SEN child repeatedly hurting my child - how to get school to act

[MonChoufleur123]

My child has been repeatedly attacked and harassed by another child in their class who has SEN.
Since year one (now year 4) there have been incidents of violence including punching my child in the face, scratching them down the side of the face drawing blood, pushing them over, pulling hair. They regularly harass them in the playground saying hurtful things.
My understanding is this child is generally disruptive in class and has also been violent/ aggressive to other children but seems to particularly target my son.
Yesterday this child pinned my son to a wall, grabbed his hair and twice banged his head into the wall. My son has been anxious about going to school for a long time and mornings are regularly a battle to get them into uniform and out the house. We're at a loss about what to say to him and how to reassure him.
We have been into school multiple times to discuss this and I feel like we have the same conversation every time. They say they can't give details about how the SEN child's behaviour is being managed or what support they have in class due to confidentiality but always say they use a restorative justice approach so yesterday this included my son having to apologise to the child who attacked him. The child's punishment for attacking my son yesterday was staying in at break time to tidy up. This seems unbelievably lenient.
What can we do to get school to take this more seriously? A formal complaint to the governors or local authority? My son is not safe around this child but I feel like the SEN child's welfare is being put before his. Any advice very welcome, thank you.

Yes it’s time to write to the head and copy in the chair of governors - title it ‘Safeguarding Formal complaint’ Read the safeguarding policy and behaviour policy and quote from them demonstrating they aren’t being followed and detailing how your child is not being kept safe. Do not make suggestions - it’s not your place to find the solution. Detail the facts and your concerns.

Would contacting Ofsted be an option.

Restorative justice is BS.

When you complain, make sure that you center your child and make sure that when they bring the other child's SEND in to it you say something like "I understand, but what are you going to do to safeguard my child".

It may help to have an idea of what you want to be done before any meetings,
Make sure that everything is written down.
Be firm but not aggressive don't lose your temper.
and stickto your points and do not let them side track you.

Tell the school you would like to lodge a Safeguarding complaint against them. Do it by email a state that you are doing so because your child has been repeatedly injured by another pupil, whilst in their care, and they have not taken any action to ensure it doesn’t happen.

Ofsted won't look at it unless you've exhausted all other options and followed the school's complaints policy to the letter. So it needs to be escalated to the governors before you can contact Ofsted (I did all of this - it made absolutely no difference).

Is making a safeguarding referral to social care an option?

Your DC shouldn't have to move class, or schools.
Your DC shouldn't have to suffer from anxiety by going to school.

You are following the right course by speaking to the head and as advised the Governors, I'd also warned them that you don't leave your DC in their care to become a punch bag for any child and will personally hold them responsible for any harm that they receive as from now.

Also keep photos of any marks/cuts and let the school know you're also considering getting in touch with the local papers, that does tend to get their back up but probably more through fear of the paper tacking up your story.

Exactly this. (I didn't actually advise my son to hit the bully, but he just got to the end of his tether).

i would see if you could contact police, dsl or ofsted as this is a safeguarding issue. Risk assessments are not being properly followed or are inadequate.

Ofsted don’t investigate or adjudicate individual issues, and would also expect a parent to go through the school’s formal complaints process first.

If OP does that, she can raise safeguarding concerns with Ofsted. But that wouldn’t change the outcome of the complaint procedure.

It doesn't sound like he has "school based anxiety" though does it? He more likely has anxiety about being hurt at school. This is a case of the school not keeping pupils safe and you can not put the blame in the victim here.

Go through all the channels at school
teacher- head- governors
they are not being proactive enough to keep your child safe
do not contact/ speak to parents
this is a school safeguarding issue it is repeated attacks therefore it is bullying and your child is being targeted repeatedly

I would also keep him off school even for a day or two as that seems to get schools into a panic over the absence figures. See if you can book a days annual leave and go and do something special together. the school doesn't need to know you can only maintain that for a couple days. Got to be better than wasting the GPs time over what is a normal reaction to a difficult situation rather than a standalone mental health issue. Though actually on second thoughts it might be worth contacting GP over concerns of concussion depending on how the head banging was, worth getting that documented.

agree with the rest of the advice about contacting the governors and creating a paper trail- the meetings with the head obviously aren't working if it's been years.

This school sounds poor and I would really consider moving him. Restorative justice is fine if used properly but it doesn't sound like it has been here, and it has to be used in conjunction with things like appropriate supervision and thinking really seriously about whether the school is the right setting for a child with violent behaviour.

Forget the other kid.

You look up the schools safeguarding policy and you quote it back to them and ask them how they are safeguarding your child.

You centre your child. You don't talk about the other child. It's all about what they are doing to ensure your kid isn't punched. Saying the other kid is SEN so we can't do anything, isn't safeguarding.

They have SEN obligations to the other child. They have safeguarding obligations to yours. They don't get to throw your kid under the bus because SEN.

If they don't respond about how they will safeguard using their own safeguarding policy THEN you escalate to governors asking why they are failing in their safeguarding obligations to your child.

Absolutely focus on the rights your child has. Their policy and obligations to the other child are irrelevant.

It's a system of complaint to teacher.
Complaint to head
Complaint to governors
Complaint to local authority (if not an academy)
And then complaint to Ofsted

In that order.

At each stage you need to use policy and demonstrate a failing by the party you have complained to.

If you don't go through this process you will not get very far. They will ignore it as not having gone through due process.

Everything starts with the school's own policies and ensuring they are being adhered to by the school and are in line with national standards.

I would be contacting Ofsted as it's a safe guarding issue for YOUR child.

I wonder if people know what Ofsted's remit actually is.

This comes up time and time again where people think Ofsted is the local police officer.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5420774-autistic-child-attacking-dd?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

read this post from last year -
very similar,
I believe the poster in this case ended up moving her child as the school could not resolve the issue ?

I'd be furious OP. Children deserve to be safe at school. They are also entitled to an education and if this child is repeatedly disruptive then I can't see how that will be happening. You've received some good advice about escalation so I won't repeat.

This “frankiecrankies” response is appalling and victim blaming.

So basically, your son is being bullied??

Autism/diagnosis whatever aside, this child is bigger and stronger than yours, and he chooses to bully another kid?

As a pp said complain, quite the policy.

Your son has a legal right to safety during education

*quote