Neighbour banging on window and swearing out of it when kids are in the garden

[LeFxX]

I’m at the end of my tether with it a bit as I suffer badly with anxiety and it’s making me so anxious when we’re all outside. To start I will say I only ever let them out between 11am and 7:30pm at the latest but usually they’re in by 7. Most mornings we’re out as we’re quite a busy family so they’re not even out until 1/2 in the afternoon.

The neighbour in question is the son of the family - a 30 year old jobless man still living with his parents. The parents never, ever say or do anything it’s only the son from his bedroom window as it’s at the back of the house.

He shouts things like ‘FOR FUCK SAKE KEEP IT DOWN MAN’ ‘FUCKING SHUT UP’ or aggressively banging on his window and then slamming it shut. Now I will say I am always ON IT when they are screaming, shouting or arguing and either tell them to stop or take them in because even I don’t want to hear it and despite what this neighbour will say I am actually respectful towards the people who live around us.

He’s never actually said anything directly to us which annoys me, do I just ignore it or go around there? I’m actually okay with coming to a compromise, I’m a reasonable person but I genuinely think I’m being reasonable enough already?

Has anybody else had a situation like this?

Id press the nuclear button and phone the police but is he me tally unstable? That may be a consideration? Not for leeway just will he ramp it up.

I’ll send my husband op, he has told countless people over the years to stop swearing.

I’d be letting the children in the garden at 8am if he’s objecting to it in the afternoon.

Id absolutely NOT be tolerating him swearing at my kids but I’m a gobby bitch who can out swear a sailor.

If you don’t want confrontation, speak to his parents or send a bloke round. Alternatively, note through door saying you won’t tolerate your children being sworn at and will call
the police every time it happens in the future.

How loud was it.

Children noise is fine. But yelling at full pitch and screaming isn't. Depends on how noisy they are.

Maybe he works from home & can’t focus? To be fair you might not find them loud as you become immune to it over time but doesn’t mean others don’t find it irrating.

I'd speak to his parents about his language. If he's still living at home, like a child, then hopefully they will tell him off and he will behave himself. If he's job-free it's not like they're keeping him awake after a nightshift or anything!
Obviously if it's more than just normal kids playing noises and constant screaming/shrieking then I guess he would have room to complain but should address you in a reasonable manner about it.

It’s alright saying your on it but the problem is they’ve pissed him off to a point anything they do now will annoy him
it’s a bit difficult to judge as our really need to witness it there’s kids playing and there’s kids loudly playing shouting instead of talking and shrieking

Swearing at children passively aggressively isn’t on. It’s up to him to come round to you really, but in this situation I’d speak to him and ask if he realises you can hear him swearing at kids. Maybe he does work from home or something and there is a compromise to be made. But as PPs have said, it depends on how loud the kids actually are

Well put it like this, they were kicking a ball around for 20 mins the other day and after 10 mins of it he shouted ‘for fuck sake man keep it down’ which I think is ridiculous. They are small children aged 3 and 1, their kicks of a football are minuscule and they were genuinely just laughing and having fun, no screaming or shouting. So yes, I’m on it and he’s just unreasonable.

Believe me, this guy is the problem. I regular hear his arguing with his mom calling her the C word. Their playing is laughing, giggling and having fun. If they scream, shriek or shout they get a couple of chances to stop before they come in.

Definitely go and speak to him or his parents. I had a neighbour yell at my 5yo once when she was playing in the garden. I sent dd inside and firmly but politely told him not to speak to her like that. She is 5 and she doesn't know you. If you have any issues your wife has my number and can message me or you can just talk to me yourself.

He did come round and apologise tbf and hasn't done it since.

Eta: so I definitely believe you when you say he is the problem. Some people really cannot tolerate any kind of child noise, which is inconvenient for them if they live in the real world, but not your problem. Obviously some child noise really is awful, but I believe you when you say yours is not and he still can't abide it. Some people are just like that

I don't agree with how he is handling it, but noisy children next door have meant we haven't been able to enjoy our garden in the last 5 years. Every time a bit of sun pops out there's shouting, screaming and screeching.

He argues with his parents all the time whilst they both smoke outside and she’s always on at him to find a job and move out. Also hear him raging when playing a game from his bedroom window, he definitely doesn’t have a job.

If your other neighbours were moaning and saying they’re being loud it would be different, but they’re not. Unless you live in a detached house in the middle of nowhere you’re gonna hear your neighbours.

This man is sat in his mum’s house all day, your kids are disturbing him doing what exactly? Being a loser? Do you need total silence for that?

Houses are for living in, neighbours don't owe you a silent working environment.

i think my neighbours over the back fence must have gone away for half term? Because they are the most sociable people I know & have a swimming pool & 'fun' garden. In lovely weather it's usualky very very loud, but today it's silent. Which I'm enjoying. Except I can hear my older next door neighbour (70's) ranting about Starmer. He's a recent Reform convert & anything I say negative about them
he just says not to believe everything I read 🙇🏻‍♀️🙇🏻‍♀️

Children are allowed to play & have fun in their gardens. As long as they're not arguing & actually screaming.

we have a private pathway along our 6 houses, & the neighbours kids run & scooter/skate along & the little ones (pre school age) ride their bikes along & grumpy next door keeps telling them off. I've told him they've got as much right to use it as him & as it's not a bloody retirement village they are under no obligation to walk quietly along it, instead of, well, being children !

HE drives me nuts, the children happily playing, do not!

Tell him to come down here and swear at my kids, who are doing nothing wrong, in front of me. See how many teeth he has left at the end of it. Pathetic, sponging little cunt.

Happy noise from children playing (at 1 & 4 it's not even that loud!) is acceptable in their own garden.

no, he doesn't work, but even if he did that's his problem, they are homes not offices.

Shout back, get a job.