11 month old not crawling yet and feeling judged by other people

[FairPearlPoet]

My baby just turned 11 months old and refuses to crawl. I probably didn’t do tummy time with her as much when she was 3ish months as a first time mum but she started sitting up unassisted by 7 months old and ever since she’s so content on her bottom that when I’ve tried to put her into the crawling position she moans and cries after a minute no matter how much I try to entertain her. It’s really disheartening when I see baby’s much younger than her crawling, pulling to stand etc. I understand they all go at their own pace and I think it’s more the pressure from everyone else… she gets called lazy all the time for it and it makes me feel judged that she’s not doing those things. She had a health visitor appointment at 10 months and they weren’t concerned at all because she could see that she moves, she just puts her feet together and scoots around on her bum and twists herself all around so she moves but I do find she gets more frustrated moving when it comes to being on carpet as it’s harder to slide herself around. I believe the health visitor is checking up on her again at 12 months due to her lack of gross motor skills however I know they said they aren’t bothered unless she’s 18 months and not walking independently. I feel like I’ve tried all the tips and tricks at this point to encourage crawling, standing etc but is it just a case of waiting to see?

My DC3 never crawled and he only started bum shuffling at 14 months, walked at 17. He was a big baby from birth, not sure if that makes a difference. Anyway, he’s 11 now and the most sporty and academic of all my 3 children!

OP find a mirror and have a go at saying ‘ No.’ Look bored then sip your tea. You have a much better chance of enjoying your child if you give no shits about anyone else. There is nothing to explain or care about. You are making yourself worry about something developmentally normal. There will always be the ‘Oh mine crawled across the Everest last Friday’ types. Just keep a yawn handy.

My first crawled at 12 months, walked at 15 months. Within 2 weeks of taking first steps could run down a hill with head turned away and not fall over and very soon afterwards demonstrating strong sporting skills. 2nd could pull themselves across the carpet at 10 weeks, can’t remember exactly when they were crawling but somewhere around 6 months and was walking at 10 months but at 18 months, despite having been walking for so much longer, wouldn’t have been as steady on their feet as first at the same age. Tummy time was not a thing when they were babies.

We’ve just gone through this. He finally decided to crawl one week before his birthday. And he still chooses to bum shuffle a lot now.
we are nearly 13 months and he is only just starting to pull to stand.
All babies are different and it’s honestly nothing you have done. I parented both mine exactly the same. One walked by 11 months one only barely started to crawl.
Go easy on yourself

Mine didn’t crawl until nine months and I regret a bit trying to encourage it so much. He also hated being put into positions (he also hate having his body moved around in songs and things so I think it’s that he likes to be independent). He’s not walking or looking close at 14mo and I’m much more relaxed and not trying to do independent standing which he hates because he’ll do it in his own time.

I did do tummy time. I had a yellow wobble toy, a ball with a rattle in it and another toy I’ve forgotten now which he loved and he only got in tummy time, and we just did a few short bursts a day, and ditched it if he was having a grumpy day.

The conversation goes…
“is she crawling yet?”
“no…she bum shuffles?”

On the flip side, DD crawled - but she never ever bum shuffled. As far as anything I remember reading at the time it's normal if they do one to not do the other.

We had carpet everywhere, I'd never thought about it before, but that's an interesting observation!

Anyone calling my child lazy like that though would get short shrift.

The walking crab from amazon. Made my son crawl as he was desperate for it.

My eldest didn’t crawl til 11 months and didn’t walk til 21 months. HV wasn’t concerned til 18 months, and she has a physio assessment then. All was fine. Later we did discover she has dyspraxia so quite a few of her gross motor steps (eg jumping, hopping were delayed)

My youngest never crawled - he was a bum shuffler and walked a little bit later than his older brothers (15 months approx, older boys were walking at around a year)

Some babies never crawl and it's perfectly fine!

Oh god i just did this to a friend yesterday who has an 11 month old. I said ‘is she crawling?’ Just to make conversation. But she wasn’t and I could tell I had bothered then with my question. But it was totally innocent. Please ignore other people!

Why did you ask?

I’m not sure what the obsession is with other children’s milestones. Maybe it’s because mine never hit any of them on time, and didn’t meet some at all, but I have no interest in asking parents what their babies are doing. If I’m making conversation with them I’m asking how the parents are getting on, how are they coping. The only time I need to know where they are at with development is if I am baby sitting for them.

@FairPearlPoet it’s a marathon, not a sprint. As long as you are happy with your child, and there is no major concern, that’s all that matters. Don’t let anyone call your child lazy, or behind or whatever.

Its a simple enough question

Are theycrawling?
Yes
No

Same with any question what brand of wipes do you use, do you like ap particular nappy rash cream, do they like toys or whatever

And no there is not a single question i was asked that worried, upset me or made me feel judged or i othet memo I was meant to get on how to turn a question into an exestentional crisis, it is how humans communicate

If someone had an issue with this therapy probably would help more

Moving on your bottom and not crawling may be ( and I am not a doctor here) a sign of some sort of neurological problem. You might want her to talk to a doctor about that. And when you next have the health visitor.
I have a neurological condition and that is exactly what I did. It may well not be and she is just doing what she prefers. Just mentioning it so you can ask about it. To add, I went from shuffling on bottom to walking. Nothing in between.

My LO didn't crawl till 12 months. But progressed quite quickly from there to pulling up and walking along furniture. He was walking by 15months!

Honestly my youngest dd was super early with all her gross motor skills now at three years old there really isn’t any difference between her and her peers who all crawled and walked much later.
No one will be asking her at a job interview if she crawled early or late.
A tip I would give is at nappy changes tap her opposite hand and foot together so left hand to right foot. It helps create pathways in the brain for linking the two sides together. They also find it quite funny.

You’re either going to need to get used to the judgement by growing thicker skin, or come up with some snappy comebacks. You’ll be judged on:

• Walking
• Potty training
• Reading
• Bike riding
• Swimming
• Primary school SAT exams
• 11+ scores (if in a grammar school catchment)
• GCSE grades
• Driving test results
• A Level grades
• Which uni (Russell Group?)
• Uni results
• Degree-relevant job (graduate programme?)
• Romantic status
• Home ownership
• Grandchildren

Honestly…it never ends. Learn to silence the “noise”.

I loved having two bum shufflers. The cutest ever. Enjoy it!

Just a bum shuffler!

I wouldn't be worried at this age. Mine 'crawled' but for reasons unknown to literally everyone they commando crawled (tummy on the floor) using only 3 limbs with one leg randomly in the air like some kind of fin.

Walked at just over 12 months. Can walk, run, jump, crawl normally etc now at 2yo.

It's all normal. I didn't know about the wooden floor thing, that's really interesting. One of mine used to drag himself along with his arms. We used to call him the slug.

Not all babies crawl, some bum shuffle, or go straight to walking- sounds like they are motivated to move. I had a late walker (not till 18 months) so understand it's hard to hear other people's complaints but trust the health visitor- they will have seen it all

Edited shuffle, not shuffleboard! Thanks autocorrect

My dear, chill. Mi DD never crawled (briefly and only backwards, backed herself into a corner and couldn´t get out). So she crawled everywhere on her tummy commando style. Then suddenly stood up one day holding on to furniture and never looked back. She thought crawling was boring I guess. I hate it, does my knees in.

People are weird about baby milestones. They are only important in terms of looking for delays or potential disabilities. Otherwise they are meaningless. You can't look at 10 year olds (without disabilities) and tell who crawled first. Your baby sat on schedule which is great and hopefully she's just not crawling yet because she already has a way to get around!

Both of mine rolled, and that was quite late. With dd2 I was in no rush for her to crawl, roll or shuffle - it's much harder when they don't stay put!

Would highly recommend watching the episode of Bluey called Baby Race (usually on BBC iplayer, always on Disney+)