Would you let a 4 year old play unsupervised in the garden with water table?

[wishIwasonholiday10]

My husband and I had a disagreement about this. Would you let an almost 4 year old play unsupervised in the garden with a water table and mud kitchen? The garden is fully fenced with no access to the street.

We both agree no unsupervised play with a paddling pool but disagree on the water table.

That is on there so you can't Sue them 😊

How has life changed so much … I was walking to and from school on my own at 4 .. admittedly in the same road in the 70s … now kids aren’t allowed to play in their own garden without supervision 🤷🏼‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Some of these replies… jeez. ‘Anything’ could not happen. If im
going to let my four year old play unsupervised- and I do, as often as he’s willing to, because it’s an incredibly important skill to have and they don’t develop it while you hover over them requiring them to constantly interact with you. It’s called deep level playing , and it’s one of the reasons I got so frustrated working in a nursery- you’re supposed to ask them questions about their play all the time. So for example, a child immersed in playing with the dollies- happy as anything, totally engaged- and you’re supposed to go over and say ‘oh! Are the dollies having a nice day? Are they wearing their sun hats?’ For a lot of children that totally breaks the little imaginary world they’ve just created and lots of them would just stop and go and play with something else. Sometimes you really need to let them be. I think we’ve forgotten how to let children play.

My four year old, like lots of four year olds, is so incredibly chatty and curious and needing constant information it’s not too often he does immerse himself independently with his dinosaurs or whatever in a little world he’s constructed but when he does you bet I’m backing away as quick as I can and leaving him to it. I can imagine he’d much prefer to focus independently on playing with something like a water table! He’d definitely not need me physically there right behind him, I’d use the time to do a few quick jobs and have a cup of coffee! Like with most children, if all goes completely quiet you know to go and check on them although 9/10 this just means they’re doing something they know they’re not supposed to be doing…

If outside though then doesn’t everyone do a quick risk assessment - I check for animal poo, garden tools left out etc…that’s just basic. If you’ve done that then no, there’s minuscule risk to playing unsupervised with a little water table.

You can’t eradicate the risk for everything but you can teach your children a few necessary skills like imagination and independence and for that, sometimes you need to back off a bit!

I can see where the mental health crisis in kids and teens is coming from based on some responses here.

What could you possibly sue them for if they’re so safe?

Yes, although if shes anything like my two she'll last 10 minutes and be back inside. We do live in a windy and cold Scottish town mind you.

I would be happy to schools have risk assessments in place and quite vigourous ones too. Also, they have high fences not left out in a garden with a short fence by the sounds of this post. If you’d worked in a school, you would know children are usually within eyesight and for a good reason.

I definitely encourage independent play inside and don’t bother her if she is playing happily as I do think it’s important.

We are only just starting to play in the garden and get the garden toys out again.

The risk assessment would be something like this:

The garden has fences on 2 sides and a hedge on the other (a determined child could crawl through to the neighbours yard as there is a small gap in the hedge but DD has never tried to do this). There are possibly risks in the neighbours yard as there is a stream running behind the houses (fenced off securely in our yard) but the risk of her going there is very small as the gap in the hedge is small. We do get foxes but I doubt they would come during the day if DD was as playing.

There shouldn’t be garden tools left out but there is the hose and the garden may have animal poop as we have cats that sometimes poop on the grass and it can be hard to keep on top of it.

I have and currently work in a school.

I was informed by a nursery worker friend that Ofsted hugely encourage kids moving freely between indoor and outdoor areas (i.e. not being told ‘now its outdoor time’). Although there would be a member of staff watching outside in a nursery/pre-school, if the outdoor areas have multiple playing areas (playhouse, mud kitchen, water tables, climbing toys etc), there is no way even several staff could have their eyes on all children. As parents, we send our children to nursery to learn independence as a life skill and there is a risk with everything we ever do in life. Going to the park is a risk, riding a bike is a risk, playing in the sea is a risk but the benefits far outweigh the risks.

Playing outside in a secure garden, being regularly checked on, carries with it the tiniest risk which is far outweighed by raising a child who knows how to play independently. Before they go out, you would check you haven’t left the chainsaw/lawn mower/weed killer out, do a quick check of the garden (if its likely theres anything ypu might have left out) and let them enjoy their safe garden.

I say this politely op - if you’re going to even worry for a second about foxes attacking your child in the day, I would say you need to look at whether you have anxiety as that is not rational thinking. In 6 years (possibly slightly less depending on the area you live in), they will be walking to school alone, meeting friends in the park etc and you dont want worries to take over their childhood fun.

I am not worried about foxes. I was just responding to a previous post mentioning them.

ND is a fairly large umbrella. The vast majority of ND would be fine like NT. It's only those with intellectual difficulties that would be an issue....as it would be for NT with intellectual difficulties.

Sorry didn’t see that bit but no one can seriously even consider that a worry in tgis thread. I’d worry more about an Iranian missile falling on my house (which isn’t going to happen)😁 than a 4 year old playing in a safe garden with a water table.

Yes

The child is 4. At some schools, 4 year olds will be playing on the big field in the summer term with all the other kids. They will be at significantly less risk if they can cope with wet and slippy conditions and have some experience of which plants are dangerous. The children who have never been allowed near a stinging nettle, for example, are usually the ones who rush straight into them at lunchtime or during forest school. They need to be able to manage some level of risk independently and for that they need to experience things without an adult guiding them at all times.

@Holidaymodeon do we not learn anything from serious safeguarding reviews and coroners courts and frequent horrendous drowning headlines?

I think there's a big difference between a table with some water in it and an outdoor river or pond where drowning is a real risk.

what if they run toward it and trip? what if they slip and fall face down into it? what if they try and climb on it ? what if they decide to blow raspberries in there and choke?

I guess I should never go outside then. I might slip and fall face down into a puddle and drown.

Everything you describe is theoretically possible, but there is a far higher likelihood of your child dropping dead due to an undiagnosed cardiovascular condition.

The astonishing thing is that every parent who thinks the way you do drives a massive stupid-looking SUV for "safety" even though SUVs pose a massive risk to children's safety, and many children die each year due to SUVs.

A 4 year old absolutely (but depends on the 4 yo of course). Not a 2 year old.