Newborn reflux means baby only sleeps upright and we feel dangerously tired. Please help.

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Newborn sleep is unsustainable. Please help.

I’ve just had my second baby. First baby was colicky and didn’t sleep so this isn’t my first rodeo but there are a few differences this time that feel unsustainable.

Baby is only 5 days old but is already really struggling with reflux. As soon as baby is put on their back, they wake up gagging and choking on vomit (even after holding upright for 30 mins after feeds, winding etc). Not much vomit comes out - baby gurgles, coughs and splutters, swallows loads and seems generally uncomfortable. Baby is also already struggling with bowel discomfort. This means baby will only sleep upright on myself or DH.

I managed to cosleep with my first DC (whilst DH got fairly decent sleep in spare room although he did still come and help loads) but that’s not worked with this baby as cosleeping still involves lying down. So instead we’ve tried taking shifts whilst the other one stays up holding baby but baby doesn’t always abide due to cluster feeding. The other night we tried me sleeping from 9pm-1am but in reality I slept 9-10pm and then baby cluster fed until 1.30am. So then both myself and DH had to share the second shift for sleeping, meaning only a couple of hours each. DH didn’t sleep during the cluster feeding as we had no idea how long it was going to last. We kept thinking “baby will be done in a minute”. Similar thing has happened every night since. We’re both surviving on 2-4hours of broken sleep per night. I handle sleep deprivation better than DH so he is completely on his knees. I’m also struggling and we’re both starting to feel dangerously tired. DH doesn’t feel safe to drive.

I know this is just a phase but I’m not sure how we’re going to get through it. We also have another kid to look after now. Whilst baby can’t be laid down and shifts don’t seem to be working, any ideas?

I had to do upright chest sleeping with my newborn for weeks. Used my pregnancy pillow wrapped around to keep myself propped up. I don’t think it’s ideal but definitely safer than sleeping on the sofa. It does get better!

Baby gaviscon from the GP.
Raise the head of the moses basket/crib with books etc.
Keep baby upright in a sling during the day.
If you decide to FF, MAM bottles and normal formula with gaviscon is often better than reflux formula for constipation but lactose can also be prescribed.
Omeprazole is last resort, ask for the liquid and push back when they say no as it’s expensive.

Solidarity.

Oh god, I feel for you, you were me three years ago. My son couldn't latch due to severe tongue tie we had snipped but took months before his tongue could peek from his mouth so he was formula fed husband and I did shifts in the night, found out it was cmpa when he'd been on omeprazole a while (this helped alot in taking pain from reflux) and went on a hydrolysed formula which solved the problem long term. Weamed him off omeprazple.about 10 to 11 months old. It was a time of survival and tbh put us off having another child so I feel for you with a toddler to care for too xx

I experienced this with my first baby. It was a nightmare and I can fully relate. We propped up the cot so it was at an angle. We also held her upright for 20 min after each feed before putting her down. Formula mixed with a thickener helped too. I think breast milk is runnier than formula, so more likely to come up.
Personal choice, but we didn't want to go down the medication route (proton pump inhibitors) but we did try gaviscon infant (didn't help in our case).
Rest assured that it does get much better over time. In our case, much better after 4 months

My son had severe reflux,he was diagnosed at the Brompton hospital in London .
He was prescribed Ranitidine, Domperidone and he slept in a bouncy chair . It was absolutely awful but he is now a very fit 26yr old . He does still take omeprasole occasionally for indigestion.

Please please ignore comments about putting baby to sleep in a car sear or bouncer - this is extremely dangerous for newborns!!!!

You will get through it but your message takes me back to our second 9 years ago and I've never known tiredness like it. She had silent reflux and could not be laid flat and we had a two year old to look after as well We saw a tongue tie specialist which helped, propped up the cot at the head end with books under the feet of the cot. The main one that helped was I cut out all dairy as it was suggested it could be an allergy or intolerance, made a huge difference. You're doing the right thing getting all the info you can. Good luck with it all, it will pass, I know it doesn't feel like it but it will 🙏

I had a very very refluxy baby. You have my utmost sympathy. I had hallucinations I was so tired.

Infacol did nothing for my little one. Some people swear by it.

What made it survivable was prescription reflux meds, elevating the cot so baby was somewhat upright.

We eventually on the advice of our Paediatrician (and very reluctantly) put our baby on their front to sleep. That was the game changer but was a last resort and was on medical advice 10 yrs ago. I don’t suggest it. Just for completeness…

Hope you find something that helps. It’s truly awful. Lack of sleep can definitely be an emergency situation.

Hi Op, is baby sick even if you take all the preventative measures described above? My 2nd baby vomited up every single feed, no matter what I did. I propped the moses basket up, slept upright, sat him up after feeds, used gaviscon / infacol, then had reflux treatments from the hospital, soya milk in case it was a milk allergy. 5 months and eventually turned out he had pyloric stenosis and needed surgery.

If baby continues to vomit after all preventative measures and medications ask about pyloric stenosis!

Ranitidine was fab but not legally prescribed now in UK

My eldest DS is now 17 so I’ll caveat by saying others will likely have much more recent experiences and relevant advice but I wanted to say that when DS1 was a newborn we were in the exact same situation.
I’m not advocating one way or the other but things only improved for him when GP advised we switched onto bottle feeding and added infant gaviscon to each feed which effectively saved all of us.
The sleep deprivation is so intense. I hope you find some solutions soon

I’m considering this as a temporary measure or just on the nights where it feels dangerous to be holding a baby whilst I’m struggling to stay awake. How did you stop doing it/what helped baby eventually not need it?

There are reflux chairs, beds and swings they can be strapped into now. They're not cheap though. Wish they had been about when mine were little.

Overtime it did just improve naturally (over a few weeks/month I think) where her GI tract started to mature and I’d be able to just transfer her to the next2me bed or at least safely co sleep.
But I think where I was so tired and struggled with PPD I didn’t have the capacity to try different things like seeing a cranial osteopath or changing my diet or her formula which in hindsight I should’ve tried!

Chest sleeping I’m sure as you know isn’t recommended for safe sleeping but I was exhausted like you are and just made sure I was slightly elevated with my preg pillow wrapped around me to keep my arms in place. I also had the next2me attached to our bed so if somehow (she never actually did) she rolled off me she wouldn’t roll off the bed and then just clear mattress other side, no covers or anything around us.

Really hope you’re able to get better quality rest soon!

Tbh I would be thinking it’s more than just reflux. I can’t recall the name but I had a thing when I was about 6 weeks where my valve to stomach needed surgery. At such a young age I would probably go to hospital and see what they say - you can really afford to wait around and see.. monitor v carefully how much weight they are gaining and how much they are managing to keep down. I think definitely seek help quite quickly to stay on the side of caution. Xxx

That was what I had - pyloric stenosis! As mentioned by pp above. I honestly think seek further help incase it’s that because it might not improve and could be serious if not treated. I ended up having emergency surgery at about 6/7 weeks old Xo

My youngest had her next to me tilted at an angle and it made the world of difference.

The HV told me off but it was either that of falling asleep holding her.

Take her to a doctor tomorrow. Don't put it off, go and tell them everything.

You poor things, all of you!

Is there anyone at all that could help, like tonight? If you were my sister/friend/cousin I'd be there in a flash.

As another poster has said, reflux is a symptom of something, not a cause. If you are able to, please see a lactation consultant who can also diagnose whether there is a tongue tie. Search for a IBCLC near you online.

If you can, get yourself to an osteopath who specialises in babies. The position in the womb or the birth process can impact on babies’ bodies and cause tension which can impact feeding.

By all means take LO to the GP, but also research any medication yourself and make an informed decision. GPs can be quick to medicate, but

1. medication will treat the symptom but not the root cause
2. a lot of the medications can have side effects. gaviscon for e.g might help with the reflux but a common side effect is constipation.

Absolutely no judgment for anyone who has chosen to medicate their reflux baby, but I chose not to after doing the research.

Look up Cosleepy and how to chest sleep. It is against the NHS guidelines for full disclosure, so again you have to make an informed decision, but it was the only way for me to get any sleep with my LO.

He’s now 7 months and his reflux symptoms have mostly resolved. I think this is due to a combination of tongue tie division and osteopath, and maybe just growing improving latch. We were chest sleeping from 4-5 weeks till he was around 5 months, but I’ve been able to move from chest sleeping to co-sleeping a few months ago.

Sending you solidarity also - it is tough having a reflux baby!!

In the very near term you have got to make sleeping in shifts work. You need to get yourself two three hour slots where dad keeps baby and takes it to a different room. Whatever is happening baby can survive without you for three hours (time them for when baby tends to be least clustery. Could even be during the day. And then pick stretches for dad to sleep and stick to them. If poss enlist grannies to help. None of this will fix reflux but will help you survive next few days. You HAVE to shift sleep properly and you aren’t. (It’s so tough. Bon courage. It’s early days and things will get better)

so sorry you are experiencing this! My friend was breast feeding and drank dill tea and that stopped all colicy/reflux issues with her baby

Same thing happened with our boy. He was vomiting mucus from the birth and he did have reflux after but Gaviscon was a nightmare. It filled his stomach and he lost so much weight so early it was so dangerous. He screamed 24/7 for about a week only passing out with exhaustion.

We then went on PPI meds. They were dosed incorrectly so we went back and form a million times and I am so grateful that an old family doctor called me and said just stop giving the meds. It’s going to be hell for a short period but it will get better I promise.

And it did. So I am forever grateful to that man.

Survival kit - dummy!
Tilt the cot severely.
Yes it’s not safe sleep but he was more at risk of drowning from reflux than he was from ending up at the bottom of his cot. The hospital showed us how to do it with a rolled up towel to make a bum nest.
Upright rocker
Keep upright for 30 mins post feed.

This will end! You will be shattered. But it will end!

🌷

And I don’t agree that reflux is a symptom of something not a cause.

Babies are born with underdeveloped body parts. This is just normal and seen in all parts of the body. The flaps which stop the reflux can simply be underdeveloped. As babe grows the develop and it can be a purely manual issue.