Moving 8 week old to own room or keep beside me?

[SpookyTeacup]

I'm torn. DD is 8 weeks old and sleeping through the night. I've been contemplating moving her into her own room as I feel like I'm disturbing her. Shes in a next to me bed with the sides up, but migrates towards me during the night which results in her smushing her face up the fabric side and I'm awake all night terrified she's gonna suffocate herself. No matter how many times I move her back to the middle, or the opposite end, or put her at an angle, she manages to find her way back. She sleeps through the night and is able to self soothe back to sleep if she does briefly wake up. No crying, just some leg kicking and a few grunts.

She slept in her own room last night (with her grandma) and stayed in the middle all night and happily slept through. I'm wondering if I'm interrupting her sleep and if she'll be better in her own cot, but then the guidelines worry me thinking I'm going to kill her if I put her in there under 6 months.

Either way I feel like a bad mum.

My DS use to roll over to the carry cot side when it was beside our bed. He would suckle the padded side. There was no risk. He’s now 21 so obviously never came to any harm.
He has always slept like a log once asleep. You could have a disco in the room and he wouldn’t stir. Even now he often has a fan on in his room for white noise.

When I sold the carry cot I couldn’t get the stain out of the padded lining. When I sold the carry cot I had to explain to the buyer what the mark was and that I’d washed it 3-4 times. She thought it was lovely.
I also have a small hand print on our bedroom wall that I’m reluctant to paint over.

My eldest slept through at 8 weeks
Then not again from 18 weeks to 9 months
There's no way however I'd have had them in a separate room before 6 months as per safe sleeping advice. Not a risk worth taking imo

No chance. If she's sleeping through already you can't be disrupting her surely?

We moved our dd into her room at 8 weeks as she also slept through at that age… but I slept in there with her too as we had a bed in there, aswell as her cot.

We had a Next to Me and we always felt our son was moving towards us in the night. Turns out it wasn't fitted / attached to our bed quite correctly. It was on a very slight tilt towards our bed which couldn't really be seen by the eye - could this be the case?

Keep her in with you and swap sides with your husband.

One of mine did this all the time. This was around 2 months old so about the same age as your little one (I don't know if the photo will show). No matter how many times we moved him he would go back to doing it. On a lot of scans he had his face pressed up against my anterior placenta so maybe it was comforting or something?? 😂 I didn't breastfeed and he did it even when on my husband's side of the bed and also when we had the crib turned at a right angle to the bed too.

I wouldn't move baby yet due to SIDS risk tbh. Mine were all between 8 months and 1 year before being moved including my twins who I later wondered if sharing a room with each other would have counted for reducing the risk!

I’m trying extremely hard not to be jealous of your baby’s sleep!

But no, I wouldn’t move into her own room. My baby is an awful sleeper, but at 8 weeks she was still pausing in breathing. It was audible. She needed us there to regulate it.

I would swap sides with your partner if he’s up for it. See if it helps.

My suggestion is you buy a cheap, single bed on Facebook marketplace and put that in her room if you want her to be in her cot. Then you can sleep in the same room as her without any face smooshing into fabric and without having to be away from her.

8 weeks old is too young. They still rely on your breathing to regulate their own.

Is someone pressuring you into this?

NHS says 6 months but the risk of SIDs drops heavily from 4 months so I moved my two out into their big cot in another room then and it worked well for me(they slept through the night). By the way, the main reason they think being in the same room helps with SIDs is because the babies don't sleep as deeply and so don't drift into too dep asleep from which they can't arouse themselves - so yes, your baby probably is sleeping better in a room without you. Also, SIDs risks are super low if babies have nothing else wrong and are in a safe sleep environment so don't overthink it too much.

Can you put her in a carry cot?
DD slept in her Bugaboo pram for 6 months - DH just carried it upstairs every night and we popped it on the chest of drawers next to me. Then she moved into cot and I slept in a double bed in her room until I felt ok leaving her -which wasn’t very long since I was only about 15 steps away next door!
She was totally safe in her pram - nice high sides that protected her from draughts etc.
Hood up or down depending on if it was light at bedtime or not. I think the hood made her feel safe - she has always liked the feeling of being enclosed.

@littleorangefox this is exactly what she's doing! The bed looks identical too. Have you found if hes still able to breathe or have you found a solution to stop him sleeping like that?

DD was also an anterior placenta baby and is breastfed so maybe I have no hope. She was golden in her own bed last night and didnt move to the side at all!

Just terrified of her suffocating, if I hear her grunting in her sleep I think she can't breathe, and when shes silent I think shes stopped breathing. I'm constantly flicking my bedside light on to check and moving her in her cot. Although surely they wouldn't make a bed with sides that the baby could suffocate on?? 😫

Could you move a piece of furniture or of the room temporarily. Sounds like you want to move her, if you feel that's what's right for you could you sleep in there with her. I wouldn't of been in a different room to either of mine at that age, she's still tiny.

Try getting an owlet so that even if you are worried about her smooshing herself up you can sleep easier?

Yes, DD by scaring me to death every night 😂

I'm just trying to outweigh the pros and cons of it all. So many people (in person) have admitted to moving them around 12 weeks, but general consensus on here is to wait.

Just trying to do right by DD. First time doing it all - why do they not come with manuals!

Oh fuck me shes not moving for milk

Ah bless you. Tbh it depends on the risk you're comfortable taking. It'll probably be fine, but if it's not you'd never forgive yourself. There have been some awful stories in news recently which brings it back to reality.

Have you got a spirit level? Check if the n2m is tilted first of all.

And even if she's sleeping beautifully now, you've still got the 4 month sleep regression to look forward to 😅

Our bedroom is really tiny so no chance of moving any furniture.

Her room is next door to ours, her bed sharing the wall between our rooms, both doors would be open and a baby monitor on the go.

The next to me is a Tutti Bambini, we keep the sides up and a small path between our bed and hers. Only one side has mesh on it, but there's about 4-5 inches at the bottom where there is no mesh, this is what she's pushing her face up against (same as previous posters image). Thinking about it though, surely a well known baby range wouldn't create a bed that wasn't breathable all the way around? Surely it would've caused some deaths by now and be recalled given cot bumpers are highly not recommended?

This is where I feel I can't win, whatever happens in either room I'd never forgive myself. If she suffocated herself, I'd be kicking myself for not moving her. Likewise the other way round.

She's been amazing from day 1 - had to wake her for feeds every 2 hours until she hit her weight then HV said to just let her sleep and feed on demand. I was then waking her every 4 hours because I was concerned she wasn't waking for food, then started just letting her sleep. She's been gaining an hour of sleep every few days and now she'll happily do 8.5hours+. I'm praying she doesn't have a bad sleep regression and there's nothing to regress! 😂* *

Why could I hoover without waking baby?

Yes, I see what you mean. I had a chicco crib and it didn't have this, from memory. I am a worrier so I would get an owlet sock. You can get them second hand. I sold mine on vinted when my second baby was 8 months old.

Haha the 4 month sleep regression is when they move from 2 sleep cycles (basically on/off) to a mature sleep cycle (4 stages like an adult) and that can be difficult to adjust to. Then they start teething. Then get ill. Etc.

I don't mean to put you off, just be aware that this might not last and enjoy it while you can.

My DD (now 2) was just like this. I went crazy from sleep deprivation watching her sleep. The only way she would sleep was pressed up against the side and I can still feel the fear now! People couldn’t understand why I was so tired when she was sleeping so great! I also woke her up when I turned over, went for a wee etc. but that’s fairly normal. She continued like it until she was 5 months and then all hell broke loose and she just stopped sleeping. It was abysmal and came out of nowhere and I’ve never been that tired in my life. All babies are so different but yes, everyone’s right, baby needs to stay next to you for their safety. Check the beds set up right and is level. One day this will all just be a bad memory :)

If you've bought a cot that meets British safety standards, and haven't added anything to the bed, it's not going to be possible for an 8 week old to suffocate themselves in it.

They didn't do SIDS research on your specific baby 😂

If you’re worried about her not breathing and checking on her, how will you do that on another room??
The sids guidelines are beckase hearing your breath and the breathing in yoir room stimulates them to keep breathing.

we still have our 19month old on our room and wearing an owlet sock too!

It isn’t safe when the baby is so young.