The most ridicolous thing that parents told you as a child

[ReallyTired]

For example my mother told me that difference between Roman Catholics and protestants was that the Catholics worthshipped Mary where as we worthshipped God.

At the age of seven I went to church parade at a Catholic Church. I was completely and utterly gutted to find that they were very similar to our church.

That poor people who can't afford to run their houses properly have their children taken away and put in care.

Not that they triggered a hoarding complex about money, oh no....

Picking dandilions makes you wet the bed. So not true!

that if you went to sleep with wet hair you'd wake up deaf

That if I continued to suck my hair a tennis-ball sized hair ball would get stuck in my throat and kill me!

eating them might, thought, avenanap - the French name for dandelions is pissnelit, which means wee in the bed!

pissenlit, even

My Dad told me that he worked in a cake shop, he used to come home with cakes every friday. I was disappointed when I found out the truth. He was a geography teacher at the time.

Care Bears were real and lived in the sky, my mum kept up this pretence long after I discoved father chrismas and the tooth fairy werent real.

I was heartbroken when I found out the truth!

Ahh! Dandilion and Burdock (the real stuff, not chemical) doesn't do this though,

Oh yes if you swallow an apple pip a tree will grow in your tummy. And that there is cyonide inside the stone of a peach??? Not sure if it was my parents or brothers who told me that one.

That some worms have rings around them because they have been cut in half and the two halves have "grown" back together again (rather than because they are up the duff)

Do you think my dad wanted to avoid discussing reproduction with his 6 year old DD?

That some worms have rings around them because they have been cut in half and the two halves have "grown" back together again (rather than because they are up the duff)

Do you think my dad wanted to avoid discussing reproduction with his 6 year old DD?

There is no point in charitable events such as Live Aid as 'they' will never learn and the famine will return

nothing i can think of, unless i suppose telling me i would be safe travelling in the boot of a ford cortina estate on days out

My dad told me that he wanted to be a balley dancer but they didn't do ballet shoes big enough (12) and for years i felt sorry for him

He also told me that Elton John's mother did his mothers washing

that they loved me.

That they found me under a lettuce and my brother under a cabbage in the garden.

That liver was nice.

That I had to wash behind my ears in case the Queen came to look.

My dad told me that the 2nd world war was against the Scots. He said that during his time in the army he had stood on Hadrian's Wall and thrown spiky things over into Scotland, because the Scots never wore shoes (only woolly socks) and couldn't get past them.

I was particularly bemused by this as his Dad was Scottish (and always wore perfectly good shoes).

My Mum told me that sitting on cold ground would give me piles.

That there was a factory near Bradford that made the holes to go in doughnuts (dad)

The inside of a peach does contain cyanide, at a concentration of 164 mg/100 grams, and dandelion is a known diuretic.

giddly your mum is right,for gods sake don't do it!

a primary school teacher told us people in china had no fingers and thought thay fingers were weird! Think it was supposed to be a poverb type story, looking back, but I wasn't listerning to the beginning of the lesson??? Thought back to it recently when I was teaching about religious extremeism and I used football hooligans vs fans to illustrate the difference between being muslim and muslim inspired terrorism, several boys asked why there wasn't a muslim football league! Grab the wrong end of that stick and run with it...

Lion bars are made from real lions

That if the ice cream van is playing its tune, it has run out of ice cream...