Moving 8 week old to own room or keep beside me?

[SpookyTeacup]

I'm torn. DD is 8 weeks old and sleeping through the night. I've been contemplating moving her into her own room as I feel like I'm disturbing her. Shes in a next to me bed with the sides up, but migrates towards me during the night which results in her smushing her face up the fabric side and I'm awake all night terrified she's gonna suffocate herself. No matter how many times I move her back to the middle, or the opposite end, or put her at an angle, she manages to find her way back. She sleeps through the night and is able to self soothe back to sleep if she does briefly wake up. No crying, just some leg kicking and a few grunts.

She slept in her own room last night (with her grandma) and stayed in the middle all night and happily slept through. I'm wondering if I'm interrupting her sleep and if she'll be better in her own cot, but then the guidelines worry me thinking I'm going to kill her if I put her in there under 6 months.

Either way I feel like a bad mum.

Most babies are like that

Both DC were in their own room by 8 weeks and we didn’t even have a baby monitor. Just saying.

He's 1 now and we never did figure out a way to stop it. His older sister used to turn full 180 degrees in her crib from about 2 weeks old and I didn't know what to do about that either! These babies honestly.

We did (and still do with the youngest) use Angelcare mats under their mattresses to give us some peace of mind. We had a slightly different flatter one for use in the Tutti Bambini crib. We never had issues with false alarms as some people seem to but it does have to be configured correctly to avoid this issue. Also, people will say they're pointless unless you know what to do if the alarm went off and something had happened, which is true, but it will also alert you to any pause in breathing longer than 10 seconds and allow you to attend to your baby and help if you can which in my opinion was better and helped me relax more than the idea of just leaving baby to it and waking up to something unthinkable hours later.

Don’t leave the baby alone at night. She’s too small. Either get your husband to leave the room, or you and baby go together to another room.

Thing is, you’ll get plenty of people on a thread like this who said that they did it and their babies were totally fine. Which will, by and large, be true because the risk of SIDS is relatively low overall especially if you minimise all your other risk factors. I think, from memory, that SIDS risk also peaks around 3/4 months. Ultimately, it’s a question that only you can answer as to how much risk you will ‘tolerate’. My tolerance level when it came to SIDS risk was pretty low because I felt it necessary to do everything I could to lower that risk, even if it meant I was increasing other risks - for example, the risks of exhaustion for me.

No don’t move her to her own room

SIDS is prevented by your breathing regulating hers (theories about it being your carbon dioxide being breathed out)

Mine shuffled and snorted and grunted all night. (2 days old). She was in her own room straight away

Keep with you. It’s safer.

There IS a manual on when to move them into another room though - read the SIDS advice and the NHS advice on sleeping in their own room.

Thank-you, my two babies are most definitely not babies anymore but you are the first person ever to actually explain the cause of the 4 mth sleep regression. 🙂

Far to young but I'm glad your blessed with a good sleeper all of ours were like that and still are. We had a travel cot in our room as was to small for a full size then they moved over to there own around 4mnths

I cannot remember the exact weeks but my children were all in their own room after about 8 weeks . Everyone slept better.

Pretty much everyone I know in real life who didn’t cosleep had their babies sleeping by themselves by 3-4 months. Yes, there is the increased SIDS risk but the risk of SIDS in general is extremely small if you’re doing all the other things they tell you (no alcohol, no smoking, safe sleep environment, etc.). You have to also consider the increased risk of something unsafe happening when you’re completely sleep deprived - which makes you more likely to crash your car, make poor decisions, etc. I would move the baby out in your shoes.

She must have read this thread as she's still currently positioned in the middle of her next to me bed 🤦‍♀️ the first time in 8 weeks.

@Watcher2026 only two things she cares about; sleep and food. My mum said she's exactly like I was as a baby and that we were all good sleepers. Definitely feeling lucky given the hell some parents go through.

Some people drive without a seatbelt and don’t die, just saying.

Some people smoke 20 a day and don’t get cancer, just saying.

Some people are idiots but lucky, just saying.

All three of mine went into their own rooms, as I couldn’t sleep with them next to me. This was in a modern house, the room next door and both doors open. Nothing bad happened.

See my post above. Just because your kids got lucky doesn’t mean what you did wasn’t unsafe and against all the guidance.

Look at the shape of babies noses and nostrils, as demonstrated by the poster who put up a very cute baby picture doing the same thing. The baby will not suffocate on the fabric side because the fabric is taught and smooth, and the babies nostrils are not in any way covered or stopping airflow into the nostril. Completely different to loose blankets and cot bumpers.

Leave the baby in your room in the crib, stop moving and disturbing them and if you’re still waking up panicking that the baby may not be breathing at 8 weeks you may need to see someone out your anxiety because that level of worry isn’t normal.

Thanks but sometimes you have to adjust what you do, to cope. I couldn’t sleep with them next to me. I mean I couldn’t actually sleep. When every other guideline is followed then having my babies sleep close, in a cot, lying on their back, was the best thing for us.

Guidelines are that babies are safest in their own cot, yet many parents choose to co-sleep.

Guidelines are guidelines.

There are plenty of ways to make co sleeping safer, there is not plenty of ways to make baby in their own room safer. OP can sleep next to her baby? Her situation is different to yours so the safest way is for her to stay in the room with her baby, wether that be moving into her baby’s room her rearranging their own room.

It’s great nothing bad happened to your children, but obviously that isn’t the case for everyone.

You decided to go against the guidelines in your own situation - obviously with very limited knowledge about why the guidelines are what they are, as you seem to think it’s relevant that your door was open and your house was “modern”.

Since OP is in a completely different situation your situation is irrelevant and actively unhelpful.

I wouldn't like that but if it works for you and you have a good monitor, I guess go for it. Assume you're not breastfeeding?

Sorry just seen you are feeding. You're probably right it's the smell of your milk. I'm a little envious OP, my two breastfed babies were co-sleepers until 2 because DS refused to not be touching me and with DD I wanted an easier life so did it again!

I would but then both of mine slept in their own room from day 1 - I had hearing like a bat and just cannot sleep if they were in with me. As long as you are close by and not a super heavy duty sleeper so likely to wake up, then it will be fine. It doesn’t sound like she is very comfortable. Good luch with whatever you decide.

The NHS guidelines are clear:

Safer sleep
It's lovely to have your baby with you for a cuddle or a feed, but it's safest to put them back in their cot before you go to sleep.
The safest place for your baby to sleep for the first 6 months is in a cot, lying on their back, in the same room as you.