SAHM versus a WOHM - what have you chosen and why?

[Gateau]

Turn it into a HUGE bun fight if you want to, but this isn't my intention. I'm just interested in hearing which people prefer - and why.
EACH TO THEIR OWN.

Yes, same here.

One thing I should add (while we are on the subject of mums) is that one thing that keeps me going is the memory of how sad, lonely and bored my mum was when I and my siblings had all left home. I don't want to end up like that.

Also I like the independence of earning my own money. It is very good that DH has no scruples about taking money from me (and nor should he) but I would not actually be happy about that aspect if the boot were on the other foot.

Sorry, the "same here" was to Anniemac, regarding mothers.

Why are you torn Gateau ? I work P/T . Did until recently. God, it is so the best.

I'm a WOHM because (in no particular order):

• I earn more than my DH

• I like my job a lot

• After a few months on maternity leave I felt myself going a bit mad (and no disrespect meant for SAHMs, it simply isn't for me)

• I value my financial independence very highly having seen what giving it up did to my mother

• We have excellent childcare in place and so my daughter is very happy - certainly more than I reckon she would be being at home with a mad mother

In other words, it works for all of us in the ScaryHairy household.

I couldn't afford to not work. I'm ft at the moment but from Oct will go pt which is a good compromise for me. I do miss ds massively but on the upside, my commute to work is the only time I get to read a book now and I have really enjoyed that.

I favour the stay at home, send the DCs to work approach. Unfortunately there isn't much of a demand for chimney sweeps these days and with the death of the coal mining industry, employment opportunities aren't what they were.

I haven't chosen either, but I am currently stuck at home because noone want to employ me!

Ideally I would work pt, especially now that ds is 3. Although, I have felt very lucky to be at home with my lo for 3 years of his little life!

I've worked four days a week since my children were a few months old, but most of that has been freelance from home (while they were out of the house at their childminder).

I would find full-time WOHM quite tough as my partner does as well, so it's damn exhausting working out hours, childcare, and so on. But would prefer it to being a SAHM. Parenting does not bring out the best in me.

I have always been a WOHM. Either full time or 3 or 4 days. Always very flexible work though, a lot of which can be done at home. I would never really consider being a SAHM, unless my children were miserable in childcare. which they weren't. I always knew full time SAHM-dom wouldn't suit me.

DP works part time though and if one of us were to give up totally it would probably be him. He earns more but I like my job more.

Message withdrawn

I'm a SAHM. Not sure that I'd say I'd prefer it, but with our family situation (dh works abroad during the week, no other family support to speak of, my work very intense when I do it) it suits us best.

I'm a FT WOHM. I love my job, and it doesn't work part time - if I took a career break, there wouldn't be a career to go back to either.

SAHM because I hate working, never found a job I enjoyed, and could only earn a fraction of what dh does. Also quite enjoy it, most of the time.

I will choose to work because I like my job and life to me (I say to me) is more than just looking after my children 24 hours. I will have maternity leave but I will go back and split childcare between my OH and Nurseries.

I don't earn loads, I'm not chasing a great career, I just like my financial independence and my working life

We moved when I was pregnant (DH started a new job) and my contract was up anyway, so no job to go back to (didn't much fancy job hunting while pregnant!). Then DD decided that she hated sleeping, so I didn't want to go through job hunting too. Then we decided to go for another and didn't want to combine fertility treatment and work. Now I'm pregnant again (hurray - the treatment worked!) and we don't much fancy paying out two lots of expensive childcare.

Luckily DH has a good job and can afford to keep us all. I am happy to "only" have to concentrate on DD1 and being pregnant for now. I plan to go back to work when DD goes to school, even though I know that it won't be easy to juggle 1 preschooler, one infant schooler, childcare for both and a job.

SAHM. Was an obvious choice for us. My job was high powered and high paid (god knows how I ended up in that one) but I did not enjoy it and found it stressful. Also the hours were long and unpredictable and it involved international travel. Exciting when childfree, less so with a relationship/baby.

DH is in similar job but thrives on it and is a success. We both wanted one of us to be at home while DC were small. He would have done it if I wanted to continue to work, which I didnt. We are lucky in that DH can support us all financially. Plan to go back part time to something connected to previous job in the future but not to such a demanding position. And not until the youngest is about 3 I think.

Really happy being an SAHM although some people are shocked that I gave up the job I did to do it. Am in a definite minority though as most of my mum friends have gone back to work at least part time.

I am a SAHM at the moment. Stopped working after DD was born for many reasons:

• I enjoy being at home, doing things at my own pace, being my own boss
• I didn't want to leave DD and the thought of organising childcare was very daunting! Also having to manage time off when she was sick etc.
• we were in the middle of moving to a new area at the time which complicated matters
• my DH is happy in his job and he brings in enough so that we are comfortable, although we have had to tighten our belts
• I have never been particularly career-driven and didn't much like the organisation I worked for, bad management
• my line of work is female-dominated, I know several women who have taken career breaks to raise children so I feel fairly confident that I have built up enough experience to be able to get back into it or something similar at a later date
• my DH is quite a lot older than me, so for him to have gone part-time or taken a career break would have effectively meant the end of his career.
• Also I thought I would have another baby quite soon after, so there seemed little point in going through all the stress of going back to a job I didn't like and being pregnant and looking after a toddler, just to take another maternity leave. As it turns out it has taken me three years to conceive again, so I will be a SAHM for a bit longer than planned...

I think that's everything!

I am part time WOHM and I generally love it. I work 3 days and DH works a 9 day fortnight so he gets a day a fortnight with dc's too.

We couldn't afford for me to be a sahm at the moment and to be honest I feel that my family gets the best of me as I have some time to be me at work and satisfy my career urges for three days, then go home for the other 4 and be a mum.

Oooh forgot to say I am on maternity leave though at the moment and I am very happy not to be going back to work for another few months

Worked PT (3 days) after DD. Now on mat leave for another 7 months and undecided about what to do. Some days think SAHM other days I want to go back to work. Seems to depend on which thread I am reading .