My sons deadbeat dad has contacted me for the first time since I was a few months pregnant

[Gracexoxo]

He has never wanted anything to do with my child since I was 3 months pregnant (child is now 2.5) when he was constantly asking me to get an abortion/he did not want to be involved if I chose to keep the baby. He has never paid any child support, is not on the birth cert and I have never heard from him/or his family since, until today. I have no idea what to do for the best for my child? Worried he will grow up and hate me for not trying to give him the chance to know his father? But also what if he comes back and is then inconsistent or walks away again, I’m worried this will harm my son more. I’m also worried something like a new relationship has triggered this sudden interest and he may just want to impress a new girlfriend, or I know a few of his close friends have had children in the past few years/are due children in the near future, obviously this is all just speculation though but it does seem out of the blue so feel like there must be some explanation for it, or maybe he is completely genuine who knows

Is it reasonable to say to him (if I do reply) that I was to establish good communication and start to rebuild some trust back between us before involving the child, as I want to know he’s genuine about this, before he meets my child.

This is the message he sent
Hello, it really shouldn't have taken me this long to message as it's all l've been thinking about.
Looking back I clearly wasn't man enough or mature enough to handle the consequences of my own actions, I let negative emotions get in the way when I should have been thinking about the bigger picture. I'll never be able to forgive myself for that. I'm hoping you'll give me the chance to prove I can be a good dad. If you don't want to reply or speak to me I understand. If you'd be open to having a chat or even just hearing me out that would be much appreciated. Take all the time you need.

Emotionally he is nothing to this child, it doesnt matter that he is the bio father.

Instinct makes you act beyond common sense.

Men do stupid, selfish, immature things and don't think of the consequences to have sex.
Women do stupid, selfish, immature things and don't think of the consequences to have babies.

Men can commit violence and use coercion to achieve this goal.
Women can trap and condemn themselves and their families, especially their children, to lives of hardship and dysfunction to achieve this goal.

I am so done with women not recognising this and glorifying motherhood at all costs with bs such as "love will conquer all". It doesn't. Biological clock is an instinct of the species, not a reasoned personal decision. Children need fathers and mothers, children need to belong to something, not to be the leftover byproduct of half-arsed flings between idiots.

She decided that her desire to have a baby superseded the need for her child to have a father. She let her instinct rule over common sense, and it's her child who is going to pay the price all their life. That she can pay the bills or loves her child to bits is only a tiny mitigation to an awful mess that should have never happened.

And now, an equally immature and selfish dad is back in the picture. Seems to have matured a bit, but still, it's a mess.

Poor kid.

But the child may want a relationship with dad, want to know about him, who he is. That is their right.

That's why women need to be choosy who they decide to have a child with, because it will have a lifelong impact on their child. I know men can change, but if they are deadbeat to start with don't have children with them.

My reply would be why now? Before deciding anything op. Good luck .

Go through a lawyer to find out how you should proceed, you must be shell shocked- if you’d done what he wanted your poor DS would be dead. No way would I meet up with him- I guess the relationship can’t have ended on a happy note