Tell me about how your kids have embarrassed you in public.

[amethyst8]

My DS yelling "Mummy I need a Poop - NOW!" from the other end of a jam packed train carriage. I also had smaller dd with me so we all had to get up and do the poop walk of shame to the end of the carriage and then back to our seats again with everyone knowing exactly what we were doing. Sure it is not much compared to some but my cheeks were flaming.

Trying to get DD2 into the tower of london free and she announced loudly to the chappy - 'ButI'm 5 mum'

dd1 was introduced with me to dh's new boss at about 18 months (in v posh meet and greet scenario).
dd1 eyed him up and down.
he crouched down and said 'hello'
she pulled down the front of her dress and said 'my boobies'

without missing a beat, he said 'did you learn that from your mummy?'

dd1 announced to the whole of prestwick airport lounge that

'mummy had a wee wee but she was very good and wiped AND washer her hands'

thank god thats all I did

DS told the whole of the waterslide queue that he had a bone in his willy....

In school rather than in public, but still . . . DD having repeated - totally seriously - to the teacher inspecting her spots (actually midge bites) that 'my Mum says I must have fleas'.
Note to self - remember, no flippant comments to anyone under the age of consent - they always take them seriously

oh and in Matalan when a rather portly man walked past at the told of her lungs

'mummy, why does that man have boobs I thought only mummies had big boobs?

[cringe]

when DS was 3 and I was paying for something in pperchase he said very laudly "mummy, she's a woman, so she has a vagina doesn't she!"

Luckily the lady saw the funny side!

my son (5) muttered to himself when was getting dressed this morning 'fat..' when I asked him if he meant me? he said 'I meant your boobies'

Not strictly my child, but my niece... she was 3 and I was picking her up from the cm and we were talking about how mummy has a baby in her tummy. One of the other mothers turned up to pick up her dd too, she was quite large in the tummy area so DN asked in a very loud voice "has that lady got a baby in her tummy too?"

Cue large woman blushing violently, as was I. Poor woman must have taken it to heart because she was noticeably thinner when I saw her next time a few months later.

a little girl at the park with her dad.
he helped her on the climbing frame, when she turned to him, screwed up her face then said to him "dad, that was a smelly trump you did"
he looked mortified and said.."come on lets go ...to another park.."
he looked like he could have died 1000 deaths.

DS (2.9) This is my mummy. She doesn't have a penis. Do you?

To any random stranger.

When my DC's were little and we saw anyone who I thought they might make a personal comment about eg someone serverly disabled, overweight etc, I used to wait until they pointed or went to say something and I would quietly say "we'll talk about him/her/it when we get home" I always kept my promise and discussed whatever it was when we got home.

I was very smug about the fact that I was such an excellent parent to have thought of and used this method ...

until one day we were in a queue in Tesco and the lady in front of us had a really awful wig on. At the top of her voice DD2 (3) said "mummy, we'll talk about that lady when we get home , won't we?"

Not so smug from that day on

I was in Asda with DH, DSS(3 at the time) and DSS's mum, DSS's mum took DSS to the loo, as she need it herself. When they came back, he announced that "mummy did a big poo". Very loudly.

lol UR, dd, being just two and a half is still not completely sure on the penis thing so tends to ask random people 'do you have a penis? my daddy has one. poor mummy doesn't', while trying to elicit sympathy for her poor blighted mother.

not that my DD's haven't embarrassed me...but the best one I heard recently was from my mum.

she was on a bus when a child was being told off by her mother for staring at another passenger. The girl turned to her mum and said in loud voice, 'well, if you tell me off I'm going to tell daddy you peed in the new bucket.'

child and mother get off at next stop.

Yes Aitch, DS has done that too, "Do you have a penis? Do you?"

ANd, when he was younger, "Are you my Daddy?"

LOL mamabea

nephew was page boy at his elder brother's wedding, and asked loudly "does the vicar have a penis"

lol mb.

MindingMum- your post made me laugh!

When dd1 was about 2 1/2 the butcher said hello to her in the shop and she fixed him with a steely gaze and told him "When I was little, my mummy fed me from her boobies". He went red. I smiled self-conciously and added "and a pound of steak mince, please!"

dd2 became obsessed with willies after her little brother was born. We were in a cafe and she was chattering on about it. "I don't have a willie, do I mummy?" "No, darling" (lots of old ladies smiling at us). "(ds) hasa little willie doesn't he, mummy?" "that's right, sweetheart", smiling back at old ladies.
"But daddy has a GREAT BIG willie, doesn't he mummy?"
I couldn't get out of there fast enough!

DD (3) happily building sandcastles on the beach (or so I thought)suddenly whips off her swimming costume and runs full pelt towards a nearby inflatable slide.

So she climbs the slide with the owners totally freaking out about how she'll burn herself if she slides down.

She stands at the top of the slide, stark naked, waving while I run waddle over and offer to climb up and get her only to be told I'm too heavy for the slide .

Eventually, she slides down and thankfully doesn't get 'stuck'. No burns either

DS happily sitting on the sofa telling my DM that he had a willy but that daddy had a huge one! So big it was bigger then his arms open wide.

DD throwing a huge tantrum at 2.10 in Sainsbury's as she didnt want the milk with the green lid but she wanted mummies milk (she stopped breastfeeding at 11 months).

DD (2.4 at the time) had chickenpox and we were in the supermarket. Before I get slated, her pox had crusted over by this point.
A man was filling the freezer and he was covered in moles. DD pointed at him and shouted very loudly, "You have chickenpox too man".
She recently said to DP whilst on a train, "Daddy you have a willy. Can I touch it?" DP was horrified.

DD1 and I happily sitting at the front of the bus (on the seats facing sideways, so on display), messing around. For whatever reason I pretend to bite her, 'gnash, gnash, gnash', very funny normally...except this time I get 'Ow mummy you hurt me, Oooowwww, so bad, don't hurt me mummy' at the top of her voice

In a lift at shopping mall. Woman comes in with buggy occupied by soundly sleeping infant, maybe 8 mos old. My DS, nearly 2, leaning out of his buggy and over to the baby, screams "wake up!" in the loudest voice I've ever heard come out of him. Luckily, the baby didn't wake up.