I've now heard one too many people boasting to me that the reason I refuse to use controlled crying when DS has sleep problems is that I'm apparently 'not strong enough' (I say 'boasting' because they clearly see themselves as emotional He-Men). So far, every time I've heard this I've swallowed hard and restrained myself from saying 'actually the reason I refuse to subject my child to such treatment is that I think it's cruel'. Maybe I should say that next time. I mean, which is harder - walking out of the door for 1.5 hours and switching on the radio downstairs so you can't hear your toddler screaming their lungs dry and thrashing their little bodies against the cot? Or going back every five minutes to soothe, reassure and calm them down?
As far as I can see, when you have a child, you're going to have sleep traumas at some point, but there's a choice as to who experiences the most trauma: parent or child. You can either offload the stress onto your months-old child by abandoning them to cry it alone, or as a parent you can accept that you are the one with the emotional resources to handle stress, and so support them through it. So again I ask, which approach requires more strength?