Would you go on short holiday with baby and leave older child with grandparents?

[Duv]

Would it be wrong to go on a short break abroad with my partner and newborn baby and leave 3 year old with grandparents?

My partner is desperate for a warm destination holiday this year, but pregnancy has scuppered the feasibility of this before baby arrives. Might be able to fly somewhere in later autumn when baby is a few months old, but every time I look into the logistics of this I just can't face all the stuff we will need to bring and a mid-haul flight with a baby and toddler! We already have planned a domestic family holiday that toddler will love.

Wondering if it would be better to just briefly nip off with us and the baby, as logistics will be easier and if it's only a few days I'm not sure toddler will mind. But I would feel really bad...

So you want to go abroad with your partner and shiny new baby and leave the difficult toddler at home? How lovely of you.
You should feel bad for even considering it.

Absolutely not.

Nope, I wouldn't have done it. There's a real danger your toddler will feel pushed out by this new baby who is taking up all your time and attention.

Will it really feel like a holiday for you? You have to be really careful with newborns in hot sun, and there's a chance they'll be cluster feeding or something. Personally I'd put my recovery and my children before my partner's "wants" and save the holiday for next year. Would it really be a few days? By late autumn you'll have to go a bit further afield to get guaranteed sun and going a long way for a few days seems pointless. He's really not thinking of you, as a recently postpartum mum, and how stressful this could be.

Do it.

Why not take the grandparents with you so they can help with childcare whilst you're there?

No, I don’t think I would. But no reason your partner can’t have a holiday. I’d go off on solo holidays all the time even when dc were young (but no longer bf). Your partner could do the same or go with a friend and then you get your turn when baby is old enough to leave with partner. It won’t exactly be enjoyable with a young baby in tow anyway.

This isn't something I'd entertain doing tbh OP. New baby and a 3 year old you risk pushing the 3 year old out hugely and it will affect them or their relationship/bond with the new baby.

When is the baby due? Is there no way you could get a few days abroad with your toddler whilst your pregnant? Travelling with young children really isn't as bad as you might believe. We have travelled many times mid and long haul with ours whilst they were young. We travelled to Cuba when our youngest was 3 months old, middle one was 3 and eldest 7 and honestly the most difficult part was messing with the buggy at security but it took 5 minutes. You get fast tracked through family lanes with young kids and the staff are usually very accommodating.