Help - toilet training, should I quit after tough 1st day?

[SKLM]

Hey everyone. Looking for some toilet training advice.

I am worried I have started trying to toilet train my boy who has just turned 2 too soon.

Background - We have had a potty around the house for months but he has still been in nappies. He was sitting on it out of curiosity from time to time and we talked about what it is for. Have talked a lot about wees and poos, he comes into the toilet when either me or my husband are using it and he knows mummy/daddy is having a wee/poo. He goes away discreetly to poo in his nappy. He enjoys washing his hands after nappy changes. He hasn't ever told us he needs a wee or poo or asked us to change his nappy.

So, some good signs I thought. I have a 5 day stretch to start trying to train, and his nursery are also on board. We have read a book about using the potty together and today went nappy free using those pants that hold a bit of urine (not pull ups).

Initially he seemed fine with it, put on the pants, and in the morning when coaxed would sit on his potty and he would help me pull down his pants etc. But he has become quite stressed as the day has gone on.

No success weeing/pooing in the potty. He is only weeing/pooing in the pants and doesn't seem bothered at all that they are wet or able to acknowledge they need changing. We have gone through 8 pairs today. We put a nappy back on for his nap this afternoon, removed it after and put pants back on. We have put a nappy back on now for bed. I was just following guidelines I read on this one.

He is refusing to sit on the potty since about 3pm and has been tearful when we gently coax him and has been saying no potty a lot and pushing it away. We have tried lifting him on a couple of times but he isn't interested. He has been pretty agitated all afternoon, I've noticed he seems pretty fed up and I am guessing it's the change as everything else is normal for him.

Have been suggesting potty every 1-2 hours.

If you have successfully potty trained, does this sound like a typical first day or have we started far too early?

I don't want to distress him at all but equally if this is par for the course I don't want to give up too soon.

Does no one read the last line I put?? Seriously. I successfully trained my kids before 3 - hence the last line. The phrase is to take pressure of parents whose kids are’t there yet. It’s so the bullshit parents saying “oh but I potty trained little Petunia at 18month!” And that putting pressure and stress on little Francesca’s parents because their child isn’t ready until 3.

That really just shows your lack of understanding of the phrase. i successfully trained my kids before 3 but one was 26 months, one was 33 months. The phrase is to take pressure of parents whose kids are’t there yet. It’s so the bullshit parents saying “oh but I potty trained little Petunia at 18month!” And that putting pressure and stress on little Francesca’s parents because their child isn’t ready until 3.

Morning OP, good luck today! I trained my DD at just over 2, similar to you I had a stretch of time
off work and decided to use that for the initial phase. It is so intense and exhausting for the parents at first, but worth persevering. What worked for me was bare bottom half as much as possible, then loose trousers without pants, so it’s as easy as possible for them to get on and off. They will have accidents, but I think that’s something they have to go through in order to make the connection and learn. Another piece of advice would be when you start going out, take not only spare trousers but socks and tops as well as they can get wet too in the process.

Please read the Oh Crap potty training book.

Yes, your son is ready to learn to use the potty at 2 (readiness is a myth in the absence of developmental delays).

Ditch the pants and have him go bottomless until he is successfully toileting on the potty, then move on to commando in loose joggers, then only onto pants once that is successful – underwear triggers the muscle memory of wearing a nappy and weeing automatically.

Do not take him to the potty at intervals – it interferes with their ability to recognise when they need to go and their ability to hold it. Instead you watch them continuously for the signs that they do need to go and then you take them (tiring yes, but necessary).

Do not do rewards based training – it’s a basic human skill and they should learn it without it being transactional.

Again, I really recommend that book. Give it a break while you’re reading it, and definitely put the potty away from sight while you do so, and then jump in again.

I am so excited I had to update you all before the end of the day to say that he has had a wee in the potty. Seems in a good mood too.

Will update later about the day :)

The current guidance is that readiness signs do not happen for a lot of children and things like being able to recognize and verbalize needing to go are way ahead of what is expected - we should be teaching them this not expecting them to do it before we try. We did bare bum at 2.5 and he was trained at home within 2 days but took much longer when we added clothes and nursery back into mix. I would say persevere with no clothes on bottom half for a few days and if he's not getting it at all then wait a couple months.the idea is to wait until they clearly need to go or are going and then direct them to the potty and LOTS of praise and fuss. Sitting them on it when they dont need it didnt work for us as it didnt teach him his cues. The ideal time is now suggested to be before 2 before they become much more aware of and attached to the concept of the nappy. But nights may take much longer as its hormone led.

Old person here. A bucketful of wet/soiled terry nappies every day concentrated the mind wonderfully when it came to potty training. Wrong time of year for it but camping removed the stress from the bare bum method. Some children reject potties but go straight to little seat fitted on top of toilet seat.

We just let them work ot out when they ready they worked it out totally by 3.5

@Kave where my husband grew up there wasn't access to disposable nappies. His mum had 3 boys without a gap in between pregnancies - she had them all trained at 18 months each.

he does know if he is taking himself off to a corner to poo in his nappy.

is he reasonably consistent in his timings?

I'd not use the pants to begin with - too confusingly similar to nappies in feel.

I would bring him into the bathroom in the morning, take off his nighttime nappy. sit him on toilet and read a book together. Get him used to the sensation of using the potty.

you can do the same at an appropriate time in the evening/before bath.