Neighbour banging on window and swearing out of it when kids are in the garden

[LeFxX]

I’m at the end of my tether with it a bit as I suffer badly with anxiety and it’s making me so anxious when we’re all outside. To start I will say I only ever let them out between 11am and 7:30pm at the latest but usually they’re in by 7. Most mornings we’re out as we’re quite a busy family so they’re not even out until 1/2 in the afternoon.

The neighbour in question is the son of the family - a 30 year old jobless man still living with his parents. The parents never, ever say or do anything it’s only the son from his bedroom window as it’s at the back of the house.

He shouts things like ‘FOR FUCK SAKE KEEP IT DOWN MAN’ ‘FUCKING SHUT UP’ or aggressively banging on his window and then slamming it shut. Now I will say I am always ON IT when they are screaming, shouting or arguing and either tell them to stop or take them in because even I don’t want to hear it and despite what this neighbour will say I am actually respectful towards the people who live around us.

He’s never actually said anything directly to us which annoys me, do I just ignore it or go around there? I’m actually okay with coming to a compromise, I’m a reasonable person but I genuinely think I’m being reasonable enough already?

Has anybody else had a situation like this?

I'd go round and speak to him directly. They are kids, playing in their garden at a reasonable hour and both his behaviour and language are unacceptable. The fact he's never said anything to you or done anything other than shout out of his window suggests he's a massive coward. No need to shout, but I'd knock on the door to speak to him, say you're trying to be a good neighbour and be considerate but that, fundamentally, your children are entitled to play outside. He'll likely back down.

Do you get on all right with the parents? If so I'd have a word with them. He sounds like an arse, and it's possible they're well aware he's an arse but not aware he's taking out his general arsery on your children.

This. I’d go round and have a chat first of all, see what they say.

I wouldn't tolerate this behaviour. He's a bully.
I would be straight round to ask what his problem was. If you're wary of confrontation, you could wait and speak to the parents rather than him.

Do you have a dad, brother or uncle who might communicate on your behalf to the half wit? I don't think a man is needed and am notoriously fiercer than my Ex-H ever was but the sad fact is, some men just take a telling better when it's man to man. A potential Plan C.

Sometimes it helps to have a burly 6 ft 4 ins biker in black leather with skulls. Looks pretty scary (although he isnt really) but they dont know that. He terrified my neighbours when they dumped rubbish on my garden.

You expect her to go around to speak to this aggressive man?

Can you not read? Speak to his parents, who’s house it is.

I guess it wouldn't do any good, but if he was shouting and swearing at my children I'd be calling the police. Or tell his parents that if the abuse continues you will call the police. He is totally in the wrong.

What are the parents like, have you a good relationship with them? Given the language and his age I'd say you'll be out of luck in terms of them doing anything.

Give him the finger and ignore.

Are his parents in when it happens? I’d put a camera out there to capture it on video.

Do you know if your neighbours are in social housing? If they are, I’d contact whoever is the landlord, ie local council or housing association. If you can’t go down that route, talking to one of his parents might be a start.

We have this except it an elderly dementia sufferer, she’s cut holes in our fence and calls my children monsters. Even worse the police have been called several times to our home and they are agreeing with her telling me to keep my children inside. I feel like we are living in a nightmare because every time the police come they agree we are doing nothing wrong but we live in an ageing town and it’s best to send children to the park or keep them inside. She’s even called the police on my gardener cutting our lawn!

I'd obviously get my phone out and film him and show his parents. Treat him like the 12 yo he's acting.

Dude could have some kind of mental health issues

However I work at home at times and my next door neighbours kid
.. who is 14

Can be so obnoxious jumping and screaming in his trampoline or in his pool (today due to weather)

Kids are absolutely allowed to have fun but I do think some times the fun can be quieter

Jobless folk don't seem to realise how much their noise effects those who occasionally need quiet

And I know kids make noise but there's a difference with noise and screaming like a banshee

If you want silence to work during the day you go to the (an) office. Homes are for living, offices for work.

You say "you are on it" with your children and noise but obviously not if they're disturbing your neighbour in his home. I'm not condoning his behaviour but obviously your children are being loud.

Children are allowed to,play in their own gardens.

Team children here. Children shouldn’t have to play quietly outdoors so that WFH and unemployed people and night shift workers can have peace.
I hate loud music played outdoors though. Adults can control their noise!

Listen, if kids can’t run around and let off some steam in their own garden then where can they? Especially if it’s not too early or not too late. My guess is your neighbours man baby has been up all night gaming and then wants to sleep all day. I would go round and speak to the parents and politely ask that their son stop swearing at your children. If you don’t get a polite response back at least you’ll know they’re not apologetic. I would Log dates, times, and details of all incidents and maybe call 101 for advice. I think it’s a civil matter but because children are involved and he is swearing at them the Police might go round and have a word. Children playing are going to make noise and if people don’t like it they should buy earplugs.

This is the kind of guy you need around to sort out a nasty bully. They soon shut up when someone bigger and harder challenges them.
I would hazard a guess that this no-mark probably bullies his parents as well

I would definitely be going to speak to him and his parents children are allowed to play in their own garden as long as they are not constantly screaming and shouting because I can’t tolerate that myself. Many years ago now my boys were playing in our garden they were about 4/5 years old and the next door neighbour who had pigeons was in his garden he didn’t realise I was actually sat in the garden and he told my children that they should go in the house and play as they were upsetting his pigeons he got put in his place fairly quickly and he never told my children to go in the house to play again
so glad we sold up and moved a few years later.

I’d have been round the first time and spoke to his parents and told them to control their jobless bum of a son. If it carried on I’d probably send DH round to talk to him himself. Agro men often don’t respond to women but I’ve found if you get a bloke to deal with them it has a higher success rate.

We used to have a neighbour like that when I was a kid and it was really horrible. We had just got a trampoline and I was so excited, but he made me too scared to go out. My mum ended up going round and chewing him out at like 7:30am before she went to work so I guess suddenly me being outside at 10 wasn’t so bad.

What are the odds his parents are living in their house terrified of upsetting him? I’d definitely speak to them but be prepared for the scenario that he’s a bit of a bully in that house too.

I would definitely send my 6ft 4, 200lb husband round there instead of going myself. See if he’s as brave when he’s not yelling at children/women.

Maybe if he got off his lazy arse and got a job he wouldn’t be there to hear it …. no doubt he’s been up all night on his computer and now wants to sleep all day! Probably bullying his parents in the same way!!

Post said he’s jobless