The most ridicolous thing that parents told you as a child

[ReallyTired]

For example my mother told me that difference between Roman Catholics and protestants was that the Catholics worthshipped Mary where as we worthshipped God.

At the age of seven I went to church parade at a Catholic Church. I was completely and utterly gutted to find that they were very similar to our church.

my mum told me when I was 14 that Everyone would think that I was a lesbian if I wore those big swatch watches.

She was deadly serious( I still got one though)

That tampons were only for the use of married women (implying that using them would compromise virginity!!!!)

If you unscrewed your belly button, your bum would fall off.

When teh sun is low and very red its called the Killer sun because if you look at it while driving a car it'll make you crash.
Weirdly this has only just dawned on me(literally, while I was typing it) how scary that woudl be for most children....I loved it when I was little though!

That if you ate more than one bar of chocolate you could get chocolate poisoning.

LOL whybut, will use that one

that French for "sit down" is

"Squattez-Vous"

As soon as my children are old enough to understand the word poisoned, i will use it too

That you only have three layers of skin and they don't regrow. Told by my father during my habit of biting the skin round my finger nails. I was convinced that I would one day see bone. Only dawned on me the last few years that that's a lie.

When I was between about 6 and 10 he used to tell me a story every Saturday morning about a crime fighting gang of coconuts who used to fight the evil Percy Peach and the Mango Twins. Sometimes I used to find a coconut on the doormat where the gang had sent me one through the post as a hello. I was in my twenties before I realised that there was never a stamp and, more importantly, coconuts are not known for fitting through letterboxes...

When I was about 4, I tired to phone the ice cream man,to ask him to come back after he had driven away too quickly.

The next day, BT men(or whoever they were then) were working outside our house. My mother explained to me I had broken every one in the roads phone my trying to phone the ice cream man.

I felt so guilty for ages.

the seed meets the egg and then there are babies...
but how?
they just do
but HOW?
they just DO!

1. Wearing miniskirts makes you accumulate fat on your legs to protect them from the cold.

This does happen

if you eat sweets before noon you will get worms,

[I still sort of believe this one ]

My mother used to call mashed potatoes "ice cream potatoes". I was quite old before I realised they were not ice cream!