11 month old not crawling yet and feeling judged by other people

[FairPearlPoet]

My baby just turned 11 months old and refuses to crawl. I probably didn’t do tummy time with her as much when she was 3ish months as a first time mum but she started sitting up unassisted by 7 months old and ever since she’s so content on her bottom that when I’ve tried to put her into the crawling position she moans and cries after a minute no matter how much I try to entertain her. It’s really disheartening when I see baby’s much younger than her crawling, pulling to stand etc. I understand they all go at their own pace and I think it’s more the pressure from everyone else… she gets called lazy all the time for it and it makes me feel judged that she’s not doing those things. She had a health visitor appointment at 10 months and they weren’t concerned at all because she could see that she moves, she just puts her feet together and scoots around on her bum and twists herself all around so she moves but I do find she gets more frustrated moving when it comes to being on carpet as it’s harder to slide herself around. I believe the health visitor is checking up on her again at 12 months due to her lack of gross motor skills however I know they said they aren’t bothered unless she’s 18 months and not walking independently. I feel like I’ve tried all the tips and tricks at this point to encourage crawling, standing etc but is it just a case of waiting to see?

Why would they crawl if they can bum shuffle, there is no incentive to.

Don't feel judged OP. Honestly most people don't care!

Are people actually judging you or just making conversation? There's a limited amount you can say about a baby really which is why people talk about milestones. Quite a few babies just skip crawling. It's not a reflection on your parenting.

She sounds like she’s going to be a bum shuffler. She’s not going to crawl OP.

Both of mine were bum shufflers, with one of them starting at 11 months and walking at 20 months. He’s my second so I wasn’t concerned at all, as knew babies really do do things at their own pace.

Some babies just don’t crawl, if they have learned to move around by bum shuffling. It isn’t an issue.

I would have had absolutely no idea which of my friends babies were crawling or not. She sounds fine. The most important thing is to not force it. They shut down and refuse at this age when you try to push them to stand, crawl, walk and it can delay independent development. Just get her out exploring the world. Lots of new places, lots of things to see, lots of chatting with her. She’ll be fine. And enjoy how easy things are right now, because once she’s probably mobile, it’s a whole new game.

My first didn't crawl apart from the day he crawled over to the sofa and pulled himself up to standing, then he just cruised along the sofa for about a week and then began to walk....all at about 12 months. Prior to that he hated tummy time, learnt to sit at 7 months and became very good at pointing and saying "that" when he wanted something. He was a very early talker and had a massive vocabulary which has really helped in all aspects of school life....he is now 16 and very sporty and academic.

My first never crawled he went straight to walking from bum shuffling.

Most of the time it’s just conversation I suppose but it’s almost straight away “is she crawling yet” which I then talk about things she is doing well instead. This only started bothering me again because yesterday I could literally see the judgment or maybe concern on someone’s face when she was told she isn’t crawling…

My friends daughter never crawled. Mine crawled but i think it was around the 11month- 1yr mark. I honestly wouldn’t worry

Developmentally normal.
11m is early walk imo.
My oldest did at 11m but had refused to crawl and then climbed everything relentless and barely spoke until she was 2.5....
Youngest was about 14m.

Parenting IS judgement. You'll get it pretty much forever so I would say get used to it
(I have a 4 and 2 yo and give zero fucks now)

That said, this is such a non-event / normal and If I had to guess half of these people are just making conversation
HOWEVER
I would absolutely not tolerate any fucker labelling my child lazy.
They'd be asking to leave house or id remove myself from theirs

Anecdotally
Some friends didnt walk until 18m plus... one refused to crawl and rolled everywhere!!! All are normal 4 yos.

Tummy time wasn't a thing when my DC were babies. My eldest didn't crawl until he was walking at 11m which was a bit backwards!

People are just making conversation. You just say "no she's bum shuffling instead".

My 10 month old doesn’t either, she drags herself around like a slug 😂 I have her health visitor appointment this week.
My eldest never crawled, she pulled to stand after 1 and didn’t walk until 14 months.
My friend’s baby is walking (just turned 1) but is absolutely silent, doesn’t smile/babble and that worries her.
All babies are so different, it’s so hard not to compare but they all get there in the end ❤️

I had a friend who used to come across very judgey types at playgroups etc. Her daughter was a bit clumsy and she was always getting comments. Anyhow said daughter had a favourite story book that she insisted on having read to her every single day and she knew it off by heart and could recite it. Friend couldn't get away with turning the page a word early. So one day, when getting comments about her daughter (aged just about 3) she just handed her the book and said just sit and read you book dear. The little girl happily sat and "read" the book out loud and the judgey crowd went very quiet. I guess what I'm trying to get over is that things aren't always how they look and what parents say their DC can do may not be all that. Friend was in fits of giggles telling me about the sudden silence and then rush to be elsewhere.

one of mine was a bum shuffler. She never crawled, hated tummy time. I remember the judgement- I remember some horrible comments from other mums. She was a very late walker. Please, please don’t worry about your baby. Some babies are just shufflers. They can see where they are going. They can hold a toy or cup at the same time. It’s just different.

Ah don't worry OP, every baby is different.
My youngest never crawled, and she never rolled over! She had abs of steel and if I put her down on her back on the floor she could sit straight up and she did an almost gallop with one hand and the opposite leg. She was so fast and it was so funny to watch.
She wouldn't cruise or bear weight on her legs for a long time, if you tried to hold her out to make her bear weight she would hold her wee legs up like wtf are you doing to me, but the rascal could climb 🙈

I wasn't too worried as my husband never crawled, nor did his sister's two children.
I did mention to the health visitor at around 14 months and similar to your one said they wouldn't worry until 18 months.
In a matter of weeks she had started pulling up to a push along walkie and then she just got up (leaned forward, hands on the ground and stood up) and just started walking 🤣

As a previous poster said there are a limited number of things to comment on about a baby and some people just feel the need to comment!

Just smile and nod and say they are all so different aren't they!!
Your little one will get there in their own time!

Random question but do you have wooden floors? Babies with wooden floors are far more likely to be bottom shufflers. (If you want to know why try crawling on a wooden floor (ouch!), bottom shuffling on a wooden floor (slide!), crawling on carpet (doesn’t hurt!) and bottom shuffling on carpet (stuck!).)

I had a bottom shuffler. I can’t remember how old she was when she crawled but the first time she crawled she want from the landing into our bedroom at which point she pointed at the carpet and said “purple!”. The carpet was purple. She talked and learnt her colours early but she must have been much older than 11 months.

For info bottom shufflers are also more likely to be late walkers. (Necessity is the mother of invention and if you bottom shuffle you can also carry Teddy as you move. For crawlers it is much harder to carry things so they find Another Way.)

My bottom shuffler also walked very late. Just before 18 months in fact. I had 18 months in my head to contact the GP and then she suddenly did it.

I did have to develop a bit of a thick skin because of this. Especially as she talked very early and was not a diddy dainty thing so people thought she was older than she was. Phrases I used were:-

“Is she crawling.” “No - she is more of a bottom shuffler. We have wooden floors.”
”If she crawling.” “No - she likes to bottom shuffle - means she can carry all her toys at the same time.”
”Is she walking.” “No - as you can tell she is a talker not a walker.” “Mama! Ball! Mama Ball Now! Need! Now! Need!” (Dd helping out there by proving she was a talker!)
Is she walking. “No - she is a bottom shuffler. They walk later.”

She’s a teenager now and on the Team GB pathway for an endurance sport so it didn’t mean anything.

I was a bum shuffler. Try to enjoy the fact that she doesn't crawl/wander off too much yet. Following them around the whole time is just exhausting.

It's totally fine. They're all different. Dd1 never crawled. On her 1st birthday she sat still in the garden while the other kids crawled/walked around her. She walked around 14 months. Dd2 crawled a tiny bit around 11 months. Ds1 crawled fast and furious at 7 months.

Absolutely no discernible difference in their physical abilities aged 2 plus. DD1 could ride a bike without stabilisers just turned 4.

Equally DD1 was talking clearly in full sentences at 2. DS was babbling nonsense at 3. Again no difference in their intelligence or spoken ability at school age.

I know it's hard but try not to compare your child with others. They do things when it works for them.

You need to watch Bluey 'Baby Race' @FairPearlPoet
It's the sweetest episode 💕
I was a bum shuffler. And my children were all late crawlers and walkers too. Everyone is fine.
I agree people are just making conversation

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My DS didn’t crawl until very late, as he had reflux and lying on his stomach made him more sick, so he never got into this position to crawl.
However, he walked just before his first birthday. So wouldn’t worry

DC1 was a bum shuffler, walked around 12 months. DCs 2&3 crawled and then walked.

I would say to anyone who asks that your child is a bum shuffler, and you’ve heard they’ll likely go straight to walking.

Honestly OP I’d have zero concerns.

I wouldn’t worry either. It sounds like she’s a bottom shuffler and from her perspective crawling would be less appealing as she can use both her hands when bottom shuffling where as she wouldn’t be able to if she crawled.

One of mine was a bottom shuffler who never crawled and was really late walking (around 23 months). We were referred to physio, they weren’t worried and told me the average age of a bottom shuffler to walk is 22 months. You wouldn’t know now that she was so late to walk.