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Original poster

This is wrong, isn't it?

32 replies

MamaGLovesMe · 04/08/2008 17:54

More often than not the kids will ask me to do something with, or for them, and I will say in a minute, hang on, not at the moment, as I am usually in the middle of something.

Should I be stopping what I am doing to do what they want more often than not?

I feel so bad about it but am really struggling atm. I realise while I was a brilliant nanny, I am not a natural mum.

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MarkStretch · 04/08/2008 17:56

I do that ALL the time. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

And quite often what I am doing, I consider to be more important than what they want me to do.

lizziemun · 04/08/2008 17:59

I do it all the time. Now when i ask dd1 (4.6yrs) to do something she said 'i do in a minute' .

Mind you she always asks when i doing something i can't stop.

ladymariner · 04/08/2008 17:59

Kids have an inbuilt radar that lets them know when you are too busy to do something with them, so that you will say no then be eaten up with guilt and thus be more open to their next suggestion
You are not a bad mother, you are a normal mother!!!

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MarkStretch · 04/08/2008 18:00

Plus, I may be wrong but a Nanny is something you do professionally. You get paid, you look after other people's children and you can have a day off!

Parenting is not.

Don't feel bad.

Original poster
MamaGLovesMe · 04/08/2008 18:02

Thank you.

I can't tell you how much that means to me, all your support.

No doubt someone will say I am wrong but it is good to have some who say I am not.

OP posts:
trefusis · 04/08/2008 18:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MarkStretch · 04/08/2008 18:08

Sorry I would reply but I'm too busy. I'll do it in a minute.

meemar · 04/08/2008 18:08

You are a natural mum.

The nature of being a mum is that you are always in the middle of something, and kids are a constant interruption

Original poster
MamaGLovesMe · 04/08/2008 18:09

at MS.

OP posts:
tribpot · 04/08/2008 18:12

I do this all the time. I thought ds was particularly bad because dh typically isn't doing anything else (chronically ill / dishwasher-phobic) so he's used to instant attention when I'm not here.

But clearly all children are designed to torture their parents in the same way!

TillyScoutsmum · 04/08/2008 18:13

Imho, I don't think it would do dc's any favours to drop everything every single time they want your attention. Sometimes you have to wait for things in life - probably best they learn that sooner rather than later..

One of my friends allows her dd to interrupt all the time - its really annoying if we're mid conversation and her dd wants to share some very inane and non urgent fact with her and she stops talking to me immediately and starts talking to her.

SazzlesA · 04/08/2008 18:15

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tiggerlovestobounce · 04/08/2008 18:15

I think this is OK (Well I hope it is )

TillyScoutsmum · 04/08/2008 18:17

DSD uses the cuddle one a lot as well.... its almost like she's cottoned on to the fact that we'll make her wait a few minutes for a drink or food or whatever but its much harder to turn down a cuddle

LittlePeanut · 04/08/2008 18:19

Blimey I say "in a MINUTE!!!!" all the time! Not that it stops my DD from asking me agin... and again... and again... and again...

They have got to learn that they can't have you every minute of every day! Life's not like that, is it?

So, you are in fact teaching them a valuable lesson, see?

purpleduck · 04/08/2008 18:33

tillyscout beat me to what I wanted to say

MrsJamin · 04/08/2008 19:14

It's definitely NOT wrong - your children have to learn that they are not the centre of the universe and you won't just drop things because they decide they need you! Parents who always do this end up with very demanding children imho. I do it with my 7 MO DS - he's not too young to learn to wait - even for a few seconds!

belcantavinissima · 04/08/2008 19:30

i used to shout 'in a minute' every morning to ds1 when he was a baby (and i mean a proper baby like 10 mths or something) when he used to wake up and call us at stupid-o'clock in the morning . after a while he gave up calling us and used to just shout minute!!!! at the top of his voice!!!!

babylove21 · 04/08/2008 22:54

i think sometimes children interrupt to request your attention, what they are asking for may not be that important to them, but your response is. Stopping what you are doing to help them is reinforcing that they are important and gives them a sense of being worthy.
I don't believe they will grow up thinking they are the most inportant thing in the world, just the most important thing in your world.

MarmadukeScarlet · 04/08/2008 23:00

Out of interest babylove21 how many DC do you have?

shirleyghostman · 04/08/2008 23:05

its part and parcel of being a mum!

littlelamb · 04/08/2008 23:08

Do it all the time, especially since ds (8 weeks) has been born. Tbh at first I did feel terribly guilty about it, but I think it is good that dd that dd learns that my world doesn't revolve around her (as harsh as that sounds) and it has taught her to be a bit more patient and considerate.

juuule · 04/08/2008 23:09

Belcanta - we had similar in that when I asked our toddlers to do something they would reply minute.

ChasingSquirrels · 04/08/2008 23:11

in a minute is no good, it make them believe you will come and do it in a minute - you won't you will move onto the next thing, which you will then be in the middle of the next time they ask.....

Just say NO!

But do make some time to actually do some stuff with them.

juuule · 04/08/2008 23:12

If I say in a minute, then I usually do it as soon as I can.

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