Autistic child and finding holidays difficult.

[Cel77]

Holidays are so tough. I'm lucky I'm a teacher as I can be home with my two children (6 years old DD and 10 years old DS).However, these are the issues:

• my son is autistic, has a very limited range of play and would spend the whole day on Minecraft if I wasn't heavily involved.
• he's never been interested in playing with his sister . It's such a shame as she'd love that.
• he's saying no to every single activity I suggest. Sometimes, I'll strike gold with a Minecraft themed activity like making a list of the Minecraft characters, or drawing a map of it...
• my DD needs a lot of involvement from me again when we're "just" at home otherwise she finds screens are her "go to" activity
• I still need to go shopping, clean and tidy (nothing crazy here, I do what needs doing that's all), deal with our admin, and of course plan meals they'll eat ,cook and the rest.
• there's no family to help us around
• we're on a fairly tight budget

I try to.plan for activities outside the house every day. We sometimes do things with my daughter's friends and their parents. Very occasionally, I'll take our son and one of his two friends somewhere. Very occasionally, the favour will be reciprocated. My son finds social anything very difficult, even with close family (when we see them) and friends. All of these "playdates" are mostly organised by me. It's tiring, and makes me feel lonely.

My daughter likes crafts, drawing, baking, playgrounds etc...She plays non stop when she has a friend here. However, we can't do that everyday and I feel like I'll go mad trying to organise everything so that everyone is happy. I'm taking myself out of the equation really. I run on very little most of the time and holidays can be tough.

I'm looking for ideas I've not thought about yet (possibly). How can I encourage them to do things independently when they're "bored" (not screen related), knowing they won't play together.

Thanks

Can you divide the DC between you when DP is also off? Take one each for some 1:1 time?

Then DP should be able to have them both at least half the time so you can catch up with whatever else you need to do?

Maybe he already does, but your posts make it seem like you are doing all the holiday childcare…

My son is a bit older but I pay him to do chores like mowing the lawn. He spends all his earnings on computer games!

School holidays are harder for autistic kids because the routen disappears, and that's often what holds everything together. So, you're dealing with a legitimate meltdown trigger.
A few things that help: First, don't fight the Minecraft. If that's his decompression, let it be. Autistic brains need downtime more than neurotypical ones, and forcing constant "holiday fun" often backfires. An hour of Minecraft then an hour of something smaller (a walk, a snack, a film together) is a perfectly good day.
Second, if you try activities, keep them predictable and low-key. Fairgrounds and theme parks are sensory nightmares, too loud, too crowded, too much "supposed to have fun" pressure. A quiet beach, a farm visit, a local pool during quiet hours, or even just a picnic in the park work far better because he can control his pace.
Third, if you ever do want to try a proper holiday away, it's doable,but only if it's structured around what he needs, not around typical holiday stuff. Many families assume their autistic kids won't travel, then find that the right setup, quiet accommodation, familiar foods, space to decompress, actually works brilliantly because everything's predictable again.
For now, you're doing fine. Surviving the six weeks with everyone intact is a win.
(Full disclosure: I plan travel specifically for neurodivergent families, so I've seen exactly how holidays can work when they're built the right way. But not every family needs to go anywhere, and that's absolutely okay too, I am a mum of autisic son and I have ADHD.)

I’ve got 2 with ASD (12yr and 14yr).

I’ve tended to compromise on the amount of organised activities ( plus I can only afford so much). If I ask them what they want to do I get 100% no useful feedback so I space out some pre-booked activities that I know they will actually love so they are non-negotiable- I’ve already paid! We have plans for 10 days holiday, an inflatable aquapark on a lake, go karting and a massive slip-n-slide. A visit to grandparents. Maybe kayaking.

but I’m not overwhelming them, they have rest days before and after. And they will have too much screen time, I know this but with some games (esp Minecraft) they can actually learn - my son is making escape rooms powered by red stone and see if I can solve them.

Tbh a foreign student shouldn't be used to fix issues. They are teenagers you have a responsibility for and you can't expect them to play with an asd child

I don't think you read my suggestion very carefully...