformity & would then say mum. It didn't bother me at all, but it did bother others, not sure why?

Snippety · 18/08/2008 23:21

We are hoping our boy will call us by our first names. Mr Snippety calls his parents by their first names as does his brother and they are certainly not disfunctional, but one of the warmest, most loving families I have ever encountered.

I on the other hand am estranged from both parents and the very word "Mum" induces a shudder even to this day ! I also don't like the connotations of Mum deodorant, and "keeping mum". Mama sounds too American, or too French, Ma, Mam - no no ! He is taking a long time to call us anything though as the repeated mamama and dadada sounds passed by without us picking up on them I suppose.

beanieb · 18/08/2008 23:29

I hope my kids will call me by my firt name and call me mum. I grew up calling my parents by their names but also used Mummy and daddy up to about 9 and now vary between mum and first name.

Elibean · 19/08/2008 08:09

dd1 started with Maman and Papa (half French) then switched to Mumma (compromise) and Dad when she started pre-school.

But dd2, for some reason, calls dh by his name - not me, I'm still Mama (she's 21 mos) but about 80% of the time dh. I think she hears me calling him and copies me.

I don't mind either, its the way they say it that I mind or like

seeker · 19/08/2008 08:17

We know one family where the children do this. They are also incredibly rude to their parents and treat them like personal slaves (and the parents go along with this). I'm sure intellectually that they would do this even if they called them mummy and daddy, but I can't help myself thinking that it doesn't help that the relationship isn't defined by names, if you see what I mean. I think there needs to be a differentiation between children and adults - and if my children called me by my first name, like my adult friends do, then the line would be unhelpfully blurred. God, I sound like a Victorian matriarch - I'm not, honestly!

edam · 19/08/2008 08:20

When I was growing up in a Yorkshire village, my best friend's parents (incomers!) insisted on first names. Confused the hell out of us little ones. So we ended up calling the father Peterdaddy (and the mother nothing, we just avoided using a name at all).

Ds (5) has tried it on a few times but I do not like it. Pointed out he's the only person in the whole world who can call me Mummy. He's given up, thankfully, after he got The Look and The Voice a few times.

4andnotout · 19/08/2008 08:24

DD1 calls us mum and dad, DD2 calls us mumma and papa/father (we dont know why!) and dd3 cant talk yet If im ignoring dd2 she will call me by my first name to get my attention.

Sobernow · 19/08/2008 08:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

seeker · 19/08/2008 08:35

I've heard that too, sobernow - and I would have said the same - before I had children!

seeker · 19/08/2008 08:37

Actually, if you think about it, if children call you mum, then it's you that's being labelled, not them!

SilkCutMama · 19/08/2008 08:39

I don't care what my ds calls me as long as he calls me!!

moaningminnie2020 · 19/08/2008 13:18

My 17mo calls daddy 'daddy'...and calls me, er, 'daddy'gggr. Even the dog gets called by her own name but not me!

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