Haven't even started the bloody PGCE yet and am feeling utterly disillusioned :(

[youknownothingofthecrunch]

Since accepting the offer (all of a week ago) I have become an emotional bag of nerves.

There have been so many obstacles to this:-

No University within an hour and half commute.
One 2 year old, one 10 year old.
DH unable to move jobs to a more convenient location.
And so on and on and on...

So finally we decided that I should go back to my home town to study, abandon DH and take the dcs. At least there I will have family support etc. and Dh can come down at the weekends. Not perfect but if I want to do it, it was never going to be easy.

So, application process a joke, Uni bureacracy suitably crap (the usual) and finally offered a place. Hurray!

From then on it just seems to be one thing after another:

I check financial insentives and from 1st of August the golden handshake and extra payment for English is scrapped. Bugger.

MIL slates the school I intend to send ds1 to, making me question my choice (unfairly) and decides to take it upon herself to sort out nursery care for ds2 (not what I had in mind at all). I know she's trying to help...

Then today the headmaster at the school I currently work at says he'd love to keep me and would I be able to do my placements in the 2 local schools. I feel quite pleased, hadn't thought it would be an option. So I send an e-mail off to the relevant person asking whether or not it would be possible to do the placement here (admittedly far from Uni, and trying not to expect too much) so that ds1 could stay in his school and I would be at home for all but 11 weeks of the year.

Got a really snotty reply from some thoughtless admin woman along the lines of "No you can't, if you don't want your place on the course then don't take it!"

I had forgotten what utter b*stards university admin can be.

I know she has no clue what I am going to give up to take up this place. I am exhausted at the mere thought of having to spend a year as a single mother hundreds of miles from my DH.

I feel so upset by it all - probably completely irrationally. I've got to the point where I think the reward is no longer out-weighed by the cost. I can wait another few years until DH finds work somewhere closer to a Uni.

I already feel weighed down by the guilt of splitting up my family for the sake of my career.

If anyone has any perspective going spare then please share it

Off to bang my head against a wall for a bit.

Well done SS

Thanks for sharing all of that. I did wonder if they would have any objections about me being in a school I know, but they never raised that at all

I am worried about the lack of "family friendly" hours involved. It is all rather daunting. Glad to hear you're still positive about teaching though

youknownothing - i have been following your thread and am also still gutted that the incentive money for English students has gone down, so i am thinking of going for Plan B, which was teach RE.
Could you do this?

Have you a SCITT provider near you? They are smaller than uni PGCE courses and often offer the GTP option too. Yes, they are competitive, but someone has to be the one they select, so why not you!

Can't teach RE.

The GTP is certainly a consideration but competition is fierce.

I didn't apply for it before because the local school that takes GTP candidates (the one I work at) has been in special measures (which means they can't take on any students). They are now, finally, back out of SM, so it there could be the opportunity to do GTP there sometime in the future.

Just quickly scanned thread so forgive me if this has come up or is obvious knowledge in teaching circles but a friend of mine did GTP under the illusion that it is an on the job qualification option to PGCE but was very disappointed and shocked that it isn't a 'certificate'. It is literally just General teaching practice. I'm sorry if thats useless info but because you were considering PGCE I just thought i'd tell you

Thanks artydeb, I was aware that you end up with a different status. I would certainly prefer to go through the PGCE route. It's all ridiculous.