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Parenting

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Flathead that is too late to treat

27 replies

AFriendOfAFriend · 26/06/2026 16:57

My baby daughter is 1 year and 5 months already. I realised too late she has a flat heads, so we can’t use a helmet therapy. In fact, they say there is nothing that can be done anymore, but I see it is between moderate and severe. I know you are wondering how I did not see before. I kinda seen it and I asked 3 doctors and 4 other medical professionals (both NHS and one abroad) and they all told me she looks perfectly fine to them and it will go away by itself, just do a tummy time. My daughter slept hours on my lap, did tummy time and I breastfed her, but when I was putting her in a cot I did try to put her straight and stupidly, when she turned, in the early months, I did turn her back facing the ceiling because I was paranoid of SIDS and following guidelines from NHS tried to prevent her from sleeping in a ‘not safe’ position. It’s my and my husband’s first baby, we don’t have a family around us to support, as we both are foreigners, so when I felt she looks odd I just asked professionals and they all told me it is nothing to be bothered about. But I accidentally seen a post showing severe flathead and realised it’s exactly what we have. And treatment is too late. I am so angry at myself and at everyone around me for telling to ignore this. Now I keep reading about it, everyone keeps repeating this happens to negligent parents and I just can’t stop thinking how my daughter now will have to live her life with a sign of neglect. I cry a lot about it but obviously it doesn’t make my guilt disappear, so I am just trying to understand how much I actually ruined her life. It feels like I failed her forever. It feels like many people had it but fixed it on time. All babies around me don’t have this issue (how come it’s just me who screwed it up???!)
basically, I guess, my question is - how do you live knowing you failed your baby? And does it really matter as much as I imagine it?

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backformoreofthesame · 26/06/2026 17:00

They don’t do helmets any more - just wait for problems to resolve iver time

it doesny affect babies health

babies with flat head are not given helmets but are advised to keep sleeping on their backs

so you have managed to do everything right

AntiHop · 26/06/2026 17:01

It sounds like you did everything you should- spoke to health professionals, did tummy time, put her on her back to sleep as per the sids advice.

Have you asked for a paediatrician referral?

AbsoluteHoot · 26/06/2026 17:01

I don’t suppose her life is ‘ruined’ because she has a flat head. It can’t even be that noticeable. Get a grip.

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CurlewKate · 26/06/2026 17:02

My understanding is that flat head tends to sort itself out in time- and helmet therapy isn’t used very much these days. Just try not to worry about it so much-give her as much love and care as you can- that’s the important thing. If the HCPs have told you it’s nothing to worry about then it probably isn’t!

Zhu · 26/06/2026 17:03

It’s fine. I’m a 50 year old woman with a slightly flat head, and other than telling people as an anecdote occasionally, I don’t think it’s affected my life whatsoever. Once her hair grows in properly, you won’t really be able to tell without touching her head.

QuaintBeaker · 26/06/2026 17:04

My cousin had a super flat head as a baby but it did eventually grow out by itself.
This would have been around 30 years ago so no helmets.

Anyway, if she does still have any flatness it certainly isn't noticeable in any way

You've done all the right things and you haven't failed her

farmlass · 26/06/2026 17:05

In the nineties before helmets I was advised to put a rolled up towel in sausage of material so he couldn’t roll his head onto the flat side . From birth til he finished in the Moses basket and worked a treat

Wishiwasatailor · 26/06/2026 17:07

They don't use helmets any more except in extremely severe cases. Having a flat head would not meet the criteria, a friends baby had quite an oddly shaped head and was rejected for a helmet. It will grow out over time and won't become noticeable as they get older.

TurtleGroove · 26/06/2026 17:23

How many times in your whole life have you looked at an adults and thought they had a flat head??

I don’t think I ever have.

You're making a massive deal out of nothing.

VividDeer · 26/06/2026 17:26

I don't think it is very noticeable in girls with hair styled.
Even bald men, how many heads do you see that look 'severely flat'?

AFriendOfAFriend · 26/06/2026 17:39

Thanks so much for responding so quickly!
Thought I better show a picture to clarify. She has her hair loose here so it’s not super noticeable, but you can see well from how high her skull goes compared to what we suppose to have usually.

at this point the skull moulded already so I don’t think having massages or towels under neck would help. And they still do helmet therapy, I contacted them, but they said the time is gone, she is too old to make any difference.

l am trying to get a grip, that’s why I message here, as I can’t really discuss this with loved ones (don’t want them to get crazy about it since no one said anything)

Flathead that is too late to treat
OP posts:
AFriendOfAFriend · 26/06/2026 17:59

Thanks, I guess I just need to hear that it is not a problem to worry about. Because when you search about it, it really seem like a huge deal. And there is a lot of hate and blaming on parents for failing to address it.

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Icanseeasquirrel · 26/06/2026 18:07

She’s gorgeous. And same shaped head as my son who is an adult now and you wouldn’t notice under all his hair.
My nephew had a flat head as a baby and his parents fretted a lot. No helmet but tried everything. Not sure if it made any difference as I haven’t ever really thought about it since but he is a handsome young man now with a beautiful wife. It’s a pretty common head shape.

midlifeattheoasis · 26/06/2026 18:10

Your daughter is absolutely beautiful. I don’t think she has a flat head.

Now my youngest had the mother of
flat heads. He has a perfectly acceptable shaped head now 😊

AbsoluteHoot · 26/06/2026 18:12

That looks like a perfect little head to me.

Onmytod24 · 26/06/2026 18:13

Do you have an absolutely beautiful child so cute. But those photos underneath they’re totally pointless. Every child is unique and yours is particularly gorgeous.

Thingsthatgo · 26/06/2026 18:14

DS had a really flat head. I didn’t even know it was a thing until I noticed it. I felt awful, and thought that I was being fobbed off by doctors, couldn’t afford to go private. By the time he was four his head was a perfect shape, and now he is a very handsome young man.

FullOfMomsense · 26/06/2026 18:17

farmlass · 26/06/2026 17:05

In the nineties before helmets I was advised to put a rolled up towel in sausage of material so he couldn’t roll his head onto the flat side . From birth til he finished in the Moses basket and worked a treat

That is definitely not the advice now, and is incredibly risky! Empty cots are safe cots

AFriendOfAFriend · 26/06/2026 18:18

Thanks so much everyone! I feel so much better already. It’s been killing me for a while but this helps so much. Wishing you and your kids all the very best!

OP posts:
Bikenutz · 26/06/2026 18:20

I worried about this so much too. DD is now in her twenties - thriving in her career and social life. It will be fine!

Overthebow · 26/06/2026 18:25

AFriendOfAFriend · 26/06/2026 17:39

Thanks so much for responding so quickly!
Thought I better show a picture to clarify. She has her hair loose here so it’s not super noticeable, but you can see well from how high her skull goes compared to what we suppose to have usually.

at this point the skull moulded already so I don’t think having massages or towels under neck would help. And they still do helmet therapy, I contacted them, but they said the time is gone, she is too old to make any difference.

l am trying to get a grip, that’s why I message here, as I can’t really discuss this with loved ones (don’t want them to get crazy about it since no one said anything)

Compared to those images it she does match the more severe end, but I don’t think they are that much use and shouldn’t really be compared to, as all babies head shapes are different anyway and will have different side profiles. Have you had her seen by your GP? If they say there’s nothing to worry about then trust them, it’ll likely grow out anyway over time.

WinterFrogs · 26/06/2026 18:27

Oh she's lovely! And her head looks fine to me. I had never heard of this till I started reading MN but kids and heads come in all shapes and sizes

FishDogBird · 26/06/2026 18:28

I honestly don’t think her head looks any different from any other child. She is gorgeous!

I actually think the ‘normal’ child’s head looks unusually protruding. The other three just look like normal baby heads. I’ve worked with loads of babies and their heads come in all different shapes. I also don’t ever recall looking at a child or adult and noticing a flat head.

I really don’t think you have anything to worry about 💐

WonderWeeksArentReal · 26/06/2026 18:35

Both my DC had flat heads as babies. They are 8 and 6 and you can't tell now.

AFriendOfAFriend · 26/06/2026 19:10

Overthebow · 26/06/2026 18:25

Compared to those images it she does match the more severe end, but I don’t think they are that much use and shouldn’t really be compared to, as all babies head shapes are different anyway and will have different side profiles. Have you had her seen by your GP? If they say there’s nothing to worry about then trust them, it’ll likely grow out anyway over time.

I don’t think NHS really cares about brachiocephaly because it is only cosmetic in most cases. I did read though sometimes it makes face asymmetrical more than normally and can potentially cause some issues, but very rarely.

as I said, 4 doctors looked at her and told me I am imagining it….

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