Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Original poster

Would you go on short holiday with baby and leave older child with grandparents?

32 replies

Duv · 14/05/2026 00:30

Would it be wrong to go on a short break abroad with my partner and newborn baby and leave 3 year old with grandparents?

My partner is desperate for a warm destination holiday this year, but pregnancy has scuppered the feasibility of this before baby arrives. Might be able to fly somewhere in later autumn when baby is a few months old, but every time I look into the logistics of this I just can't face all the stuff we will need to bring and a mid-haul flight with a baby and toddler! We already have planned a domestic family holiday that toddler will love.

Wondering if it would be better to just briefly nip off with us and the baby, as logistics will be easier and if it's only a few days I'm not sure toddler will mind. But I would feel really bad...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Contrarymary30 · 14/05/2026 00:33

I used to do this . The older kids loved being with their Nan and it gave us time to give the LO some individual attention. Go for it .

Drivingmissrangey · 14/05/2026 00:33

So just after the baby is born, you want to disappear with that baby and leave your toddler, for whom life as they know has just been turned update side, with someone else?

Are you aiming to make them feel pushed out and abandoned?

suburberphobe · 14/05/2026 00:47

Do not do it.

Chlidren are always nr.1 in your life.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

3 year olds Families General parenting Holidays
Amiunemployable · 14/05/2026 00:49

Drivingmissrangey · 14/05/2026 00:33

So just after the baby is born, you want to disappear with that baby and leave your toddler, for whom life as they know has just been turned update side, with someone else?

Are you aiming to make them feel pushed out and abandoned?

This

Selkie33 · 14/05/2026 00:51

leave the baby, take the toddler?

CrackInTheGlass · 14/05/2026 00:54

As above. You have two kids. Take your two kids on holiday for their benefit, not yours. Your logistics at home should match the same as going away. Baby won’t remember anything but toddler might. It’s not bloody hard to make lists and get prepared in advance. You’d be completely unreasonable to do it as you’ve stated. You should feel bad considering doing this. It wouldn’t even be a cake walk with a small baby, why would you then go on to exclude the toddler?

Happyhappyzoozoo · 14/05/2026 00:56

No, I don’t think any 3yo would take that well when they’ve just been through the upheaval of a new sibling arriving.

lxn889121 · 14/05/2026 01:50

Leaving the 3 year old? No problem for me. I've done it and as long as they have a good relationship with the grandparents its fine. He had a great time and it was really good for their relationship.

But, in this specific context, leaving him and taking the baby? I doubt it will be that relaxing as you will have a baby with you, and as others have said this will already be a confusing time for your 3 year old.

I would tell your partner that you don't "need" a hot holiday. No one needs a hot holiday, and you already have a domestic holiday planned so you aren't going without a holiday. He and you will not suffer if you have to delay your holiday a little bit until a better solution comes along.

Babyenroute · 14/05/2026 02:31

No never, my three year old would want to come with us and leaving them at home might add to the normal new baby jealousy. Why would you have so much stuff? Can you not go somewhere which has cots and things? We did lots of travel with two

Boymama87 · 14/05/2026 03:32

Personally I wouldn’t, esp when you risk them feeling pushed out after the new baby’s arrival. I just took my 5yo, 3yo and 5m old on a hot holiday which included a 12 hr flight. We had the most amazing time. Both the big boys loved seeing their sibling do holiday things for the first time like swimming in the sea, feet on the sand etc. The memories we made as a family are worth any level of stress I felt packing and travelling.

canklesmctacotits · 14/05/2026 03:43

No, I wouldn’t do it and I’d give short shrift to my DH if he placed wanting a beach holiday over leaving his 3yo behind when the rest of the family is together - no matter how wonderful the grand parents are.

lunar1 · 14/05/2026 03:46

No, I wouldn’t ever have done that

Remaker · 14/05/2026 03:47

I think this is very risky. It’s not uncommon for 3 yo’s to experience a lot of jealousy over a new baby. You could be setting yourself up for tantrums, night waking and toilet accidents that will cancel out the minuscule amount of relaxation you gain from holidaying with a small baby. Your partner needs to grow up, sunny holidays are not essential.

ShetlandishMum · 14/05/2026 04:06

No I wouldn't go with a new baby and leave a 3 yo at home.

StephQ1 · 14/05/2026 04:06

Did your partner want children?

PlayingDevilsAdvocateisinteresting · 14/05/2026 04:29

If you can afford it @Duv, how about taking your parents with you so they can help a bit on the holiday, but also, hopefully, have a nice time themselves? Or if your Dad doesn't fancy it, just ask your Mum if she would like to come too, it would give her a great chance to bond with the new baby, and to make her relationship with the older child even stronger. I am a Grandmother, and I would love to do that!

Kittylickingplate · 14/05/2026 04:44

I really depends, how much they love Nan, if they will fret, you just don't know!
I don't think you are terrible for thinking it though.

Peonies12 · 14/05/2026 05:52

Drivingmissrangey · 14/05/2026 00:33

So just after the baby is born, you want to disappear with that baby and leave your toddler, for whom life as they know has just been turned update side, with someone else?

Are you aiming to make them feel pushed out and abandoned?

This. Many children struggle to adjust to a new sibling, understandably. Going away could make it so much worse. Can you all go and bring your parents along to help out?

Stoicandhappy · 14/05/2026 05:56

I can’t imagine a situation where I would do this.

Simonjt · 14/05/2026 05:57

Leave a three year old with grandparents they regularly stay overnight with, yes we would and have done. Leave them after a huge life changing event and take the cute little cause of that life changing event with us, no.

Watercooler · 14/05/2026 05:58

I would bring the grandparents. But personally the thought of a beach holiday would be the last thing I would want to do with a new baby. Having to find enough shade, constant sun cream, breastfeeding with...the sand.

user1492757084 · 14/05/2026 06:05

Phrase it as your 3 year old having a holiday with Gran. The DC3 doesn't need to know about the hot holiday.
Trial your oldest having two nights at Gran's soon. If the DC3 adored the holiday, plan to repeat while you are on a hot holiday.

I would not consider leaving them home unless they love staying with Gran.
An alternative is to take a grandparent with you.

DangerQuakeRhinoSnake · 14/05/2026 06:06

Absolutely not. Unless you want to give 3yo a complex for life? It's such a sensitive age!

You won't really have 'fun' holidays again for some time. You'll just be parenting in a different place.

ChateauProvence · 14/05/2026 06:32

No I wouldn’t put a holiday over my 3 year old feeling completely pushed out just after I’d had a baby . I can’t believe anyone would either consider this. You will now be a family of four so you either go away as a family of four or if it’s too much hard work don’t go

moose62 · 14/05/2026 06:33

I took my 4 year old away for a week and left my 6 month old with my mother. I had a terrible birth and a bad 6 weeks afterwards and if had affected my 4 year old so I felt they needed quality time with me.
Grandma loved having the baby and luckily it worked out well.