Haven't even started the bloody PGCE yet and am feeling utterly disillusioned :(

[youknownothingofthecrunch]

Since accepting the offer (all of a week ago) I have become an emotional bag of nerves.

There have been so many obstacles to this:-

No University within an hour and half commute.
One 2 year old, one 10 year old.
DH unable to move jobs to a more convenient location.
And so on and on and on...

So finally we decided that I should go back to my home town to study, abandon DH and take the dcs. At least there I will have family support etc. and Dh can come down at the weekends. Not perfect but if I want to do it, it was never going to be easy.

So, application process a joke, Uni bureacracy suitably crap (the usual) and finally offered a place. Hurray!

From then on it just seems to be one thing after another:

I check financial insentives and from 1st of August the golden handshake and extra payment for English is scrapped. Bugger.

MIL slates the school I intend to send ds1 to, making me question my choice (unfairly) and decides to take it upon herself to sort out nursery care for ds2 (not what I had in mind at all). I know she's trying to help...

Then today the headmaster at the school I currently work at says he'd love to keep me and would I be able to do my placements in the 2 local schools. I feel quite pleased, hadn't thought it would be an option. So I send an e-mail off to the relevant person asking whether or not it would be possible to do the placement here (admittedly far from Uni, and trying not to expect too much) so that ds1 could stay in his school and I would be at home for all but 11 weeks of the year.

Got a really snotty reply from some thoughtless admin woman along the lines of "No you can't, if you don't want your place on the course then don't take it!"

I had forgotten what utter b*stards university admin can be.

I know she has no clue what I am going to give up to take up this place. I am exhausted at the mere thought of having to spend a year as a single mother hundreds of miles from my DH.

I feel so upset by it all - probably completely irrationally. I've got to the point where I think the reward is no longer out-weighed by the cost. I can wait another few years until DH finds work somewhere closer to a Uni.

I already feel weighed down by the guilt of splitting up my family for the sake of my career.

If anyone has any perspective going spare then please share it

Off to bang my head against a wall for a bit.

oh i hope it will get better for you

i know, its a bummer about the payments for the English PCGE going down.. this will affect me next year.

please remember its only for 10 months!!

Thanks AGBU

Just feeling like it's not worth all the hassle right now. Utterly fed up and angry with pointless admin staff. Feel so guilty.

Perhaps now is not the time after all, maybe I should join you in waiting until next year

Could your current school offer a GTP placement to you (is it still called that?)? Then you could train on the job and stay where you are happy.

Just a thought but could you do your placements locally and do the studying bit with Open University - I dont know if that is an option with OU but it might be good for you?

HTH

I appreciate your frustration with the burden of it all. We are moving atm, heaps of people are questioning our decision - it is driving me slightly crackers

yes i was just going to suggest that, but is it too late now for this year?

i have started a thread on Graduate training, but everyone keeps telling me it is SO competitive so i think i have been put off slightly!

Dont wait another year!

Yurt - the OU dont offer English as a subject for PGCE

Thank you everyone, will ask about the GTP placement, but I'm almost positive they don't do it at my school.

AGBU is right about OU (very annoyingly)

Where has my enthusiasm gone?!

Oh, God, crunch - that's awful. I work in HE admin and would be just horrified if one of our staff wrote to a student like that. I don't work in student admissions, and am in Scotland, so don't think there's much practical help I can offer, but if I do find anything out which might be useful, I'll let you know.

Thanks Habbibu, good to know not all admin are evil

I think I just want the Uni to be trying to make my life easier, not more difficult. It would be nice if they could just pretend that they want me [needy emoticon]

They bloody should want you! This really bloody annoys me, tbh - you get admin staff being shitty to students and to academics, conveniently forgetting that they are the whol bloody point of the institution. A University without admin would likely run out of money/burn down/become lord of the flies mk2 before long, but a uni without academics and students, umm - isn't. Have you tried contacting the admissions tutor for the course?

Thank you

What help would the admissions tutor be able to give me?

Well (and I really am not a specialist in this area at all, so this is a guess), in your position, I'd be tempted to contact the tutor, say what the admin person said, and ask if he/she knows if that's actually the policy, and if so, what's the rationale. I'd be pretty polite, and keep it short and to the point in the first instance, but super-keen. If the admissions tutor is sympathetic, they may well go huffing and puffing to the admin and try to get things moving. No guarantees, but nothing ventured...

But also double-check about the GTP placement - if they really want you, maybe there's a way they can set it up? (disclaimer - I know nothing about GTP - don't have it up here)

Thanks Habbibu
You have restored my faith in HE admin staff.

Oh, they're a very mixed bunch, crunch. I fell into it by accident (ex-academic), and want to slap half of my "colleagues". Some of us actually remember what and who we're working for... Good luck.

Ignore admin - the tutors organise the placements, have a chat them, they might leap at the offer of a placement at your local schools (sometimes they struggle to find enough placement schools) the only thing is they (tutors) will have to get out to said schools to do at least one observation.

Good luck - it'll fly by.

youknownothing...

Could the dc's stay with DH, and YOU go back at weekends...?
Just wondering how you will focus on your course if you are doing everything during the week....

I know a woman who did this for her last year of uni, and she says it was the best thing she has done. Her DH really bonded with the children, and she does not regret it for a second.

It will go very fast..

However, I do believe that if a million obstacles are in the way, sometimes its just not TIME to do it

Purpleduck, I have considered this, but there is one enormous obstacle; DH leaves the house at 6.30 every morning. It does mean he is usually home by 3.30, so would be perfect for after school, but I can't see any solution for the morning (limited childcare available here).

Not to mention the fact that I would miss them both far too much.

Sometimes it does seem like that would be the best solution. He's already a very hands-on dad, and I'm already panicking about how I'm going to get basics like housework and packed lunches done and find time to sleep occasionally.

On a lighter note, I have had a much more friendly reply from admin lady. I emailed her back yesterday saying that I had never expressed any intention not to take up my place, and had I wanted to apply elsewhere that is exactly what I would have done. (Polite but firmly stating that her tone was unwarranted). She's even given me some info about where I can do placements next year.

Glad you are feeling better about it!

Glad admin lady has seen some sense, crunch, but I do wonder what the rationale is for not allowing you to do placements is the schools close to home. It would be a reasonable question, and nothing ventured, etc.

If you can do it then please try to.

dh is a HoD and has really struggled to fill the 2 secondary Englisgh teaching posts for September all 40 of the students at MMU have jobs for September and so he's been ringing round all his contacts trying to get people - no wonder he's so stressed that he's gone fishing!

Lucycat, if that's the case then why on Earth have they cut the insentive money for teachers doing TT in English?!

The rationale was that they require the schools to attend training sessions on how to train (IYSWIM), and they are unwilling to travel this far to do the observations. Although I think the major obstacle is that the Uni is in Wales and the school is in England. Because of National Assembly funding they cannot do placements outside of Wales.

At least that is what I have been told.

Feeling very downhearted again today.

Not complaining, honest! Well maybe a bit Just so utterly exhausted by it all.

I know it's crazy!

try and remember that you won't start untila couple of weeks into Septmber - there are 3 weeks off for Christmas and the course is vitually over by the end of May - well they are generally.

What would be nearest school to your house that they would consider putting you on a placement? at least for your main TP.

Would that help?

Nothing within a 2 hour drive it's not an option.

So it's going to have to be a complete move for the school year or not at all.

I think I shall let it all settle in my mind for a bit and make no decisions whilst in turmoil

Thanks for letting me know that English teachers can still find work!

Hi Youknownothingofthecrunch.

Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble with the PGCE. I've just finished my first year of teaching after doing the PGCE the year before and didn't find the admin staff particularly helpful at my university. It is a hard year but it flies and is well worth it. With regards to doing your placement at the school where you know the headteacher - at my university they refused to place a student at any school where they already had any 'ties', ie, knew members of staff/knew the children etc, or had done any voluntary work. I know that sounds crazy, but they just liked us to go somewhere completely new. That could be why they were so against your suggestion?

I commuted to my university every day and it took about an hour and 10 minutes - however, I do know people who travelled for up to 2 hours a day but most didn't have kids!

Unfortunately, my PGCE wasn't a very 'family friendly' course - the days were long, and we were expected to attend through the half terms whereas my degree was alot more flexible. However, in saying that, I think that teaching is also incredibly inflexible in terms of being family friendly. The holidays are an obvious bonus, but I work far longer hours in school and have an earlier start that I used to in a full time office job. Its impossible to get time off for your kids school concerts/appointments etc, and you will find in your first year of teaching especially, that you are working evenings, weekends, and for some of the school holidays. Bearing all of that in mind, I have absolutely no regrets and love my job. I officially 'passed' my NQT year yesterday which is the culmination of 5 years work (3 yrs degree, 1 yr PGCE, 1 yr NQT) and its a brilliant feeling!
Good luck!

well done sherylshore on getting through your NQT year!

roll on the summer holidays!