Looking for other English Mums/Dads near Malaga, Spain

[dixia]

Help! My toddler (2 year old boy) needs friends. We live in Malaga, Spain. There is NOTHING to do here with kids, as all the Spanish seems to have extended families which take care of all that.

I am pretty desperate to find other mothers in the area or toddler groups or anything. I don't mind travelling up and down the coast a bit.

Can anyone help?

Ellie

Look for Senorapostrophe, she lives in Andalucia and may give you some tips. I'm sure there should be something.

Bumping it for you.

Hi I live in Estepona, which is about 50 mins from Malaga, so a bit far probably. Take a look in the Sur in English. www.surinenglish.com They advertise mum and toddler groups, I think there are quite a few in Fuengirola. I'm afraid I know absolutely nothing about Malaga. I'll have a think and see what I can come up with. Have you lived there long? I have lived here for just over a year and sometimes I love it and sometimes I hate but finding friends is a good start. Believe me I know it isn't easy.

hello!

Ellie, I've just answered your post on spain.othercountries.com .

I can't give you any specific answers (I suggested writing to the papers), but thinking about it, most of the people I know here I know through bumping into people at the park or Spanish classes - many of them have children dd's age (also 2). Not all Spanish people have huge families about, and even those who do sometimes like to meet new people (although admitedly, most of my friends are either british, South American or have lived abroad).

I can introduce you to lots of people if you fancy a trip to granada, but it's a bit of a journey to do regularly!

Hello fellow spanish residents!

Both Granada & Estepona are a bit far to travel to regularly, but maybe we could met up once or twice?

I am lucky as I have got several very close friends here. We've been coming over for the winters for a few years (now moved permanently). The whole other children issue really wasn't an issue when he was younger and when we were returning to the UK.

I guess I am just a bit worried that he is going to become a freak if he doesn't learn how to play with others.

I have now found a toddler group in Fuengirola that meets 4 times a week (the demand is so great). So I will pop down there next week.

I placed an advert in the sur in english last year looking for other kids ds's age - nada.

I haven't found a section in it for anything child related.

I think it comes under either clubs or whats on, Fuengirola is in there regularly. I have met people all north european or south american in the local park or at dd nursery. I think I have had to be a bit more pushy than I would be in the uk. Ive definitely had to work harder at it. ive just remembered there is a magazine that comes out every few months called kids on the costa or kids on the coast, that has listings. Theres not actually that much to do here in the uk sense, e.g music groups, tumble tots wacky warehouse etc. It takes a while to get used to I know.

Take it you don't fancy the haul to Galicia, then ? No, there does seem a dearth of toddler activities. Mind you, as they start school at three, that could explain it. Or, there is a market ready to be tapped?

I've gone down the guarderia road - DS1, 2 years 9 months, started in January and DS2, 15 months, is on the waiting list.

Definitely, go see Granada - beautiful, beautiful place. Oh, how about swimming lessons? We go to ones twice a week.

No, Galicia is a bit far. I'll have a look out for kids on the costa magazine - that sounds good.

I don't really want to put him in guardaria for much time - wouldn't mind one or two afternoons a week - but am having trouble finding something suitable. I am a bit wary of him being in a totally spanish environment as he can't speak any spanish yet. It might not matter if he had got used to the nursery set up in the Uk, but he's always been at home. I'm worried that he wont be able to make himself understood and may feel a bit alone. Am I being too protective?

He has just started swimming lessons with his dad - they go to a small group on Saturday mornings. He loves it.

I speak some spanish and am really trying to learn quickly. I am confident in everyday situations where I can predict what the response might be, but I freeze up and forget everything when confronted with a spanish mother to just chat to. This is probably my biggest problem at the moment. Must get onto a course!

i have a friend in alhaurin al grande and she has a dd of 3yrs if that's any good?

dixia - how old is your ds and how far along is he with English? It may be harder if he is already used to being understood all the time, but the earlier you start with Spanish, the better IME.

I would strongly recommend nursery as a way for him to learn Spanish. Many nurseries now have one teacher at least who can speak a bit of English. I work, so it's different for me, but my two (dd is 3 in May and ds is 13 months) go 4 hours a day. They both really like it and dd speaks almost as much Spanish as English.

Another thing I did when dd was younger was to advertise for an English/Spanish swap - I found a couple of nice people and we'd just meet up every week or so and talk English then Spanish. The only way to learn is to do it!

I know it's hard though: I still have trouble sometimes talking to the other mums at nursery just because I can´t find the words fast enough. I'll get there, and so will you!

Thanks senorapostrophe. It is good to get some advice from someone whos been here for longer. Maybe you're right about the nursery thing. I might look into finding a bilingual one - although I guess that wouldn't be quite as good for his spanish. Hmmmm.

You're right about the language thing. I've just got to get out and do it. An english/spanish swap sounds good.

Ds is 2 yrs and 4 months - still little, but has loads of vocabulary although poor diction. I think I'm the only one that understands him most of the time!

Chatee.....Alhurin el Grande is closer. I must look like such a sad case advertising for friends!

Is her daughter at school or home?

Hi again Dixia - I just sent you an email.

Dd is still a bit like that (she's 3 in may), but she's getting there. I really think that now would be a good time for nursery for your son (even if Spanish only) as he possibly wouldn't be understood in an English nursery anyway, if you see what I mean.

Maybe you'll find a Spanish class that runs while he's there?

Buen Suerte

Morning Dixia!

The reason I went for a guarderia was that I wanted DS1 to have Spanish before he started school at 3. I think you're right - I do worry about how he is surviving the language barrier but would rather he was doing it now, pre-school. Also, just like choosing a nursery in the UK, the set-up here is lovely, the staff are fab, in fact the only draw-back (if it is one) is that they don't speak English.

Oddly enough though, I am about to suggest something that might sound contradictory! Have you found the English speaking community yet? The first time I lived in Spain, it took me two and a half years to do it and was the one thing I regretted not doing earlier. This time, I found a small group really early on and it does make life more enjoyable, IME.

Think a swop would be a terrific idea. Places to advertise - local language school? local paper? And, no, it is NOT sad but part of starting a new life. Building up a new social circle and network takes time, wherever you relocate, but add a language and cultural barrier and it sometimes feels even harder.

thanks you two. I have several really good friends here (it helps when you've been coming over for the winters for 4 years). Dp & I went out with a couple of them last night, drank cuban cocktails all night, stayed up til 3am! The babysitter called me to check we were ok! Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

I'm not really short of friends, just the boy.

Will consider a guarderia & talk to dp about it. Your comments are useful & will help to formulate my thinking.

Will try to sort out a swap, does sound good.

Thanks for your help and advice.

hi, you often see the swap advertised as intercambio, again look in the sur, definitely nights advertised for fuengirola.

On the nursery front, I sent my dd to a private Spanish Escuela Infantile, they follow a national curriculum there. She was just 3 when she went and the only non spanish speaker, she had never been to nursery in uk, so didnt know any different. She's settled well and now there are a few northern europeans. They are much cheaper than uk too and have helped not only with her language but her eating too, they have a three course lunch everyday.

hiya

Just saw this - haven't posted for ages due to a demanding 4 month old DS2! (who's now happily bouncing on my knee, so forgive any typo's!)

I live in Malaga (city) itself - my DH is Spanish but not actually from Malaga so we are pretty much on our own here - found it tough going at first too at the beginning - keep hoping ther'd be more to do with kids etc but now DS1 who is nearly 4 goes to the local school and having a great time. He speaks English at home and Spanish at school/with his friends etc and there are no major problems.

Where are you in Malaga - please email me if you get a chance. We often drive to the coast for a bit of a change! Lucy5 - we went to Estpona on Saturday because we may eventually move there - what's it like living there? It looks pretty nice!

Hi Costamum!

how are things? how is ds1 getting on with ds2?

the fights in our house are getting less viscous now.

Hi there! Not too bad although now DS1 is desperate for his brother to grow up so that he can play with him! (or maybe fight!!!) DS2 is a terrible sleeper - catnap ciy over here! Will email you now!

how sweet!

dd and ds are playing nicely as we speak (so only a few months to go for your ds1!).

Hi there, you guys are echoing alot of what I am feeling apprehensive about and excited at the same time. I am moving to Cyprus with partner. He is turkish and has all his family there.

But like you KatieinSpain, it is the cultural difference that is the biggie. And Costamum you were speaking about the bilingual thing. I am just learning, planning to have a baby and I worry when you do introduce the two different languages as I dont want to feel isolated?

lilolme - I was in the same sort of situation when we first moved to Spain - I couldn't speak Spanish at all but I did a short course and just having to communicate with my DH's family (who mostly don't speak English) sort of got me to learn the language. For DS1 the language learning has progressed more or less naturally - we sent him to nursery where he only heard Spanish (and with the family) and only ever spoke English at home. In the meantime my Spanish improved so I never felt that I couldn't keep up so to speak. Most probably that will change as DS1 learns more and more but hopefully so will I. I don't think it is as difficult as you may think at first...!

Thanks costamum, you have set my mind at rest a little...

My DP echoes your words and advises that children can learn both languages at the same rate.... that does seem confusing to me...??? although I know children learn languages easier when young.

My DP was born in England with English mother and Turkish father then moved to Cyprus from age 7 to 16. Only spoke English really whilst in the UK, then attended Cypriot school from 7 onwards in Cyprus.

I only hope I pick up the language quickly, phrases are ok but two or three way conversations... arghh My saving grace is Mum in law to be is English and has her roots and there is a long extended Cypriot family who will keep me on my toes with the language.

Im glad to hear your geeting to grips with it yourself. How long have you been there?

Hi costamum, just to fill you in on estepona. I really like it, mainly because its still pretty Spanish although there is an expat community if you want it. Theres some lovely parks and a couple of softplay cafes to take the kids. Its small and a bit sleepy but thats why I like it. There are a range of schools nearby, public and private ranging from diabolical to excellent. It seems a pretty safe place and there is nightlife too if you want it. Sorry if this is a bit garbled, just typing what comes to mind. Overall I like estepona, especially the beaches, although I do sometimes feel like Ive stepped back in time but that could just be cultural rather than an estepona thing. Anyway if youd like to know any more or need help with anything just let me know.

Lucy - think its an andaluz thing!

Here we regularly see farmers going off to the fields in horse drawn carts, goat herds blocking the roads etc. dd loves it!