Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Am I a mean mum

65 replies

Userjal · 01/04/2026 09:58

I’m new to this - my child has a friend from school over to play today as it’s the school holidays, all pre arranged. My child normally plays with a couple of the neighbourhood kids on the street, they come and call and they all play together. Obviously I can’t be responsible for my child’s friend to play on the street so. The kids that normally play together came knocking this morning and i politely sent them away. They looked at me like a was cruel and looked real upset. Surely I can’t be expected to have everyone playing on my house. I’m a people pleaser so feel awful haha

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

jetlag92 · 02/04/2026 22:48

No idea of the topic - but if you know you're an overthinker - then assume you're over thinking stuff.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/04/2026 23:18

EdithBond · 02/04/2026 21:22

Interesting how times change.

What’s now called ‘overthinking’ used to be called ‘thoughtful’.

Show quote history

I don't think so. Overthinking is more like ruminating and second-guessing oneself. Thoughtful is one and done.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/04/2026 23:19

jetlag92 · 02/04/2026 22:48

No idea of the topic - but if you know you're an overthinker - then assume you're over thinking stuff.

Just commenting on the thread title then?
Helpful. 🙄

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

5128gap · 02/04/2026 23:23

You did the right thing. And you overcame you desire to people please to do the right thing. So good all round.

Nuffpillllls · 03/04/2026 00:01

My daughter is a very relaxed Mum but the rules for her daughter is that she can play outside with other children but not go into each other’s house. All other parents agree.

Rpop · 03/04/2026 08:03

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/04/2026 23:18

I don't think so. Overthinking is more like ruminating and second-guessing oneself. Thoughtful is one and done.

Show quote history

True.

But this OP wasn’t overthinking. OP is being thoughtful. Nothing worse than the host parent taking decisions that would be considered irresponsible by some families.

Alip1965 · 03/04/2026 09:19

Thats what we do ...

Shirley091025 · 04/04/2026 23:14

Buffalogruffalo · 01/04/2026 14:00

Way ott half the fun of visiting friends is meeting their friends. People like you make the world a colder less friendly place

bit harsh !!!
”make the world a colder place ?” Chill out .. the OP came here to ask if she’d been unreasonable ( She wasn’t btw!) not to get slammed like that 😡

SweetnsourNZ · 05/04/2026 06:40

amoamas · 01/04/2026 15:14

As well as not letting kids do stuff that you're not sure their parents will be keen on, it's also nice for the visiting kid to feel that they're the main character that day - being looked after and hosted is important for developing self-esteem, and for the kid whose house it is, it's about learning how to look after their friend and be responsible for them enjoying themselves.

And for your child to have some special time with their guest.

SweetnsourNZ · 05/04/2026 06:42

Moonnstarz · 01/04/2026 17:04

I agree it was right to say no. I would be annoyed if my child had been invited by a friend for a playdate if they came home saying lots of other children came in too (if I was unaware of this) and that the host child then didn't play with them.
I think it's fine to have a casual gathering if you are happy with that approach, but if hosting a playdate then you are right to turn down random callers.

Yes, sometimes it affects the dynamics and your child could even end up getting left out.

SweetnsourNZ · 05/04/2026 06:48

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/04/2026 23:18

I don't think so. Overthinking is more like ruminating and second-guessing oneself. Thoughtful is one and done.

Show quote history

I think overthinker sounds better than neurotic.

NavyTurtle · 15/04/2026 10:37

Buffalogruffalo · 01/04/2026 14:00

Way ott half the fun of visiting friends is meeting their friends. People like you make the world a colder less friendly place

What a horrid comment

NavyTurtle · 15/04/2026 10:39

Goldfsh · 02/04/2026 11:15

If it's a cul-de-sac then I'd just throw them all out to play, without a second thought.

It's very interesting that on the "screen-time" threads, parents complain that kids aren't allowed out to play like in 'the old days', but the same parents then prevent their kids from playing out when the opportunity presents itself!

If other parents care, then they won't send their DC around again! Personally I'd think there's nothing more depressing than a 'play date' where they sit inside on screens.

Not all children are street wise and aware of traffic. Some may live in busy areas and not be used to playing out. Who said anything about children being on screens?

isthesolution · 15/04/2026 10:40

No I just say - oh they are busy until (whatever time) but you can call on them then.

britcheshemisphere · 15/04/2026 10:53

I don't think you have done anything wrong at all OP and just shows by the kids faces that their not used to hearing "no" from you.

All I would say is it would depend on your DC's age and that of the friend they have over tbh. My DS is 10 and recently I've allowed him to play out when his friend has been over and they have both gone out together. Having said that I a also very good friends with his mum too so I would say that helps a lot in these situations.

Flip

1 2 3