To refuse swimming at school

[tabbycat4321]

Has anyone been in a similar situation? My youngest, 6yo, hates school swimming. She has a genuine fear of going into the pool at school, I think there is some sensory overload as she doesn't like the getting dressed part either. This causes a lot of anxiety at home the night before and in the morning of swimming. Can I refuse for her to go? She's at a private school. I'd be happy to take her swimming outside of school as we can manage that environment a lot better and she loves swimming on holidays and generally is ok with 1-1 lessons. I understand that they need to be able to swim 25m etc. We did some over the summer that were semi successful (she has some fear still of attempting things alone in the pool). I have 3 older kids so am all for building resilience but this is far more than that, she's genuinely afraid plus I think she get sensory overload. Thanks for any suggestions

Asking on MN is for experience and opinions, it's a forum of discussion. As mums we simply give advice about what we have experienced works for us.

Sorry, like you I assume, don't have the time (or feel the need) to provide reputable sources as this isn't a training to be a solicitor forum.

Thanks, we did try 1-1 lessons over the summer for a week and whilst better she was still incredibly anxious and it got progressively worse over the week. Thanks for your message

This.

It is an independent school, so talk to the PE team and ask them to arrange regular 1:1 lessons for your dd until she is confident enough to join in.

It really is an essential skill.

I know it’s always recommended on here like it’s a magic solution but my kids HATED 1:1. I think particularly the focus always being on them. Group lessons, including the school ones, were way less pressured. They swum less in those as had to wait their turn, the teacher wouldn’t always notice if they put their feet down, not everything was micro corrected and they got to chat with friends so felt like it was fun. And they learned in their own time.

Your DD might do better than you think in the class lessons. If this is a private school with a big PE team, its own pool and has the kids swimming from reception she won’t be the first nervous/reluctant kid they’ve seen. I’d at least let them try with her.

Also 6 is getting quite old to not be able to swim at all, it is a life skill, and swimming parties might start making an appearance around 8. It is important she learns and given 1:1 hasn’t really worked why not try the school approach, presumably it won’t even cost you anything?

Thanks to those who provided helpful comments and suggestions. To clarify a few things, she has been swimming at school for a year. She went every week despite crying the night before and morning of. I pushed her to her limit every week and she wasn't allowed to miss a single week. It was only meant to be for a year and has been extended which we have only just been told about. I understand the importance of swimming and would make sure she learns outside of school. She does get forced to do things she doesn't like, with 3 older kids I have some experience in how important this is. Thanks again to those who have been kind.

Thanks for your message. She has been doing it for a year. Unfortunately there is an added cost.

This.

Hey op how is she on holiday does she swim? Ultimately I had to say to my DS look you can’t swim on holiday and go on slides if you don’t learn how to do it safely- that was motivating for him

Our son didn’t do school swimming lessons either, he can only get in water if I’m there, and then its a very difficult experience for him.

It depends on how the school his set up, his primary had a two week timetable, so on week one he joined the other class in that year group for library time, on a week two he joined the group below in PE (only one year at a time had swimming).

Have a chat with school first and see. DD is autistic, she really didn't like swimming at school but there were a lot of issues including her hair getting wet and tangled, how to get the swim cap on (that was her biggest worry), and also how fast everything moved so she'd just be getting into it and it was over. She started going after school for group private lessons and loved it, but the one issue that remained was jumping in, which she couldn't do. I thought it was being splashed or something, but it was the feeling of landing on the tiling fast.

We had the exact same situation with DD. The private school would not have allowed her to miss it even though she knew how to swim as had done lessons previously and loved to swim on vacation. They did swimming for 2 hours every week so she did it for years and just powered through! It’s definitely worth asking if she can skip it as they might say yes.