Hi All,
I have previously posted about this ongoing issue and this is a continuation of that. Sorry about the length of the post!
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/parenting/5504769-urgent-advice-dd-refused-to-go-in-to-primary-school-this-morning-due-to-threats-of-violence
In brief, DD has been bullied at her new school and the school haven’t dealt with it resulting in threats of violence from a child and the teacher making abhorrent comments including that if she continued to make accusations of bullying she would be banned from playing with other children, and she wouldn’t be supported at secondary school.
She had a lovely Easter break but has dreaded going back to school and got very upset on Sunday night.
The comments, shoves, efforts to leave her out or embarrass have continued none stop and the teacher’s done nothing.
DD11 came home yesterday and told us there had been a whole-class ball game which resulted in these three girls screaming and shouting at her, but today we got a call from the new head that there had been an incident and we needed to come in to school.
It was a meeting with the head, the awful teacher and my daughter (partner and I) in a small room. DD11 had her head down and was teary when we went in.
The teacher started by reading a statement “my daughter had written” which explained the incident which started with her and one of these girls bumping in to each other. The girl stormed off so my DD took herself away to avoid a row. This girl then followed her and was mocking her calling her a baby.
They both went to a piece of equipment but DD went to a different area of it to stay away from the three bullies, and hid under it. They then proceeded to harass her, climb over her and “accidentally” kick her. The teacher said DD admitted she was in their way (DD told us on the way home the teacher had added this and she wasn’t in their way, they’d purposefully followed her). She asked them to stop and then she was kicked in the face quite hard by the original girl and called a baby when she cried.
I’m not condoning it but DD snapped and kicked her back in the leg, DD was shoved and called names and then one of these others joined in, shoved and kicked DD whilst the third shouted insults at DD. DD grabbed the second girls arm to stop her and scratched her arm (they all agree accidentally but she admits she was also angry when it happened). This girl then ran to the teachers and we got called in (not their parents).
The teacher presented this and then continued as if we all of course agreed this was all DD fault. lol and she needed help with anger management. I stopped her, asked for the copy of the statement and pointed out all the times DD had removed herself from the situation, that this was three on one and where the bloody hell were the teachers? I don’t condone the scratching but what do they expect her to do if the teachers aren’t going to protect her?
The head asked if they were usually friends and the teacher jumped in and said they occasionally had little falling out. DP made it clear we have made several complaints about serious bullying, they are not friends and this is an ongoing problem.
I also said it was inappropriate to have this discussion in front of DD especially considering the effect of the comments made at the last meeting. Before I’d even finished the teacher jumped in raising her voice saying “I absolutely did not make those comments!” Calling me a liar. I looked at her in disbelief and the head, to her credit, looked a bit sceptical of the teacher’s response too and suggested we have another mmm meeting in the week without the teacher.
DP also pointed out that their interpretation and placing of blame was bizarre considering what we’d just heard.
The head wants a meeting with us on Thursday (hopefully without the teacher) once she’s looked through the notes made by the teacher. I pointed out no minutes from any meeting had been sent us to agree with.
DD is terrified about going back to school and being in this teacher’s class tomorrow.
I made a point of saying that DD does not trust any of them after their failure to deal with the bullying and we have serious concerns about her safety and well-being under their care. I asked what they would do to ensure her safety at school between now and Thursday and the head assured us staff would be extra vigilant.
Does anyone know if we can withdraw DD from school and skip her SATs, or taken them privately?