Too young for a day out?

[Alwaysinacrisis]

6 year old DC has been invited out for the day with a family we don't really know and we're not sure if it's a good idea. They have a child in the same class and we have said hello in passing but don't know them beyond that. DC is very shy and quite young for their age so there's also a concern that they will feel anxious the whole time.
Would you allow your 6 year old to go on a day out with a family you don't really know or are we being over protective?

Absolutely not. I allowed mine to have a lift home once with a family I thought I knew relatively well. And it turned out I really didn’t.

At this age they’re too young to know
how to handle an uncertain situation. Unless it’s a family you know really really well, I wouldn’t do it.

I wouldn't be able to trust a stranger putting my child into a car seat safely, not knowing what food they like, are they able to go to the toilet alone etc. I'd definitely want to know the family better before something like this

Would depend on how long she'll be there/travel arrangements and whether it's local etc.
Is it somewhere you could get to easily if she got upset/wanted to leave.

I'd be more inclined to suggest a play date/coffee with the parents, get to know them and their dynamic first before agreeing to my child being in their care for hours.

Maybe suggest a meet-up at a local park/soft play instead?

I tend to agree.

It's amazing how people 'parent', differently.
ie. Some parents would think nothing of letting a child this young go to the local shop alone, or play out the front with other kids..and wouldn't think it necessary to check with another parent that those things are allowed for the visting child either.

Absolutely not. Not with a family I didn't know well.

Yes if she wanted to go (subject to a car seat being arranged if applicable).

By 6 mine were able to go to the toilet unaided, knew not to wander off without an adult, knew what to do if they got lost, could say who they were and where they lived, could say if they didn't like/want foods they were offered etc. They also were pretty secure in the concept of going somewhere and going home at the end, so even if they weren't having a great time they knew it would eventually end and I'd be there to pick them up.

Where is the trip to? Is there any time between now and when the trip is happening that you could invite this child over for a play date at your house. That way you could meet the parents and see how it goes. I would always try to facilitate something like that if I could.

But that’s kind of different to going unaided in an unknown and possibly busy place,

That said, I have an ‘old in the year’ child so I’m thinking six as in y1. Maybe it’s a bit different in y2.

My eldest hasn’t quite reached this age yet but I can’t imagine me being ok with this at 6yo. If it was a family I knew and spent time with, it’s a possibility but absolutely not a family I don’t know.

Does she spend all day at school without you?

The way to get her used to a little independence is to allow her a little independence.

Maybe she can go to the loo when her little friend does, so it seems less of a strange experience.

Maybe she can bring snacks to share so that if she doesn't like the food she's offered she could have her own (and share some).

The way you get to know other parents is by talking to them. Ask the mum and little girl to come for a playdate before the day out.

Nope, hard pass for me that would have been. I’d need to have been going too at that age. Trust your gut.

Well no, that's not been the case in my experience. I've often taken my nieces/nephews or relative's/friend's dcs out on trips, sometimes before I had dcs myself. My motive was so they could have fun and enjoy a nice day out, sometimes with my dcs, sometimes just with the dcs because I liked being an auntie figure and taking them to nice places that their parents might not take them to or if they were working.

When my dcs have enjoyed a big trip out with friends, it's been as a group trip with the other children's parents. We've not been forced to make small talk, we get on and have a nice chat while the dcs play, but if the dcs need extra support or want to leave early, their own parents are there. In my social circle trips like this don't happen until dcs are a bit older, and not for really long days out (like opening till closing time at a theme park, which can be 8 hours plus 4 hours round trip travel).

How far away is the trip? Could you easily get there if she doesn't like it?

I don't understand the comments about food though. Surely you'd have a conversation about that before hand? I always did with other parents when my DC were younger. Same eith car seats. Check if they have a spare, or do they need yours.

Anyway. DS1 was painfully shy at that and wouldn't have wanted to go. He wouldn't even stay at a party without me.
DS2 couldn't get out of the door fast enough

@mathanxiety i don’t think you can fairly compare the two at all. School is a completely different environment and the teacher is a trusted adult and won’t really be alone with the child much if at all anyway.

I don’t doubt most parents are nice but the fact is you can’t know. Of course you can never really know but I still wouldn’t be waving my child off for the day with someone I barely know, I just wouldn’t.

Mine is 7, I wouldn't let him go for a full day out with anyone he hasn't at least had a playdate at their house without me or something (which actually hasn't happened anyway come to think of it, although he's had a couple here). I need to know he's confident with the parent if he has a problem.

Definitely not until I got a feel for the family

Of course I would. I bet she'll have a lovely time.

Presumably OP had a chat with the mum at the point the invitation was offered? These people are also parents of a 6 year old, and presumably therefore know how to look after two 6 year olds for a few hours. By far the most likely outcome is a lovely day is had by all. If my child wanted to go, I would absolutely let them (but make it clear to the parents that they should call me if there were any issues).