Is sharing a hotel room with my boyfriend and daughter appropriate?

[HollyIvy89]

Is It appropriate for my long term boyfriend to share hotel room with me and my 14 year old daughter. I don’t think it is. I always ask him to get his own room or we get a 1 bed apartment where possible and she and I share.
what do you think ? Kids love him and see him like a father. He collected them from every activity and plays in pool with them etc and I have no issue him watching them in home when I away and even though 14 year old is not bothered I think it’s awkward for all of us being in just 1 room sleeping.

@HollyIvy89
Who are ‘the others’ who think it’s ok for your 14 year old daughter to share a room with you and your boyfriend ?

It’s not about someone being a ‘threat’. It’s just that teenagers generally want/need privacy.

I absolutely would not have wanted to share a room with my parents at 14.

@HollyIvy89

Very odd to even suggest this. No your daughter should NOT be sharing a hotel room with your boyfriend. Even if you are present. Deeply weird.

@soleenq

Why? They aren't sharing a bed. They are sleeping in their own bed in a hotel which is a short term arrangement.

Why is the male a threat?

Why is the male a threat?

I can't believe anyone is asking that. Baffling.

I am asking mums net if it’s appropriate as the others as in friends, colleagues, family just say oh can’t you have one room and then I have to explain that no I don’t believe it’s appropriate. I just ‘wondered’ what mums net thought. Genuine wonder.

also wonder now turn it other way

is it appropriate for a dads girlfriend to share a hotel room with the kids/ teens if not their mum?

WTF is wrong with you @HollyIvy89? Of course you can’t do this. Are you even considering your daughters need for privacy amongst other important considerations?

My golly. I am NOT doing it. I am ASKINGa question.

100% inappropriate. I wouldn't have considered letting my DD share a room with her dad (her dad and me I mean, I'm okay with just me) past the age of 10. But her younger brother is close in age so they shared until around that age. Now we either need a villa, a suite or two rooms. We do girls together, boys together.

It's just yuck. The complete lack of privacy.

If you're happy to pay extra then it seems unimportant what anyone else thinks, but the attitudes on here are strange. My DH, DD6, SD16 and I will be sharing a large family room on holiday this year. Some holidays we've got an apartment or a caravan and had separate rooms. I don't see why it would matter, it's just a place to sleep.

Definitely needs her own room. My DD wouldn’t have shared a bedroom with me and her Dad at 14, and that’s her real Dad.

@ImImmortalNowBabyDoll
Do you not see the difference with an unrelated man sleeping in the same room as your daughters?

Not when this man has been to all intents and purposes her Dad for many years and OP will be in the same room throughout.

We’d have zero problem with that, and would happily share a room now she’s in her 20s and with her 18 year old brother. Separate beds obviously but provided the room is big enough it’s fine for a night or two.

Mmmm don't see the problem but then again I come from a massive family and well used to small breaks away in Travelodge or premiers and we room share with whichever has the spare beds, I mean I'm in my 30s and just recently shared with my parents and a brother, we had a good laugh all weekend..however going abroad we would have apartment with desperate bedrooms just because we are there for much longer

What’s wrong with them getting on well?
I think most 14 year old girls would rather have their own room so you’re doing the right thing, but I can’t see any issue with a girl getting on with their stepfather. I got on well with mine and that age too.

She probably needs her own room for privacy given it's not her dad. Ask her if she feels okay with it.

That being said, there are some weird ass comments on here. I shared a room with my parents on holiday literally until I left for uni at 18. It never bothered me. I went to the bathroom for privacy, and used to go and hang out in the hotel otherwise. You are barely in your room on holiday. I can't comprehend what's so odd about a family sharing a room for a week. All you are doing is sleeping. Me and my mum just used to arrange what time we were using the bathroom to get ready. My dad napped before going out for evening meal, and only ever took 10 mins to get ready so wasn't relevant 😂

Nothing fine with them getting on big it's how the mum writes it's.

If they get on so well what is the issue with sharing a hotel room. I'm assuming finances are an issue or else she wouldn't be doing it.

Should 14 years old have their own hotel room, no. Should they have their own room within an apartment, of course.

Would you feel this way if he was her father?
I think if it was one night fine. A week might be a bit cosy so yes he needs own room.

No, I think your instincts are right.

My dd is also 14 and my dh is her dad. She gets her own room now. If there aren't any connecting or adjoining rooms available then I share with her in a 2 bed room and her dad stays on his own. I would give her space in the evenings by hanging out with dh in his room for a while so she can talk to friends, shower etc. She needs privacy and her own bathroom and not for all of us to be crammed in the one room getting under each others feet. I dont know why anyone would think that's weird?

WTF is wrong with YOU that you can’t read a thread properly??!!

You and your boyfriend have the shared room, your 14 year old has her own room. Just as you planned.

That's what the majority of families I know would do. We didn't do "family" rooms once our three got to that age. They (and we) would have hated it.

I'd look for an aparthotel which has a living area/sofabed, then a separate bedroom. Then you're close by but have privacy, and probably cheaper than 2 hotel rooms.

I think it is you that has got it wrong, perhaps through not reading the opening post properly.

OP definitely said just in the first few lines that she didn't think the DD sharing with them (herself and her boyfriend) was right anymore. It's other people who seem to have questioned her on it.

I'm an only child and my parents always booked a triple hotel room to save money. It was hideous. I refused to go on holiday with them from age 16 for this reason. Hated it. Nothing insidious but a teenage girl needs privacy. It's also just so all overwhelming being in the same room as 2 other people. Zero breathing space.