Newborn sleep is unsustainable. Please help.
I’ve just had my second baby. First baby was colicky and didn’t sleep so this isn’t my first rodeo but there are a few differences this time that feel unsustainable.
Baby is only 5 days old but is already really struggling with reflux. As soon as baby is put on their back, they wake up gagging and choking on vomit (even after holding upright for 30 mins after feeds, winding etc). Not much vomit comes out - baby gurgles, coughs and splutters, swallows loads and seems generally uncomfortable. Baby is also already struggling with bowel discomfort. This means baby will only sleep upright on myself or DH.
I managed to cosleep with my first DC (whilst DH got fairly decent sleep in spare room although he did still come and help loads) but that’s not worked with this baby as cosleeping still involves lying down. So instead we’ve tried taking shifts whilst the other one stays up holding baby but baby doesn’t always abide due to cluster feeding. The other night we tried me sleeping from 9pm-1am but in reality I slept 9-10pm and then baby cluster fed until 1.30am. So then both myself and DH had to share the second shift for sleeping, meaning only a couple of hours each. DH didn’t sleep during the cluster feeding as we had no idea how long it was going to last. We kept thinking “baby will be done in a minute”. Similar thing has happened every night since. We’re both surviving on 2-4hours of broken sleep per night. I handle sleep deprivation better than DH so he is completely on his knees. I’m also struggling and we’re both starting to feel dangerously tired. DH doesn’t feel safe to drive.
I know this is just a phase but I’m not sure how we’re going to get through it. We also have another kid to look after now. Whilst baby can’t be laid down and shifts don’t seem to be working, any ideas?