Hi everyone, I’m looking for some advice.
I separated from my ex around 5 years ago and we have a daughter who is nearly 6. She currently lives with her dad and his partner. I live quite far away, so when I see her I have to travel for hours by train, only spend a few hours with her, and then travel back late the same day.
I’ve asked my ex if we can be a bit more flexible with arrangements (for example swapping dates sometimes), but he refuses and says it has to suit their plans. Recently I asked to change a date so I could spend some time with my partner (as I don’t live with him), and my ex reacted badly and said no.
He’s also said he doesn’t trust me with our daughter, which I find upsetting. When I’m there, I’m caring for her properly, but he has cameras in the house and has commented on things he’s seen, which makes me uncomfortable.
There are also some boundary issues—for example, his partner encourages my daughter to call her “mum,” which I find difficult, but I feel like I can’t raise concerns without it causing an argument.
All I want is to have more meaningful, regular time with my daughter—ideally something like every other week—but my ex won’t agree and only offers limited, inflexible times.
What would you do in this situation? Has anyone been through something similar?